How many times can i fall and fail before it becomes apparent that I will never change ?
I make progress. I do well. Then I do it again. I fall. I fail. 
I say to myself that every failure is a lesson but I feel like I’m kidding myself. Am I lying to myself ?
I say to myself by watching something I shouldn’t now it prevents me from doing an act or getting together with someone I shouldn’t.
40 years of lustful behaviour is always over my head like a cloud.
Does it get better ? 
I have to start a program somehow...

Thanks for letting me vent.
Jack

The most powerful way to break free from an addictive behaviors is to join a support group.

The following groups are suitable for GYE members:

• Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) - a 12 step program dealing with any lust-related behaviors. SA has thousands of meetings all over the world, so it's easy to find a local meeting at a time that suits you. There are also dozens of virtual meetings available. There is also a special phone conference twice a week that is especially suitable for GYE members. 
• Porn Anonymous (PA) - a new 12 step program dealing primarily with porn. PA has Zoom meetings 3 times a week.
• SMART Recovery - a science/therapy based alternative to the 12 step program.  There are live meetings appropriate for GYE members and there is also Zoom meeting once a week.

Also, unless you think your behavior is extreme, we recommended starting with the other tools on GYE before considering a 12-step support group.

For more information about these groups please write to help@guardyoureyes.org.