Foist, there's no peons. Every Single Person here (OK, even the Married ones
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/wink.png)
) is greater than any Malach.
Second, of course I enjoy spending time with any GYE'er. Just need more TIME...
Look, to be blunt, my heart pains me for everyone here that's living through the Clean/Fall/Clean again/Fall again repetitive cycle over and over again. I've been there, and I know the pain, the depression, the guilt/shame, the brave response, the hope, the dream, the build up of a clean streak, the agony of defeat. The misery, the suicidal feelings, the imploring to Hashem from the depths of despair, the SOMETHING that gives you strength to try again. The crying out in desperation of IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO BREAK THE INEVITABLE CYCLE?!
There are different systems of getting into recovery out there, different strokes for different folks, and no one system works for everybody. BUT YOU"VE GOT TO TRY SOMETHING!! You can't just keep doing the same things over and over again and expect different results. That's foolish, to call a spade a spade. The 90 days thingy is GREAT, but how will you get there? If you're finding the urge at Day 85 is as strong as the urge at Day 3, and you fall, then WHY are those accumulated 85 Days not having an effect on you to lessen the urge? There's no MAGIC in 90 that can't be felt at 85 to some degree if that system is working. IF IT ISN"T, then obviously whatever you're doing (while I do not mean to belittle it) may not be ENOUGH for you. Obviously the way you are living each day needs a different approach while you build your 90 days.
My feelings are that everyone of us addicts, for whom the Forum and the handbooks and the chizuk and the GYE inspiration just isn't holding us, needs to try an additional, new approach. Since the 12 Step program works for me and so many others, that's all I can recommend, it's all I know. I feel deep down it's the REAL SOLUTION for everyone. TRY IT. But REALLY work at it, give it your best shot. If it doesn't "Fit Your Schnit", then try either a different sponsor or another system. BUT YOU"VE GOT TO TRY!!! And the Freedom from Lust that is promised WILL BE YOURS ONE DAY.
Imagine that kind of a life!! A life when the Yetzer Hara for Znus and Lust and looking at women and fantasizing and acting out is BELOW YOUR BECHIRA POINT - not even on the radar of your FREE CHOICE ph range, like the urge to eat treif or to be mechalel shabbos or to steal from the pushkah. A life where when the thought passes over to your mind of the availability of that sin, you can easily turn away and say "not for me anymore, that's below my concerns right now." THAT'S FREEDOM. The FREEDOM from Lust means we've WON BACK our FREEDOM OF CHOICE. The YH is still there, we remain human, we're still men to our dying day, but the urge has no power over us. We are FREE to chose to walk away from the urge by not giving it a second look, not cause we are fearful of falling, but because we know it's poison like arsenic.
So I cry out to all my GYE chevra that are on the rollercoaster and WANT TO GET OFF, please please please, you owe it to yourself to TRY SOMETHING NEW, a program that promises recovery. Do your best with whatever you pick. Give it your all. Even tho you know in the back of your mind that if this doesn't work you'll try another system, you MUST try it out as if it's the ONLY system. You don't go into a marriage with the thought that you can always back out of it in the future. Such thoughts ruin your full commitment. "Sam Ting" here.
It's still the perfect time to join Duvid Chaim's Anonymous SA Group Conference Call.
And it's also the perfect time for me to say G'nite to all my GYE chevra. May HKB"H fulfill all your desires for Purity and Holiness, and may we all find peace and joy as we grow closer to Hashem and to each other.