Zedj wrote on 07 Nov 2022 00:07:

Just saw your thread for first time… you look like some strong fighter!! Keep it up! Ur not sure how much will power you have?!?! Just read your own signature… I LOVE IT!!!
btw that’s one of the Malies for having web chaver together with a filter cause than you can’t just remove filter on your own… good luck and hatzluchah on reaching day 90 in 90 days!! You’ll get there bhy!!

It would be our privilege to hear from you so often. You are certainly not an idiot as others have pointed out, keep on inspiring.

This is my first time posting to the forum so I'm not sure how this works but I need help either way.
I love wth parents who have unfiltered iPhones. My devices are filtered and theirs aren't. I have used their phones to act out numerous times. I have asked them to change the password multiple times. Every time, I either find out the password because it was an obvious change or they said they changed but really the didn't. 
I don't know wha else God expects of me at this point. I have tried so many times to get out of this situation and give myself a chance but I keep on ending up back in the same situation. 
If I told my parents about my situation, they wouldn't understand and call me a pervert. They caught me back when I was 12 watching porn and that was their response (now I'm 22)
Any advice?

dave955 wrote on 07 Nov 2022 05:45:

Welcome! You've come to the right place! Sexual desire is normal and you are not a pervert just because you fell in a rough situation. Have a look around the forums, check out some of the shiurim and and tools, and, perhaps most important of all, reach out! Hashem Help Me (HHM) [michelgelner@gmail.com] has been of invaluable help to so many of us on this forum. Hatzlacha!

Welcome!
Do you have a rebbi or a mentor you are close with that you can speak to that can help guide you in how to maybe talk to your parents?

dave955 wrote on 07 Nov 2022 05:45:

Welcome!

Why don't you start your own thread? We would love to hear more from you.

Also, please check out these great free resources:
ebook- The Battle of the Generation
Audio series- The Fight
They're very good to start with.
See below in my signature for the links.

​Hatzlocha!

Go ahead start your own thread and well all be following your journey! cant wait! welcome aboard! 

dave955 wrote on 07 Nov 2022 05:45:

Welcome to GYE! Please stay connected and keep us posted on your journey and together we'll all grow and go in the right directing BE"H.

Someone once asked "Dov" (one of our special members/mentors) 
"Should I Tell My Parents?"

Here is what he replied:

No, you certainly do not have to tell your parents.
I do believe, however, that your making a huge deal about rejection and shame if you would tell the parents is just not accurate. If your parents love you and are not very screwed up in the head, they will sympathize. Even if they are dissapointed, any half-normal parent will be concerned and try to help their child in any way possible. That is not rejection, not disowning, and not a shame. It is normal parent-child relations. And though it may be hard for you to imagine what it is like to have kids, I'd ask you to decide what you would like: if your son had a masturbation and porn problem, would you want the boy to open up to you, or to run in fear of shame and horror and, instead, keep it a secret and 'keep fighting'? Again - not a reason to tell! - but just something to think about.

Furthemore, a father (or mother) who has a porn, masturbation, or sex problem will often only open up about their own garbage as a result of their child opening up about it! I have seen this happen.

The only point I always share is this: opening up to safe understanding people is key in making any real change, at all. Somebody! Hiding it from parents is really just a way to hide it from everyone - and opening up about it here while hiding behind a username, is not really opening up enough. The fact that 'to tell or not to tell?' is such a big deal, demonstrates the need to tell somebody - and 'telling' on this virtual forum is just 'virtual telling...' That is what my heart tells me here. Sorry if I am way off... again.

Hey. Fake change we all have plenty experience with, right? I know I do! Maybe you feel the need for real change, and instinctively know that it will only, only come from real connections. The porn is all about fake connections - fantasy connections. Gevalt. This is so key to me in my own recovery. So I share it here and everywhere.

Hiding and lying is key in keeping on doing everything we have always been doing, and got us in this mess in the first place.

Day 1 clean BH

Thank you all for your kind words and comrade I really appreciate it.

I'm hoping to get right back on my feet after this fall bezh.

Besides for the regular fantasies that were expected after such a fall I did have a win today. Not gonna get into too much details but I deleted an email account that started giving me trouble from yesterday's saga.

I'm trying something new...not sure If it will work long term however, bli neder I plan to write to the ohel every sunday for the next 4 weeks and update on my progress in this area.

Also, I think im at the point where the gye "hype" is starting to wean...as I'm not on the high i was when I started...however the tzaddikim here and chizuk is imperative and crucial for me to stay clean...so here I am! 

hopw you enjoyed my 1st day clean ramble and thoughts  

Looking forward to tomorrow!

Day 2 clean BH

some fantasies today...probably gonna be like this for the next couple days. 

Midterms elections tonight!
Will new york turn red?

Will update you'all tomorrow BEZH!

I personally don’t think so… but I wish!!

Zedj wrote on 08 Nov 2022 23:46:

Hatzlacha raba
we will pray for you

How is day 3 going? 

Okay1 wrote on 09 Nov 2022 23:20:

Hey Okay1, thank you for asking.

3 days clean BH
Some fantasies...as expected however trying to stay focused.

Turns out NY is still blue....too bad.

Wishing you'all well!

Zedj wrote on 10 Nov 2022 00:48:

****