Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

Overcoming challenges
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Overcoming challenges 4228 Views

Re: Overcoming challenges 25 Dec 2020 07:27 #359734

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
Was just thinking that it's probably best to not distinguish at the time when/if these type of scenerios come up, maybe after the fact.

If anyone has anything to add or suggest,
Please

Re: Overcoming challenges 25 Dec 2020 07:28 #359735

  • Lou
  • Current streak: 74 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 234
  • Karma: 13
I was just thinking about it again...The word trigger is not word in the Torah,nor in the Rishonim,Achronim etc. I don't think the definition has to be universal and soething you learn pshat in. However you and "him" decided to define the word should be ok.

Re: Overcoming challenges 25 Dec 2020 16:40 #359749

  • Realestatemogul
  • Current streak: 64 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 375
  • Karma: 28
Don't feel stupid - every question is a good question! 

I would say if it relating to a shtar - then you shouldn't have a specific measure for seeing a trigger but rather you should send a text anytime you feel triggered. You can also include if you see something that you are more sensitive to even if in that moment you aren't triggered. 

Good for you for trying to know your boundaries and understanding them well!

Keep up the great work! 

Re: Overcoming challenges 25 Dec 2020 21:05 #359765

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
32 days clean

Thank you all for your thoughts!

I feel that by me being more aware of how I feel and being vulnerable will help me alot. Wishing you all good shabbos

Re: Overcoming challenges 27 Dec 2020 03:08 #359782

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
33 days clean

After all said and done it was good shabbos

Wishing everyone a great week!
Gut voch

Re: Overcoming challenges 27 Dec 2020 04:19 #359788

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1539 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2612
i-man wrote on 25 Dec 2020 07:21:
I always understood it to include negative emotions which lead one to act out , ie depression, sadness,anger, resentment, disappointment etc, as well as physical circumstances based on sleep , eating excercise etc . In fact for many - very  positive things can also be a trigger because of the inability to process emotion correctly , as well as the letdown .

You took the words right out of my mouth!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Overcoming challenges 29 Dec 2020 02:00 #360057

  • Sapy
  • Current streak: 43 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 170
  • Karma: 18
Regarding your question about triggers, check this out, might be helpful. guardyoureyes.com/articles/tips-suggestions/item/understanding-triggers-in-pornography-recovery?category_id=16 

Re: Overcoming challenges 29 Dec 2020 03:55 #360064

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
35 days clean.


Here to update:

B"H I've been busy learning.
I didn't really have much time to dwell on my bad mood today but it kept creeping up on me.


Tomorrow is a new day with a reenergized mind, body and spirit.

Re: Overcoming challenges 30 Dec 2020 04:07 #360128

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
36 days clean, 

I've finally reached the peak of my last streak. Now onwards we go!
36 strong!
B"H I'm mostly busy during the day so no chance think much other then G-d's word. 


When I joined GYE, the battle that I decided to focuse on was pornography. The reason being was because for the most part I would only be mzl if I watched.
I wouldn't just randomly go be mzl ( though, here and there I did but there isn't a pattern as far as I know) 


(I had my fair share of being mzl on a daily basis and battled along time. Just making that clear...I ain't no saint ...far from one)

I'm thinking that maybe the reason I didn't just go and be mzl was because I watched so many times a week....so I didn't need to..

In general, I have not thought about mzl being a problem...I am alittle worried that if I'm not more vigilant and be careful I may chash vesholom head down a path I thought to avoid.


Obviously I have lots of work to do and with Hashems Help (the one above) I will get out of this mess that I created for myself. 

Anyways these are my thoughts.

Wishing you all well and true happiness!

Re: Overcoming challenges 31 Dec 2020 04:15 #360218

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
37 days clean 

And now I'm trudging new grounds, I have not been at day 37 in a really long time.

I do have to say, part of my success has been to the fact that I've not had access to unfiltered devices ect ect.

My surroundings at this time is extremely helpful and conducive to this success.

Am I upset about that?
No, absolutely not! just I don't want to think about the challenges that might arrive if Im in a different climate for a certain amount of time.

Also , part of this success would never have been without all you guys here on gye rooting for me when I needed it most.

To many more unimaginable milestones on gye!

Thank you!

Re: Overcoming challenges 31 Dec 2020 06:47 #360241

  • excellence
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 127
  • Karma: 7
At this point we need to keep reminding ourselves that the focus needs to be ODAAT.
Wer'e so proud of you,
All of us
"The pain after giving in is so much greater than the pain of not giving in"
You may find some Chizuk here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/361746-Striving-for-Excellence

Re: Overcoming challenges 01 Jan 2021 07:12 #360330

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
38 days clean

I'm pretty amazed at myself that I'm actually 38 days clean.
I don't want to "celebrate to early" but I'm really happy about it. I'm so glad I joined gye!

Wishing you all only good!

Re: Overcoming challenges 01 Jan 2021 07:28 #360332

  • YeshivaGuy
  • Current streak: 179 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 898
  • Karma: 52
Zedj wrote on 01 Jan 2021 07:12:
38 days clean

I'm so glad I joined gye!


So are we
Keep shteiging buddy! You’re doing amazing 

Re: Overcoming challenges 01 Jan 2021 18:15 #360364

  • Realestatemogul
  • Current streak: 64 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 375
  • Karma: 28
Woohoo!!! 

You are doing great! Take it day by day and watch yourself slowly rise! 

Restricting yourself on the internet is very wise and means you have great self control! 

Regarding worrying about other environments. DONT!

You need to do the best you can in every place Hashem puts you. Obviously, Someone in a Yeshiva setting is easier but it doesn't mean they shouldn't go home and visit their parents. However, they also should not run to a beach where they will see something bad. It is a balance. 

Another point. Similar to a premature born baby - Would you say they shouldn't be in an incubator because they can't stay in that environment forever? NO! Because you know after some time of growing they will be able to go out on their own and now they just need the extra safety. 

Take the opportunity of a good environment to get stronger and then when a nisayon arises you will be in a better place to fight it. 

Don't be so hard on yourself and you are doing amazing!!
Last Edit: 01 Jan 2021 18:16 by Realestatemogul.

Re: Overcoming challenges 01 Jan 2021 20:33 #360379

  • Zedj
  • Current streak: 100 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 329
  • Karma: 17
Realestatemogul wrote on 01 Jan 2021 18:15:
Woohoo!!! 

You are doing great! Take it day by day and watch yourself slowly rise! 

Restricting yourself on the internet is very wise and means you have great self control! 

Regarding worrying about other environments. DONT!

You need to do the best you can in every place Hashem puts you. Obviously, Someone in a Yeshiva setting is easier but it doesn't mean they shouldn't go home and visit their parents. However, they also should not run to a beach where they will see something bad. It is a balance. 

Another point. Similar to a premature born baby - Would you say they shouldn't be in an incubator because they can't stay in that environment forever? NO! Because you know after some time of growing they will be able to go out on their own and now they just need the extra safety. 

Take the opportunity of a good environment to get stronger and then when a nisayon arises you will be in a better place to fight it. 

Don't be so hard on yourself and you are doing amazing!!

39 days clean

Thank you for your post.
I tend to take things harder then I should.i think the last line your wrote was the hammer that hit the nail because I know I'm way too serious and i have to lighten up...alot. especially with these inyanim.

Wishing you all
A good shabbos!
Time to create page: 0.44 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes