Hello everyone, I wanted to tell you that I had a fall the other day and I haven't been able to start again. It's hard, I managed to get to 37 days but had a fall six days ago. It's hard to get on board again. I think about stopping, and how it would be much better, but I just don't have the strenght. I know I have many improvements to make, such as installing a third-person-controlled-filter, but I can't pay for it. It really sucks, specially knowing deep inside that I can beat it.
This is my second time trying, and got further than the first time. Everything was fine until I was watching T.V. at night (I'm not married) and came up with this scene. I wasn't looking for it, I was just going through the channels. I wasn't reading the GYE emails everyday or getting on the website or anything. I just thought about not doing it, and it was going well. I'm not a religious person, I don't daven, before a month we started doing the brachot of wine and challa on shabat, although it's not something we do so often. I don't have that mindset of thinking in G-d about everything I do.
I'm sorry I wrote this not-so-connected text, I just wanted to express a few feelings.