It seemed to easy the past 20 days. After my fall I started reading the handbook daily but I slowed down the past couple days. That’s when things started getting tough. The urges are very strong but B”H I was able to let it pass. I knew that even though it was easy in the beguiling eventually it would get tough. I told myself that when I get an urge I would do 20 pushups to let it pass but in the moment you don’t remember. And I really want to avoid making a shvuah. I have been getting weird thoughts and it’s rough pushing them out. Even though I don’t really fantasize anymore. So I’m staying strong and staying on guard. 

It is very normal to experience these urges at this point. it is a form of withdrawal. Just keep doing what you are doing and remind yourself that there is a beautiful happy life without this garbage. It subsides eventually. Stay confident and focused tzaddik.