Am I the only one who has this? Whenever I MZ"L I lose my energy, have nightmares/sleep paralysis esp. Fri Night, feel disgusting, lose my friends/chavrusas and everything goes bad until I stop for a while then it all comes back. Yet I still struggle during times of nisyonos to control my Taivos. How bad does that sound? 

bisyata dishmaya wrote on 29 Mar 2022 04:13:


 משנה תורה לרמב"ם · ספר המדע · הלכות דעות · פרק רביעי · הלכה יט

שכבת זרע היא כח הגוף וחייו ומאור העינים וכל שתצא ביותר הגוף כלה וכחו כלה וחייו
אובדים הוא שאמר שלמה בחכמתו אל תתן לנשים חילך כל השטוף בבעילה זקנה קופצת עליו וכחו תשש ועיניו כהות וריח רע נודף מפיו ומשחיו ושער ראשו וגבות עיניו וריסי עיניו נושרות ושער זקנו ושחיו ושער רגליו רבה שיניו נופלות והרבה כאבים חוץ מאלו באים עליו אמרו חכמי הרופאים אחד מאלף מת בשאר חלאים והאלף מרוב התשמיש

DavidT wrote on 29 Mar 2022 20:11:

I know this Rambam. I just feel I get punished a lot harder than anyone else.

Regarding this specific source, the Rambam here is referring to רוב תשמיש - i.e. regardless of how the zera is released, if it's done excessively it can have negative natural consequences (i.e. it's not a punishment).
וראה כתובות סא, ב (הטיילים כו'), וברמב"ם הל' אישות רפי"ד וד"ל.

In any case, it would be really interesting to know if anyone here has had similar symptoms to @bisyata dishmaya.


It sounds perfectly normal...

Negative consequences don't prevent us from falling, if they did, GYE would not exist. The reason it doesn't help is because of a thinking trap called "Delay Discounting," which means that immediate gratification often has a greater influence on us than things that will happen later on.

bisyata dishmaya wrote on 30 Mar 2022 01:12:

It isn't a punishment, it is just part of Hashem's creation i.e. reality. If you do suffer more than others (who am I to say you don't) that that is perhaps because the natural world usually has a sliding scale of symptoms. Maybe a combination of different internal factors makes that the case, but it isn't a punishment (according to me according to my reading of the rambam himself).

bego wrote on 30 Mar 2022 11:31:

Can you please explain what you mean by a sliding scale of symptoms and by internal factors?

bisyata dishmaya wrote on 30 Mar 2022 12:48:

Sliding scale = e.g. a headache can be on a scale of one to ten. Appendix can hurt, burst and in between. Mental illness - from stress through to much worse. 

​Internal factors: e.g. stress. if someone is stressed about x and that is compounded by individual factors (meaning other stress about a,b,c,d etc) it can be worse than another person that is also stressed but only in one area. 

Here: You feel bad after porn. maybe your mind then plays games on you and makes you think really negatively. Others, with other underlying thought processes, might get over it much quicker.  

bisyata dishmaya wrote on 30 Mar 2022 01:12:

Like the other members have already written, this does not seem to be a punishment, it might just be a reaction to the way you think about it. The way we think about something affects the way we feel about it. Our thoughts and feelings influence our behaviors, choices, and ultimately, outcomes. 

Try to remind yourself that you are innately a good person who has many good attributes. It will stop you from falling into the trap of "Today I am bad because I masturbated, yesterday I was good because I didn't". Somehow we measure ourselves exclusively on this one bad habit that we learned as innocent youngsters. You daven, you learn, you do many mitzvos, and you have the courage to deal with a tough challenge that most guys have but unfortunately can't face. Hashem will help you win! 

BH Reached day 24. Bein Hazemanim starting tomorrow so getting a little nervous. Will try to keep busy...

Are you safe with devices at home? If not, make a plan.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 31 Mar 2022 11:04:

Maybe the attached sheet can help...

Don't worry I'm still clean!

My data was slow the past several days

guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/379777-Kosher-Videogames

BH Still Clean! (See Below) Anyone know how to deal with Techloq? It's way too easy to access porn. I was on one page scrolled and saw something maybe porn maybe borderline didn't look too carefully and immediately exited so I don't think that's a fall if you disagree let me know but it's definitely annoying due to both how easy it is and that the image even though I saw it for less than a second remains in my mind longer than that. I emailed them with a list of these sites hopefully they will block it but I have a feeling there's more. I think I should make the TaphSic Shvua. If anyone has ideas for small knas big knas and distraction please let me know ASAP and then please keep on my back so I don't push it off till...