one of the reasons is because i stay late and tired and therefore my mind and will power are less strong which leads to less self control. but deep beyond that there are other deeper issues like resentment, anger, disappointment, feeling emotionally unsupported and unheard and ununderstood about my challenges. and which i find is connected with an unhealthy and toxic relationships of very close people in my life like my parents, painfully.

Hi geula! (lol that your username has a exclamation point at the end, makes it hard to not sound excited )

Kol hakavod - you're doing the right thing coming here, it can be pretty hard to face these challenges alone. I come here a lot for hischadshus and new perspective when it comes to the struggle, the chevra has a lot to share and tons of support to give, so know you're not alone. Would be happy to connect as a fellow soldier! - I can be reached at evergreen.gye@gmail.com, no expectations or pressure. Keep fighting!