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Slogging Through the Muck
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Slogging Through the Muck 23551 Views

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 16 Dec 2009 17:23 #35273

  • bardichev
habaletaher!

many of the oldtimers here are in the same boat

they are all coming out in support of you

because we all identify with you

a mere year ago i was shmutzing away and then it was off to night seder to give the shiur

the double life is horrendous

and all this is done with the excuse that we need "sippuk"

please read all of ykv schwartz's posts

he is a real marbitz Torah and a talmid chochom of note

his story  is what shook me into reality

I saw myself in his story so will you

stay with us for at least 90 days

we will cheer you along

and shlepp you out of the muck

the one thing you need to do is

RESOLVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HABA LITA=HERR MISAYIN OSSO!!!!!!!!!!!

b
Last Edit: by samco1991.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 08:27 #35700

  • habaletaher
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WOW, everyone, I'm truly humbled by the great number of people who have come out in support of me, and what I'm going through. I see that everyone is stressing that I should read the handbook and the guide, and I will have to get to them soon (does anyone hear the Y"H in that one????). Ironically, I'm a really really busy guy, and usually only get four hours of sleep (yes I know that makes it all the easier for the Satan to get me, I'm not at full stregth...). So I'm having a hard time putting aside the time to read them, even though I always somehow found the time for shmutzy shmutzy even if that meant I would only get 3 hours of sleep and feel bombed the next day!

I'm two days clean!!!

That would sound so much cooler if it was two hundred days clean!!! but hey, two ain't bad either.

Thanks again, I really look forward to getting to know all of you better, and hope that I will be in a position to offer more chizuk in this are to others (although I sort of do already when talmidim of mine come to me with problems in this area)

Haba
Last Edit: by getbackonthehorse.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 09:11 #35712

  • habaletaher
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Rage ATM wrote on 16 Dec 2009 16:07:

haba,

welcome and thank you...i am not a talmid chuchum...in fact im probably your everyday am haaretz through and though...but i am observant and i also felt the contradicting life...it hurt...but the thing is, an addiction is a disease...just like a talmid chuchum and an am haaretz can both get rabies or allergies or prostate cancer, they can both get this addiction...and the truth is, contrating this disease was not our fault...we were born into a world that didnt give us much of a chance in this war...we were born into an age where the efforts to turn everyone into mindless drones that worhip sex and lust is too great...but as the titanic is sinking, this little padddle boat is filling...and we're not just gonna paddle to shore but we're gonna fill that hole thats sinkin the ship...so we need you, especially since you are a talmid chuchum...thank you for joining....

heres the other thing: there are specific tools designed to treat this disease...please use them...youre not gonna beat this by upping your daily dosage of frumkeit...you will beat this by using the tools designed to treat addictions...good luck...



Thanks so much for your chizuk Rage. I actually used to love RATM in a former life, but maybe more on that some other time. The truth is that in this area there are no talmidei chachamim and amei ha'aretz, there are just a lot of people trying to figure out a way to escape an addiction that has smothered their potential and threatens to snuff out all their simchas hachayim. You can be my Rebbi, even if I can learn a blatt gemara faster than me. The way I see it, is I'm hoping to find a lot of Rabbeim on this site, from all walks of life and learning levels!

Thanks again,
Haba

I'm just gonna keep rollin down Rodeo with a shotgun... cuz I can't waste a day when the night brings a hearse
Last Edit: by gye07666.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 10:01 #35738

  • imtrying25
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Haba Haba Haba what the heck am i composing a song or something. Yeah dude im weird. Say it again. IM WEIRD. But what could i doabout it. My point though. One day at a time. On minute at a time. And in extreme situation one freakin second at a time. Keep the 200 for the racers in the olympics. We ride trycycles here. We are the turtle. we let the rabbit run run run till he ends up in hell. We crawl crawl crawl till we end up in a better place. No ofense Rage i think youll end up in that better place too. Sorry just felt i needed to voice my opinion.
Last Edit: by joeross276.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 10:10 #35744

  • habaletaher
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imtrying25 wrote on 18 Dec 2009 10:01:

Haba Haba Haba what the heck am i composing a song or something. Yeah dude im weird. Say it again. IM WEIRD. But what could i doabout it. My point though. One day at a time. On minute at a time. And in extreme situation one freakin second at a time. Keep the 200 for the racers in the olympics. We ride trycycles here. We are the turtle. we let the rabbit run run run till he ends up in hell. We crawl crawl crawl till we end up in a better place. No ofense Rage i think youll end up in that better place too. Sorry just felt i needed to voice my opinion.


All I want are some frikkin turtles with machine guns on their backs! They crawl, but they also have firepower. Imagine that: "I, Haba Haba Haba, condemn you Mr. Yetzer Hara Man to die at the firing squad. Your crimes are: making life miserable for all of humanity, and hurting Yaakov Avinu's leg. Turtles, aim, steady, fire!"

OK it's 5AM for me, I'm on a massive sleep deficit, and I still need to learn for about an hour before I can go to bed. But the good news is tomorrow will be 3! And you know we Jews love the number 3! Balance my friends, balance, that is true beauty in life, it's also knows as tiferes. Unfortunately most of us are here for balance deficits, but 3 is a good goal for me. And if I don't get off this computer right now, I might not make it to three, so I have to call the turtles in for the night!

Have a Good Shabbos!
Haba
Last Edit: by jstone.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 10:12 #35746

  • imtrying25
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Good shabbos to you too. Haba haba haba. Keep on firin' youll get through the front lines soon.
Last Edit: by eli2023.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 11:29 #35765

  • habaletaher
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OK, it's 6:22AM, I'm going to bed clean for the day/night. I've been trying for years to figure out a system where I go to bed early and wake up early instead of going to bed real late and waking up late. It's obviously easier to fall when you have the whole house to your quiet self for a good four hours a night, or actually not just to your quiet self, there's also that little voice that creeps in about 10 mins after it gets quiet and says "Let's go check out....'

I used to have a filter that shut down my computer every night at midnight and then turned it back on at 8AM, but I don't anymore. There were too many work things that I do get done between 12-8...

I want to get an accountability partner for my internet filter, but here is my reservation, maybe some of you could help me with this.

If it's someone I know, well, I don't really know anyone who could know about my problem without it being really bad, because I am a public figure

If it's someone I don't know, like someone from this site, I don't really feel any responsibility toward them because they don't know me....

How have you worked on this?

Thanks,

Haba
Last Edit: by menucha613.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 18 Dec 2009 11:53 #35768

  • the.guard
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habaletaher, what about k9? See this page: www.guardyoureyes.org/?p=24

For accountability, check out this page: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Filters/Accountability.asp
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 19 Dec 2009 20:19 by sunflower18.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 19 Dec 2009 18:00 #35839

  • Eye.nonymous
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Yeah, K9 works pretty good.

Keep up the good work!

Last Edit: by pureyes0613.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 19 Dec 2009 22:36 #35888

  • imtrying25
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Yes k9. I get complaints all the time about my k9. Speak to uri. Hes so mad i cant read his blog. maybe look around the forum and see if you see soeone who ticks you the right way and have him be your partner. Nothings foolproof man.
Last Edit: by gram1.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 20 Dec 2009 02:53 #35915

  • Holy Yid
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Welcome, sorry it took me so long to welcome you.

There are many chashiva people here. Many people living the double life. My friends complement me on my self disiplne but in front of the web I fall apart.

I am a bachor in Yeshiva and many people have big hopes for me but till a few months ago I carried a monster in myself.

I started here about 5 months ago and I thought I would never ever ever get to 90. I am now BH more than 4 months clean. 

Post often, tell us what you are thinking. You need to get out of your mind. This will increase your self awareness and self acceptance. Good luck and we are rooting for you.
זכרני נא, זכרני נא, וחזקני נא אך הפעם הזה, הפעם הזה, האלקים, ואנקמה נקם אחת משתי עיני, מפלשתים
Last Edit: by quiting.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 20 Dec 2009 07:38 #35956

  • habaletaher
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Hi,

Once again, thanks everyone for your support, it really is making a difference. Just now (2:34AM) all is quite in the house and Y"H started telling me "just go look, but you won't do anything..." but I didn't because today I'm at 4!!!

I don't want to lose that, and I really would like to see 90, so thanks to all of you for the first time I held myself back because of the GYE community, SO MANY MANY THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!

As of right now I have Bsecure, how does that compare to K9 or covenant eyes? (I only have the filtering as of right now, and as all of you know there are many ways around it, is it the same thing with K9?) Also, as of right now, I'm not using the accountability email feature they have).

Thanks to all of you for supporting me, and helping me slog through the muck.

A Gut Voch,
Haba

PS Funny Line of the Day: My computer beat me at chess, but he was no match for me in kickboxing!
Last Edit: by mallytbe11.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 20 Dec 2009 14:29 #36061

  • the.guard
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Haba,

It's great to have you here as part of this holy family!

If I was you, I would add k9 on top of the other one, and follow the instructions on this page so that you don't have access to the password....

If you like "funny lines of the day", read through the 20 pages of the depressed person's chill spot!  ;D
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by jamestflowers.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 20 Dec 2009 17:51 #36112

  • Holy Yid
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Mazal tov on hold back. I am glad I was a help. One question- what are you doing online at 2:30am? Please make a curfew and a penalty for breaking it. I do this and it is a wonderful tool. Keep up the good work. We want you to succeed.
זכרני נא, זכרני נא, וחזקני נא אך הפעם הזה, הפעם הזה, האלקים, ואנקמה נקם אחת משתי עיני, מפלשתים
Last Edit: by yankovyoeil.

Re: Slogging Through the Muck 20 Dec 2009 18:44 #36117

  • the.guard
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awesome rap, rage! did you make that up? if not, send me the original PLEASE
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by onboarding.
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