Hi All, I’m here to put some accountability into place for myself to get back to the better place I was once in. I recently had a few weeks of setbacks due to my phone becoming unfiltered and my lack of a sense of urgency to lock it back up again. Of course this didn’t work out well for me and this is my attempt at reaching out,  acknowledging the pain I’m in and recognizing that I need some help getting back on my feet. So here we go, I will bl’n try to log each day so that I will feel accountable. It’s important for me to remind myself that now that my phone is locked again I can start the journey. Till now it was b’bchinas toivel v’sheretz b’yado.

So far so good for day 1.

Welcome!!!!!!! first of all is your phone filtered now? and second of all you can do it I promise

Thank you! 
bh yes it is filtered now. It is actually locked down so that only a handful of website are allowed.
thanks for the chizuk

good 4 u!!!!!! It may be difficult to be "limited" but I promise it's worth it cuz triggers come from the silliest of "kosher" websites!!!

Totally agree about getting triggered by even the kosher websites.

bh 2 and a half days clean.

good for you!!!!!!!!! keep it up!!!!! 

4 days Bh.

Bh day 5. Went to chasuna tonight, made sure to daven beforehand for extra protection.

Day 7. Bh things are going well. My main weakness is being tired plus having access to an unfiltered device. The device part is under control right now, as it is safe, but the tired part is still there. I definitely stay up too late. I’d like to work on this more, however I find that I have intense resistance to it and it’s almost painful for me to go to sleep earlier. And It doesn’t help matters that my wife is usually in bed by 9 every night. Though I’m not blaming her, it’s my problem and I need to to figure out a solution for myself. I guess one day at a time…

youre doin amazing!!!! is there any form of kosher entertainment you can use after your wife is in bed so you can be busy and be safer?

Thank you for the suggestion, I really should look into getting back into reading, though I don’t have too much patience for it right now. But I think the issue is simply not getting to sleep earlier. This is a systemic issue that causes tiredness and anxiety throughout the day, and therefore higher stress levels. Whether I find one type of entertainment or another, the best thing would be to get to bed and get a good night sleep. That way I would be less likely to have urges the next day, as I did today when things got stressful at work.

Day 8

Day 9

Day 10

Day 12
had some urges tonight. Bh was able to shift focus away and dismiss them.

Day 14