Haba, I love you TOO!! 

Well, I did it. I took those two extra shots in a l'chaim for your first 80 days, and your beginning your next round of clean days ahead. Haba, I love you. Life is all about ups and downs. The YH almost had me last week, i even got so close to the fence i could HEAR his voice in my head saying "c'mon, just this once, just click here, it's no big deal..."

I am no better than you. I held myself back THIS time. But i shouldn't have come so close to that line!! i was a hairsbreath away MAMASH from falling also. What about the future? SO I HAVE REDRAWN THE LINE AGAIN, this time further back than before. Building a Fence, like chazal did, to avoid the real breach.

Haba, we are all the same. Just as strong as each other. Listening to that YH and falling is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign we are HUMAN. IT'S OK TO ACCEPT THAT WE ARE HUMAN. You didn't fall because you were rebelling against Hashem, you simply made a mistake. You have learned the way WE ALL HAVE that the first step over the line is really a tumble off a cliff with nothing to hold onto, till you hit bottom.

Don't let it depress you. This new tekufah you can be much more aware of the poison and seek to stay away. don't let the YH convince you, with ideas like "enjoy your trip with me at your side for now, then when you get home you can begin another 90."

Haba - Hang in there, and remember we all love you!!

KOT!!

Haba, my dear friend.
what can i say after steve ...??
i agree with every word of him,
just to add that i love you too.
so keep up the great work!! you simply gonna do that again - 90 days clean is over here!

we will wait to you to LECHAYIM.  :D

yea, and dont make me wait too long...my mouth is getting dry...

Does anyone here think that i'll need REAL AA after i get thru with the SA stuff...? Bards?

Dear Friends,

You guys are the absolute best giving me chizzuk in this lull in my life. I'm finding it hard to get back up and restart the fight.

I still want to have the L'chaim with you OL and Steve, let's figure out a time when we can get on a conference call....

Steve, I can't tell you how thankful I am that you had those two l'chaims for me this past Shabbos, I can't say I got up just yet, I had another fall yesterday, but immediately after the fall, I installed accountability software that goes to my Rav, and I'm really hoping that does the trick.

One day soon, I will try to roar again!

Thanks for all your chizzuk, I appreciate it so much (and Steve, I don't mind the longish posts )

Every moment, we have an opportunity to move forward, and grow. You've seized your opportunity, and that is incredibly beautiful!

You've already roared!

If you're finding it hard to get back up, then you haven't learned the #1 Yesod on GYE, which is that Hashem looks for progress, not perfection. The fact you can't get restarted is because of the fear that you might fall again soon (on your trip, or whatever), so you say "what's the use"? That means you are looking at recovery as something that has to be "prefect", or you're looking for "prefect streaks". It's not that way at all. Every day clean is infinitely precious. Also, the merit of every time we say "no" builds up to give us koach for longer and longer clean streaks. It's all about progress, one moment at a time. A fall last week has nothing to do with this moment NOW.

Yalla, kum chaver!

Argggh! That's the sound of the battle raging inside me right now - literally raging like you can't imagine!!!!

Talk it out to uncle bards

We are sitting in the back of a shteebil over two cups of cofee

Let's shmoooze!!

haba,

Bards has taught us all how an Eved Hashem falls and gets back up again.

YOU ARE ALSO AN EVED HASHEM! That should give you SIMCHA, not depression!

DO NOT DESPAIR, HASHEM LOVES YOU!! YOU!! EVEN JUST AS YOU ARE, Human, with all your faults.

Just DO IT! You can! Daven to Hashem for the strength, then WALK AWAY from the battlefield. Don't sit there with your finger poised over the mouse button, "should i or shouldn't I?" Take your hand away, get out of the chair, go outside on this beautiful day for a walk. Call a friend, or a chaver like Bards, talk it out!! Get out of isolation. If nights are hard, take a natural sleep aid and get to bed early, get 8 hours of shut-eye. follow the shulchan aruch about sleeping on your side.

I know you can succeed. Why? Because you've done it before. That shows you have it in you.  Every day clean is a priceless victory. GET ONE. Then take the next day as it comes, and GET ANOTHER ONE.

One day at a time... PROGRESS, not perfection.

I love you, Haba, Have a GREAT, AWESOME Shabbos!!

Haba

Just walk away!!

Adois!

Ciao!!

Walk away!!!!!

Haba, vayter in shas. mir darfen gayn vayter and not look back. 80 days is awesome and I admire you for getting that far. You're special and going to make it all the way next time!

Yupppp!!yupppp!!

Trust the guys!!

Yes u can!!

B

Haba - how are you doing?

Hope you have a great shabbos, my friend!

Man-o-man, I wish I had something good to report...

I wish I could say that I'm restarting my climb, but unfortunately, I'm not. I'm gonna lay in the muck for a while

But at least I have Shabbos coming, I can't Wait!!!