Steve wrote on 18 Mar 2010 14:23:


If that's the case, you'd better go out and buy yourself some more herring.  ;D

Steve wrote on 18 Mar 2010 14:18:


Well, you're not the kinda person you used to be!




No, Don isn't really a particularly ju-ish  name...

Dear Steve, my good chaver, and now one of my many Rebbes here on GYE,
Mazal Tov, you crazy tzaddik!!!

You are a regular Yosef Hatzaddik!!!

Hopefully I'll get there soon myself!!!

Keep rockin in the free world!!!

Thanx, Haba. problem is, whenever i wanna rock, the world aint free... their's always a cost...

98 days and counting UP!!

Had a cool 'sperience the other night. Went out for ice cream with the family, and walking up to get in line at the counter we came up behind a female dressed in a way that I used to not be able to keep my eyes off of. And that was EXACTLY what went thru my mind at the time - "UH OH!! this view used to fill my consciousness and be all I would want to look at, not be able to keep my eyes off of - BUT NOT TODAY!!" And I was so easily able to divert my eyes WITHOUT ANY SENSE OF LOSS and walk past this person to bring my family into a different line. I was so excited by my freedom, that I outstretched my arms and quietly started to yell I'M FREE!!!! B'H my sweet 12 year old daughter, who I guess knows my ability to embarrass her in public, grabbed by arm and muttered TATTIE!!, so she brought me back down into the world of propriety.

Guys, summer is coming, all too quickly. We have WHAT LOOKS LIKE a two front war going on - on the sites and on the streets. But it's really got ONLY ONE FRONT!! The field of battle is US. Where we are, where we face, what we see - it's all about our MIND and how we perceive life, it's about what choices we can make. Yeah, the sites are definitely our choice, but the Pritzie on the Street - SHE WAS A SURPRISE ATTACK, WASN'T SHE?

My Dearest Friends, "attitude, man, attitude..." The same attitude that gets us freedom of choice when it comes to avoiding the "click," is the same blessed choice to avoid the "chick." I CHOOSE - what I want to LOOK AT, what I want to THINK ABOUT, WHO I WANT TO BE!

Hey! I like that.

It makes NO DIFFERENCE,
"CLICK" or "CHICK,"
They're both an allergen
that'll make me sick.

OK, it's no Letakein, but it DOES get the mssg across, don' it?

Indeed it do!

Oh, and if anyone hasn't had a few loony boolabonga dancing recovery moments like that in their life, I suggest they live over again...

Steve wrote on 22 Mar 2010 14:17:


Gut Gezukt. Solid.

dov:
Indeed it do!

Oh, and if anyone hasn't had a few loony boolabonga dancing recovery moments like that in their life, I suggest they live over again...



Oh you don't "chap" dovish

Ok what rebbereber=DOV is saying is
Is:
If you think you are goNna be perfect, you are crazy
But if you are redy to be ok you are normal

Emes rebbe?

B

Nicely said, on so many levels!

I also like the fact that you enjoyed the freedom. I feel very strongly that we need to tap into that feeling. The other day I was walking down the street, saw a woman, and immediately looked away, diverted both eyes and thoughts. And for a second, I thought, "man, does that mean I'm not going to be able to fantasize about anyone I pass ever again?"

but then I realized - I'm not missing an opportunity, I'm gaining one! I'm now seizing the opportunity, every day, to be in a focused, healthy relationship with myself, with hashem, with all the people that I love. If i want to read a great book, I need to look at the pages, focus, read the words carefully. If I spend half my time glancing around, and just turning pages, then no matter how great the book is - I probably won't get much enjoyment out of it.

I want to get enjoyment out of life, and this is the best opportunity to do it!

Let's be positive!

Reb b,
Being just OK, is also OK! That was torture for me to accept - torture...but it's over now, thanks to people like you who showed me the nice things in the normal parts of life! Thanks!

KUTGW!!

Hey, Campers! How Y'all doin'?

Lots been happenin' these last few days. Got a lot of projects finished, and billed out, solidified a new project from an old client to start after Pesach, now have just a few more things to get done at work b4 the bedika.

Just wanna share this EYE OPENER FROM HASHEM with youz guys:

Today before davenning I stopped by my parents house to show their cleaning lady what i needed her to do in the kitchen to prep for my kashering their place Motsoi Shabbos. When i entered the kitchen around a corner i almost bumped into this girl. I thought a Polish cleaning lady would be older, lumpy, have a wart on her nose, crooked teeth, whatever. i was not prepared for an attractive young person with a dazzling smile whom i mamash almost hit noses with. Plus i had to stand right next to her to show her the cracks and crevices of the sink drain and oven. I had to work overtime not to give her a second look each time I had to face that side of the kitchen or talk to her. (i'm one of those guys who feels it's derech eretz to look directly at a person's face when you talk to them, despite the personal danger to myself). BH there were no hirhurrim today at those times, like the mental sparks that would have been flying a mere 5 months ago!

My problem was driving away, lustful thoughts of her tried to enter my mind. I said NO, I'M NOT GOING THERE, but that YH kept naggin at me like C'MON, IT'S ONLY THOUGHTS, WHY NOT ENJOY THE FANTASY? So like I've learned to do, I said out loud (i was alone in the car) OK, I MUST BE FEELING RID RIGHT NOW THAT'S CAUSING THIS "NEED", WHAT'S IT ABOUT? And of course the answer was WELL, YOU'RE STRESSED OUT CUZ YOUR PARENTS ARE SO NEEDY AND CANT TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES, AND CUZ EVERYTIME YOU GO OVER THERE THEIR NEEDINESS TAKES SO MUCH TIME TO DEAL WITH - like today Dad couldn't find his hearing aid, so that search stole an unexpected half hour of my time - BH I found it and was able to help, but the delay in my morning schedule caused the RID. Well, after that the thoughts went away, like they have done in the past - just knowing the underlining source which MANIPULATED me into lust thoughts allowed me to say I REFUSE TO BE MANIPULATED, and my mind moved on.

But THAT was a band aid. For the first time in a long time, I finally realised that.

When I got almost to Shemoneh Esrai, pictures of this person kept jumpimg up in my mind, and here i was in Tallis (rep of my COMMITMENT of marriage, to focus on ONE woman for my life) and Tefillin (rep of my COMMITMENT to be BOUND to Hashem), and yet this face and figure were swimming before me. It was THEN that i realized my first response was ALL ABOUT ME - MY SELF AWARENESS (read EGO) thinking it had the full solution, that thru this i was considering myself "in control" of removing lustful thoughts. My method was NOT about surrendering from the battle and giving my life over the Hashem. Here I thought I was firmly on the sun deck of Duvid Chaim's cruise ship, but I was really missing the boat.

So in my tefilla, I begged the Ribbono Shel Olam, I said I CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE. I AM NOT IN CONTROL, I NEVER WAS, I CAN NOT TRUST MYSELF. TATTIE, I NEED YOU TO TAKE THE LUSTFUL THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD AND HEART. I'M BEGGING YOU TO RELIEVE ME OF THE BURDEN OF THIS OVERPOWERING YETZER HARA, PLEASE TAKE IT OFF OF MY SHOULDERS AND PLACE IT ON YOURS, AND FIGHT THE BATTLE FOR ME. PLEASE GIVE ME OF YOUR STRENGTH, TO FOCUS MY DESIRES ONLY UPON THE SPECIAL WIFE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IN YOUR GREAT KINDNESS, AND TO APPRECIATE THE GOOD THAT YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME.

And immediately after that, the images went poof, and even now as i type this remembering them means no more to me than remembering that there is a desk in front of me.

This is the KEY to the CHAYRUS, the FREEDOM, we all seek. Taking this burden of the YH for lust, and giving it to Hashem. HE has the Power to deal with it, not me. This is the beginning of the SPIRITUAL CONNECTION with Hashem which Duvid Chaim has been talking about, asking HASHEM to DO IT, and NOT TO JUST HELP ME DO IT. And with that, for the time being, I've found more FREEDOM from my desires than I had before.

I thank Hashem for the privilege to have become part of this great GYE Chevra. Before you life was unbearable. I shudder to think where i would be today if i hadn't joined you 5 months ago. Certainly not at 101 DAYS CLEAN!! It's like a DREAM!

Hashem has been so wonderful to me, and has taken me out of a great part of my own personal Mitzrayim, and is leading me out of the rest. Yehi Ratzon that I be zoche to become a true Eved Hashem, and with my family at home, and with my GYE Family abroad, be zoche together to the Geulah Shelayma, speedily and in our days.

Chag Kasher V'Somayach!!

Your humble chaver,

Steve

Today before davenning I stopped by my parents house to show their cleaning lady what i needed her to do in the kitchen to prep for my kashering their place Motsoi Shabbos. When i entered the kitchen around a corner i almost bumped into this girl. I thought a Polish cleaning lady would be older, lumpy, have a wart on her nose, crooked teeth, whatever. i was not prepared for an attractive young person with a dazzling smile whom i mamash almost hit noses with. Plus i had to stand right next to her to show her the cracks and crevices of the sink drain and oven. I had to work overtime not to give her a second look each time I had to face that side of the kitchen or talk to her. (i'm one of those guys who feels it's derech eretz to look directly at a person's face when you talk to them, despite the personal danger to myself). BH there were no hirhurrim today at those times, like the mental sparks that would have been flying a mere 5 months ago!


steve these preety girls smiled waved little flags threw carnations and brouught little chocolates

to the occupieng germans to thank them for burning my grandparents alive

if the wanna clean up after my cholint

i say make my day!

yemach shemam

having said that,hired help is an issue

but.. steve We learned that she is not YOUR problem!!

Yeah, Bards, i know. My family also was killed in Poland. And that's another point in the unexplainable koach of this addiction - even tho we know we should be REPULSED by certain people, the YH for znus is multicultural and non-denominational. Anyone can join the club...

And my parents just called an agency, and this is who they send.

It can be debated if the current younger generation of Germans and Poles have the same elevated Sinas Yisroel as their grandparents. I dont know. A few of us from Yeshiva were hiking in Ein Gedi in 1984, and met a Gernam girl around 18-23 years old. The biggest German-hater of our yeshiva, a real Meir Kahane man, was asking her what she was doing in Israel and how she felt about the holocaust. This blond haired, blue eyed Aryan was actually having real charata for her nation's inhumanity, and came to Israel to try to understand the people her ancestors hated so much. After overhearing their conversation, I wouldn't be surprised if she had been migeiyur, she was so sincere and pained by the past.

Even the evil Emporer Nero ran away and did teshuvah, and his descendants are among the famous ones in the Gemorrah.

I can't help my sinna for the older generations who helped kill yidden or just stood by. But as far as hating the new generations of Poles and Germans, I prefer to judge it case by case.

Sorry, that's just how I feel.

Meanwhile, back to the issue - YEAH, SHE'S NOT MY PROBLEM.  I'M MY PROBLEM. This was about my needing to come closer to Hashem to solve the problem of ME. I couldn't care LESS about HER.

The "She's not your problem" adage is good, but that has more to do with the pretty lady that you see on the street and have no contact with, who IS a problem (like the Bug Light is a Problem for the Moths), but is not MY problem in that I can turn away without interaction and a second look. I become a problem when I have to interact with an attractive woman, and that's part of the progress I have been working on.

And i like to think i did pretty darn good, today...

It sure sounds like it was a good day, Steve, Mazel Tubes on being able to respond that way!

Reb b and you may feel differently about some things but it sure is geshmak to witness people speaking their hearts to each other the way you two are! BTW, as I posted to Reb b before, my parents lost their entire families there, too, and told me exactly the same story - they were worse than the Germans. We went to Poland a few years ago to visit Birkenau and Auschwitz and for my mother to show us all the places she stood and exactly what happened in each. In the meantime, there was a wacked out jewish festival of klezmer going on in Krakow...it was attended mostly by young polish goyim...there are basically no jews in Krakow. It made me nauseous. But what upset me more was the yid I met there who told me he felt some "closure" because of poles enjoying klezmer....like it was all just a racism thing between us! Gevalt. He knew less about what it means to be a jew than did the poles that hated his grandparents! In the meantime, more than half the world is probably denying the holocaust in the first place...but they love klezmer music.

So, we have what to be bitter about.

Or,

When we sit at the seder iy"H, we can look in our kids' (or guests') eyes and say that even though the world is forgetting the holocaust as it's witnesses are dying out, we will not forget it. But more importantly, even though so many of us are forgetting or even denying matan Torah, we will never forget the day we stood at Sinai and heard Hashem speak his Will to us. We'll remember it the exact same way our grand kids will remember the holocaust - they heard it from us who looked into the eyes of those who saw it.
And being a recovering addict, I have a special gift. I have memory of my frailty even when I don't see it. May I never forget!

I sit here, humbled by the Pride and Fierce Determination of Reb B and Dov, to instill in the hearts of the next generation never to forget. And they are RIGHT.

But, forgive me, never to forget WHAT?

The answer given is never to forget that the evil goyim of the world hate our guts because we're yidden and have slaughtered so many of us. And that in every generation they try to annihilate us, but Hashem always saves us, or at least a remnant of us, from their hands.

Let me ask you:

On Pesach, we also are told never to forget - we retell the story over and over again, year after year, generation by generation. We, the Bnei Yisroel, have not forgotten how the Mitzriyim mistreated us, how they murdered our babies for blood or as bricks, how they tried to dehumanize us, make us slave for no purpose, how they taunted us and mocked us, and tried to break our spirits, our families and our ability to grow in ruchniyus. The whole nation was evil to the core.

Have we remembered, do we instruct our children to HATE them? Are we instructed by our chachomim to feel the hatred to them? What about the Romans who murdered MILLIONS of Jews IN ONE DAY?! How about the Spaniards who burned us at the stake? What about the perpetrators of Tat V'Tat? Where is our national Hatred to the Arabs who want to push us into the sea? How about hatred to our own brethren who sent boatloads of jewish children back to the Nazi camps? Or the ones who cut off the payos of Holy Teimonim and forced them to forget the Torah in the Kibbutzim? Maybe we should make our own opposing hate group against the Neo Nazis.

The list goes on and on.

Klal Yisroel was not founded on hatred. We should never forgive the atrocities done to us, we don't "turn the other cheek", but we don't cloud the issue with an emotional burning hatred. Instead we feel a sadness, a recognition of how animalistic the human race would become if it weren't for Hashem's using US to instill in the hearts and mind of the world "a conscience." And how when they fail in their lesson, Hashem in His Kindness comes to our rescue.

We are taught to REMEMBER that we really have enemies in every generation in order that that we KNOW WITH A CLARITY THAT WE WOULD NOT EXIST WITHOUT HASHEM, not just physically individually, but on a NATIONAL level. WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL, AND WE ARE COMPLETELY DEPENDANT ON HASHEM FOR OUR SURVIVAL. WE HAVE TO FEEL THAT, IN OUR HEARTS, NOT JUST KNOW IT INTELLECTUALLY.

We are NOT taught to concentrate on HATING our enemies, because we remember that the Murderers are NOT IN CHARGE. They are but puppets. Hashem Hu HaElokim! Why He in his Great Wisdom saw fit to let one generation's evil plan succeed, while He saved us completely in other generations, we cannot fathom. But the LESSON of the history of our people, Hashem's chosen, is that after we have been insolent long enough, thinking that WE are in control of our destiny, Hashem's "patience" runs out and he picks our nation up by the scruff of our necks, holds us over a cliff, and DANGLES us a few times until we (hopefuly) get the message. But His love for us always wins out, and although we rightfully deserved to be destroyed completely, HE DOES NOT DESTOY US COMPLETELY. And that Hakaras HaTov should be channelled into LOVING Hashem back, not sidetracked with an active HATRED toward our enemies.

So I will take a lesson from the Haggaddah of how to remember the tragedies and atrocities against our forebears, and how to SPEAK OF THEM OVER TO MY CHILDREN. I will not forget, nor forgive, but my focus will be on the "potch" from Hashem, and how Hashem wants us to react, by deepening our connection and commitment to become HIS avodim.

Thank you Reb B and Reb Dov for giving me the opportunity to straighten out my thoughts on this inyan. I think I'm gonna make this a specific topic at one of the seudos over Yom Tov. It should be a pretty lively discussion!!

A Good Shabbos to y'all.