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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: 90 day log! 6853 Views

Re: 90 day log! 16 Feb 2022 01:14 #377466

  • oivedelokim
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I’m struggling a bit with motivation myself, and I found that it’s very important to clearly define why you want to stop and why you don’t , and make a cost-benefit analysis for changing and not changing. This is one of the exercises in the flight to freedom program, lesson 2. I would suggest that you check it out if you haven’t already.
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).


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Re: 90 day log! 16 Feb 2022 03:56 #377475

  • Avrohom
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It's very normal to have a powerful burst of motivation to start, and for that to taper off, leaving you uninspired and unmotivated. It's a part of the fight.
There are two aspects of motivation - inspiration/emotion and intellectual understanding. The fire, the inspiration, by definition doesn't last. But it's a very powerful force and a crucial tool in this battle. It got you fired up and through the first part of this journey. As Oived Elokim said, aside from the inspiration, a person needs to have a clear intellectual understanding of why he wants to break free, and even after we know it, reviewing it, clarifying it until it's deeply embedded takes time and effort. The powerful emotions and inspiration can also be reignited at times, but it's the understanding and knowledge that needs to be constant and will carry you through the valleys when inspiration and motivation are low. I'm sure you are aware of the reasons you want to stop, but it still requires a lot of review and focus. 
Personally, I'm going through a bit of a lull in inspiration myself so I'm talking to myself as much as you.
Keep up the great work!
אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי
אלמלא הקב"ה עוזרו לא יכול לו
זרע אברהם אוהבי

Re: 90 day log! 16 Feb 2022 07:32 #377480

Hi Youngertwin, 

Do you have a sense of what's leading you to your falls? In my experience, feelings of stress or despair about my life in general can lead me down that path. I've noticed that urges often don't come from a physical desire per se, but are instead an expression of pain on some level and a desire to walk away from who we are. Who you are is literally a piece of G-d. You're a holy and important part of Hashem's world. I heard a great saying once: "once you were born, the world decided it couldn't live without you." Don't believe the lie that you aren't essential, or that you've somehow lost the ability to succeed in your life. Only you can accomplish what it is you have to do here. I haven't met you, but I fully believe you are capable of actualizing your potential in this world. Don't be scared to take up the mantle of who you truly are, because in truth you are way way above all the nonsense that's out there online. Don't let that silly stuff pull you away from who you are and what your mission here is. And whatever the emotional/psychological challenges you have are, you will without a doubt overcome them

Re: 90 day log! 17 Feb 2022 17:45 #377537

  • zenfold
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It says in gemara that when all else fails to help you not sin, remember the day of death when you will be ודומו סלה silent forever.
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