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Trying to remain sober
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Trying to remain sober 3897 Views

Re: Trying to remain sober 12 Mar 2009 22:03 #3740

  • Ykv_schwartz
Phillip wrote on 12 Mar 2009 20:41:

Thank you YH for your message. You now showed how much more there is for me to improve. And I except it whole heartedly. I will try to work on the way I sleep and all the other areas that you wrote to avoid having further wet dreams. The truth is that it is so true about the last part on the yetser hara creeping in when one has a wet dream. Because every time I have one that same day is harder than the other days since the yh remins me of how it feels when it comes out. Yes I am married but it feels different when it comes during intimacy.

Phillip, I am glad to see you took my words to heart.  But what gives me great joy (and you should have greater joy) is the fact that that you just realized something about yourself.  Self-realization is an exhilarating experience and necessary for personal growth. You took what I said and applied it to yourself.  I look forward to the time that YOU help me realize something about myself.

We should all be zoche to continue inspiring each other and helping each other grow each in our own way. 
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Re: Trying to remain sober 20 Mar 2009 15:48 #3913

  • StrivingJew2
  • Current streak: 252 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 42
  • Karma: 0
Hi everyone sorry that I havent posted in a while. I have had a bit of a crazy week.
It started off with finally telling my wife everyting that is happening with me. I started off by telling her about my current situation and from there told her everything about my pass even since before we were married. The mistake that I did was that I didnt tell her everything on the same say. It took me a week and a half to tell here the whole story. The reason that I say that it was a mistake is because I started making her doubt if she can really trust me or not, that if I actually told her everything or not. Trust is one area in marriage that should not be broken because once it is than its really hard to gain the trust back. As you can imagine she is taking it really hard but on all I am really impress with the way she is handling it. She recommended us to go and see a sex therapist which we did. And it went pretty well B''H. Its not easy dealing with all this, but it is a huge step that I had to take since I knew that if i was really going to be serious about working on my addiction that this was a step that had to be taken. Iys really  amazing because just 2 month ago I would of never imagined that I would of told my wife, and  that i would go to a sex therapist , to SA meetings which I still havent gone to my first one yet excluding the phone meetings, which I have been participating with the past several weeks.  Overal these are steps that one needs to take in order to get rid of these addictions for life. Obviously it takes time. It actuallly takes one day at a time.
And thank you Ykv_Schwartz  for emailing me, encouraging me and reminding me of the importance of posting on the forum.
Have a good shabbos everyone.
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Re: Trying to remain sober 21 Mar 2009 21:16 #3922

  • Ykv_schwartz
Thank you for keeping us posted.  I am impressed with your integrity of taking the next proper step as I am sure this was very difficult.  If you get a chance, would you be able to share with us more on what happened and what we can learn from you.  Thank you for already pointing out some tips.
Hatzlacha Raba with the coming days, weeks and years dealing with this. We are all with you.  I hope to put a special prayer in for you at the kosel. 
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Re: Trying to remain sober 21 Mar 2009 21:29 #3923

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 256 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 6356
  • Karma: 116
They say, "no pain no gain". You are in this for the long-term, BIG TIME. You have taken steps that mean you understand clearly "there's no turning back". With that kind of determination, you are bound to succeed!

I updated the chart to 63 days. Keep up the great work!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 21 Mar 2009 21:30 by .
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