I'm clean now for five days, and every time I'm clean for some time my heart wakes up. I hardly ever think about the need for a relationship when I watch porn. Sometimes in the middle of watching, I'll get very frustrated that it's not the fulfillment I'm looking for, but this doesn't happen often. But, whenever I'm off, I right away start desiring a relationship. And it makes things so much harder.

I hate having these feelings. I can't ignore them and they're so strong. I get very lonely and the only way to kill them is through watching porn. Every girl I see on the street kills me. Why can't I have that? Instead, I wallow in my loneliness and I have nothing to do but think about it.

Hashem gives me this huge problem with porn and masturbation, and when I try to stop he reminds me how lonely I am. He can't have it both ways. I can't not have porn and also hate my life. You want to torture me? pick one way, damn it. 

This is a very brave post. Why are you unable to have a relationship? Is it because of age, or because of circumstances? I, myself, am in a position of loneliness and I am married! My situation is complicated because of shalom bayis issues, but your struggle resonates with me. 

Your post could just be a vent, but I am assuming that your post is also asking for advice. I think there are many people, even those in relationships,  and especially those in this site, who feel loneliness. A relationship doesn't fix loneliness. You need to feel a relationship with Hashem, who loves you tremendously,  and with yourself.  Hashem loves you more than any girl could, because He knows you and feels your pain more than even you can. If you can focus on building that relationship, you wont feel as lonely,  then when it is time (or Hashem arranges it), you can be in an even deeper relationship with a girl and you will have that relationship you strive for, because you wont be dependent on her to give to you. 

I hope this helps. It has certainly been my guiding light. Please feel comfortable asking, challenging, or even exploring more with me, either on this thread or privatelt.