Good Voch, y'all. Very inspiring Shabbos. And the calls this week were phenomenal!! We really have a great bunch of guys on the early Bird cruise ship. I am so looking forward to growing together with this chevra. As Guard says, we are GROWING THE ARMY OF HASHEM!!
Two questions were asked this Shabbos -
1) Girls are bentched that they should be like the Imahos, Sara v'Rivke, Rochel v'Leah. Why don't we bentch our son's that they should be like the AVOS? Why did Yaakov Avinu insist on Ephraim and Menashe over the AVOS?
A) We Yiddin face our greatest challenges in this world either when things are going GREAT, and we are on top ("Yeshurim grew fat, and kicked"), or when things are going poorly for our neshamos and we are surrounded by Tumah. Ephraim and Menashe conquered BOTH nesyonos: They were sons of Royalty, and were surrounded by galus Mitzrayim, yet grew up faithful and connected to Hashem, worthy of becoming Shevatim themselves. That's what we Jews need when we go thru history.
2) If that's the case, why are girls NOT given the same beracha? After all, don't they have the same tests of emunah we guys do? Don't they need the berachos of surviving both Golus and Prosperity?
One A) Girls are not given that beracha cuz THEY DON'T NEED IT. Women are naturally more spiritual than men are, as they are inclined toward an emotional connection to all of life. It was the noshim tzidkonios that never swayed in Mitzrayim. Women are gifted this way. What they DO need is a beracha for MIDDOS TOVOS, those special qualities (chesed, anavah, vatronos and hodaah) of the Imahos, and and TORAS IMECHA, the loving way they implant their emunah into the children.
So we see a profound diff between genders. Men's challenges are EXTERNAL, in how we interface with the WORLD. Women's challenges are INTERNAL, in how they interface with THEMSELVES and their home. And now we understand more the Chazal that the union of marriage COMPLETES a MAN (not both), cuz WE men need to learn from what the women have, and they DON'T need to learn from what we have, cuz they have that already.
We men, especially us addicts, have gotten so caught up in externals that we neglected our emotional and spiritual connection to LIFE. We have reacted to the trials and tribulations of life with PAIN, because we forget that life is not supposed to go OUR way, it's going HASHEM's way. "Rabbos Machshavos B'Leiv ISH (not Adam), v'atzas Hashem hi sakum." We think it's up to US to put food on the table, to pay the mortgage, and we live with constant anxiety.
We need to fulfill the blessings of Ephraim and Menashe, and connect to Hashem by ACCEPTING his control of our lives and doing our BEST to build our kesher with Him. All the while staying clean from the enticements of pritzus and immorality, which we here at GYE are all striving for.
THEN we need to learn to be humble, GIVING, other-focused, ballei vatronos, and creatively looking for ways to be considerate of others. That's why we get married, to have a life's partner upon whom we can PRACTICE these middos and refine our character.
However, if you're still single, it's not an excuse to wait until you're married to become a nice guy….
Have a GREAT VOCH!
