Hey everyone. I haven’t posted my story yet (hopefully that will come in a few weeks) but I need some help. I’m in middle of the 90 day challenge and I’m over fourty days clean of both p and m (something which hasn’t really happened for 15 years). But the yetzer hara started ramping up his game against me. I’ve been a little depressed for the last few days (for a side reason) and my urges are starting to come back stronger. To make matters worse I’ve been waking up seeing keri even though as far as I’ve been concerned I’ve been pretty good at guarding my thoughts during the day. What should I do?

Welcome. Great that you are BH doing well. When breaking free, wet dreams are expected - they are the subconscious revolting against your getting clean. the food news is that as time goes on, they diminish and stop (as long as one is not lusting a lot during the day). Although you write that the depression has another source, it is also expected to go through a low energy "blah" period of time at this stage. Again, Bh it is temporary. Your body and mind are readjusting to not having constant hyper-stimulation.   

Welcome and congratulations.
A couple of suggestions - find a partner to talk to and/or stay connected here. Speaking about this out loud helps keep it real.

Also I found the book the battle of the generation to be extremely helpful with developing a good perspective.

Lastly don’t just play defense. Go on the offensive against the yetzer hara and find something small and proactive that is meaningful to you. Use that as a tool to feel better about yourself and help you get through the down times.

I am sure that like many of us you probably used these counter productive behaviors as an escape when you were feeling down in the past. Now is the time to retrain yourself. Recognize your mood and resolve to approach it differently in a way that is productive and long lasting in a positive way.

Firstly, thank you for posting. Seeing someone struggling the way you are and continuing the fall not to break the streak gives me, and I assume many others, a lot of chizuk.
Your main chizuk should be your last forty days. It shows you that you have a strength you have not recognized.
What kept you going until this point that you got so far? Keep doing it. Remember your challenge today is not to reach the 90 day mark. The challenge is today. You can set a goal of 50, after which you can reassess.
I would add that if the yetzer hara is ramping his game, that means he realizes he is losing. If he thinks you will fall in the near future, just follow the same path he did before. He is worried he will lose another another battle. 

Welcome! Please check out these great free resources: 
ebook- The Battle of the Generation 
Audio series- The Fight
They're very good to start with.
See below in my signature for the links.

​Hatzlocha!

Congratulations on 40 days . Know that if you can make it through a period where you're low and depressed, you can make it through any period. It's a chance to define yourself as an eved Hashem not because you feel like it, but because it's the right thing to do. May brighter times come soon.

Bh I got over the bump in the road. I spoke to HHM on the phone and it was the most helpful thing I could do. The insights that he said gave me a whole new perspective on this issue and having someone talk to me who’s been there before and made it out was so inspiring. I can only say thank you to all the people who post on the forum (especially vekham and hhm) for all the continued chizuk and support in this journey.
To anyone who has not ever talked to someone over the phone about this issue, I would suggest that when the time is right and u feel that u can make that phone call then just do it. Don’t think twice. Just call and you will get a whole new level of chizuk. Posting on the forum is good but speaking to someone over the phone was in a different league!! It was so much more real and impactful. 
Hatzlacha to all in facing the challenge!!!! We can do it together!