Hopefulposek wrote on 30 Sep 2022 14:49:

The only thing that gives me comfort for how my life turned out so far (specifically in regards to porn etc.) is to know that maybe I will be able to use my story to help other people who were stuck in a similar situation. So thanks for posting this. Be’ezrat hashem you will see that you will be able to break free! Keep in touch and keep posting!
-ftc

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Amazing and inspiring!! Thanks 5Uu...!

Just a quick thought/idea before Yom Kippur (although it really has nothing to do with Yom Kippur):

I’ve been thinking about something for the past few weeks that i wanted to share with everyone. For all of those who have posted about their struggles and successes I think it would be fair to say that you get a lot of chizuk when people respond to your posts, pm you, or even hit the thank you button. If someone tells you that your post has helped them out, it makes you feel on top of the world. In a way it makes it seem ‘worth it’ that you went and/or are going through the struggles because you now have the opportunity to try and help others. At least that’s how I feel, but feel free to disagree.

Now I am definitely as guilty as anyone here when it comes to shopping around the forum and not responding at all…but what if we changed that. What if collectively, we would let someone know when they gave us chizuk and as a result be mechazek them? Think about the positive effect it can make on so many people when they realize how many people that they are effecting. I think the results could be huge. It could lead to so many people feeling more positive about themselves and maybe, just maybe help us all get out of this hole that we are in.

Anyway, lmk if you agree or disagree—but being that I get chizuk from everyone else responding to me, I am going to try and be more careful about letting others know when they are/were mechazek me.

ftc

I can't agree more - very important point, thank you!

And we are back at bein hazmanim again-definitely the hardest time of the year as there’s not as much structure throughout the day and I’m in a house full of unfiltered devices, but I feel much more confident than i have in the past. Reading the battle of the generation every day has been a great motivator for me and really put a positive light on this whole challenge. So, I’m going into beinhaZ with high hopes!! I’m really hoping that this is going to be the bein hazmanim that i finally make it clean all the way through. It will be a huge confidence booster for me if i see that i can persevere in this situation as I haven’t been able to for a long time…

I hope that ill continually be able to share successes with oilam here. Hope everyone else has hatzlacha and siyata dishmaya as well!!
-ftc

wow wow thanks for writing this, one thing i can tell is that hashem forgives you!!! 

You are just amazing, nobody on here inspires me like you do! 
One small thing, can you think of any way that you can convince your parents to filter their devices or at least lock them up? nowadays there is so much awareness on this, maybe show them a speech from some amazing speaker about having unfiltered devices at home and how unkosher that is! I think that will be a huge burden off your back to be able to be home safe and sound. 

My situation is complicated—if i ask for everything to be filtered it will be a dead giveaway, and I’m not ready for that…maybe i should be, but i definitely don’t have the strength to let my parents know what’s going on (I get a new appreciation of that Gemara where the tana said there was a fire in his house…that takes real strength). 

Anyway, today was a great day. It was actually one of those days that was just to busy to do anything wrong(-: but there still were a few challenges today when i went shopping for arba minim. Some so called ‘frum’ women happened to be there as well, and they definitely gave me a challenge, but bh I did great (i think) and moved on already. I’m still in high spirits and Be’ezrat hashem I’ll keep on going strong!

-ftc

ps. I’m having flashbacks of when i started this thread. I was at the same point that I’m at right now-comin up to 50 days clean. Although this time I’m a lot more educated then i was at the beginning of this thread. Thank you to everyone who has been part of my journey up till now!

You are such an unbelievable person!

Bein hazmanim so far has been great! I set up my gedarim in place (a knas for using any unfiltered device in my house) so that i be’ezrat hashem won’t slip up and bh it’s working! Wishing everyone here a chag kasher v’sameach!!
-ftc

Not in a great state of mind right now. Had a very hard day today and in a terrible mood. Be’ezrat hashem ill make it through. My gedarim are stopping me from using any other device so hopefully that will do the trick and tomorrow will be better

Keep it up! 
we all need each other’s support and strength. It shows that we are capable of winning.
Ive been going thru a rough patch with nocturnal emissions recently. No idea what’s going on, I’ve tried everything. So every day I now have that chaser effect, makes it so much harder, but falling is not an option anymore!

Hi FTC sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Try focusing on just getting through this one day, and don't make any decisions about what you want to do while your emotions are heightened. Today has also been the hardest day I've had for a while, I think it's probably related to post-chag burnout/tiredness. 

Really struggling today-hopefully things will get easier soon. I’ve been sick which means in bed and I’m also having a lot of physical discomfort… not a good combo. Not sure what i should do now