For the past few months I have have a particularly hard time strugging with my taaivos. I haven't been clean for more that 4-5 days for a while now. I hope that posting about my journey will help me get out of this rut and stay clean.  

I am currently 2 days clean. I have started to work on understanding what situations and states of mind make me more vulnerable to falling and how to avoid or escape such situations.
I am also looking at SMART recovery. I am not considering go to any meetings but I want to start using some of their techniques. 

Tzafon wrote on 31 Oct 2021 19:32:

SMART move!
Please keep us posted with your progress on this great journey. 

Welcome. Keep posting. Staying in touch works for many guys here.

Going to meetings is one of the main techniques. Another main technique is to make a phone call. It's really the same technique, but meetings are more helpful because you can see the other person's face and read their body language. Watching someone sit there and listen to you as you really are and accept you 100% puts the lie to the thoughts that make you want to act out.

I have nothing against meetings, I just don't think that my addiction is strong enough to necessitate going so far.  For now I will try working on things on my own, (along with conversing with everyone here on the gye forum) and if I see that I am not progressing that I will reconsider.

I would suggest that you not only evaluate not only whether you can stay sober for a long time, but also whether you're happy doing it, free of anxiety, depression, anger, self-pity, arrogance ...

Tzafon wrote on 03 Nov 2021 01:34:

The term addiction is very misused. Addict/addiction have a very specific definition. Many guys who struggle, although they developed terrible habits that have addictive tendencies, are simply not addicts. The typical guy needs to be reeducated about sexuality, learn some techniques to regain self control, recognize his trggers and deal with them in a healthy way, set up gedarim/filters/accountability, be willing to make some serious lifestyle changes, and with a heaping dose of syatta d'shmaya will be on his way to breaking free.  A true addict on the other hand, which is less common, has BH the 12 step meetings which work very well for those who commit to investing the time and emotion, being completely honest, and accepting the guidance of a sponsor.  Two mehalchim for two different groups of people. A newcomer to GYE may not be able to determine what his status is regarding addiction - that's fine. A mentor here or a therapist can help one recognize where he is up to.  It may sound odd but there are guys whose main issue is "only" masturbation, yet are addicts; while there are guys who have done "the worst of the worst" and are not addicts. May Hashem help everyone find the correct path and help them break free.

I am now up to 7 days clean and B"H it is going well. I has been very busy recently  and do not have time to post anything more than a quick update.

It has been a while (too long) since I last posted. This break started because I didn't have internet for a few days, but continued because I was feeling very defeated after falling several times over the course of a few days and I wasn't very motivated to work on myself. Basically, I was just ignoring my falls and pushing off coming here or doing anything else. B"H, now I am back and I plan to continue.

Do you have a mentor or partner? Having one is very beneficial when an urge overwhelms...