silentbattle wrote on 18 Feb 2010 18:10:


Public Service Announcement:

Not being OVER lust does NOT mean that one day I am bound to be OVEIR lust. I am determined never to fall again. BH for GYE and DC's Program that I have been, and continue to get, the tools i need to turn away from the YH's offers of lust hits.

My goal now is to ALSO apply the same strategies against my other faults, to become the person I really want to be.

I am practical, though. I'm gonna save overeating for the last battle... At least until i sell my stocks in Spandex...

I am in awe over that post.  Thank you for mentioning me the way you describe me.  It's not easy to be positive all the time.  However, I have huge money problems myself.  I barely scrape by.  But I know in my mind money is not the only thing that gets me through.  It's everything that get me through.  Look at your life around and be proud of your life.  Money is a part of it but not all of it.  Do I get down sometimes over my money situation, yes.  Does it consume me sometimes?  yes!!  but then I remember about the things in life money has nothing to do with.  Money has nothing to do with the love for yourself.  Nothing to do with the love for your wife or kids.  It has nothing to do with the most important thing, G-d.  Lastly, you said I walk away from the YH.  It's not that a walk away from him.  I live against him.  In living your life, you are against it.  You win by living.  Keep on trucking my friend.  Glad you enjoyed the pages around MM.  It was very hard and still is.  I could not imagine how much he inspired me.  But he has.

Steve, you're a fantastic a bloke and an inspirational member of this website. Keep up the great work!

Oh and dont forget, your a pickle too, and you know what that means dont you??

Steve wrote on 18 Feb 2010 18:55:


Nicely said.

Have an Awesome and Great Shabbos, Everybody.

I'm gonna try to feel the kedusha this shabbos. It's been too long.... I really miss i old connection to Hashem. I know how to get it back, but it takes a lot of bravery to make it complete. I'm davenning He'll be patient with me, and accept that which I can give to him, slowly.

Steve,

Have a wonderful Shabbos.  It is amazing how you look at your connection with G-d.  I learn so much from how you are preparing to daven.  Inspirational!!! Bravery I feel comes from within your deepest parts of you.  I know you will be brave.

Hailegeh Steve! I asked the Bard and he said something like Mishenichnas Adar bardin Besimcha, y'know something bardish like that. I got hungry reading about the steaks, thanks a lot . Anyway, my heart goes out to you and sci about the money problems, and I'll daven for you guys. I hope things work out and you have continued success on the WOH. Have a great night!

Shavuah Tov, Gutte Voch, whatever you like, just

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!!

OK, guys, while we're doing the "be brutally honest" model of psychotherapy, (BTW, forgive misspells as this comp doesnt do spllchk very well), here's my scoop:

1. as much as I'de love to hang out here this week leading up to Purim, I have too much work I'm obligated to do and only so much time, so something gotta give. I'll be more marbim b'bardishe simcha if I can get it all done b4 shabbos. So i'm gonna log out till after Purim.

2. I had been a TV addict when I was a kid, and as an adult with BH no TV at home, I became a closet Movie addict as well. When kids were young and needed distraction, I fell into the trap of my YH to get a VCR with a TV as a monitor on the excuse it's for them to watch "healthy" videos like Barney and Jewish Kids ones, while deep down I cherished the chance to watch a "kosher" movie once in a while with my wife. Fast forward 17 years and we have a drawer full of VCR & DVD disney movies, old TV shows like Andy Griffith & I love lucy, "socially redeeming" family movies, you get the picture. KIds now are limitedly addicted to episodes and moivies we have, or Harry Potter computer games, and cannot think creatively so much how to amuse themselves otherwise. These past weeks when the big chill came, I paid to join a movie download site, so we could get old hollywood "even MORE kosher" movies you can't find anymore that could distract the kids who were cooped up and asking for them. My wife's really into it, feels you gotta give the kids SOMETHING and not say No No No all the time, or they'll end up off the derech.

I kept a copy of the program on my work comp, and when it went back to the office, I started downloading & watching action flicks I missed all these years, instead of working. See? - INstead of watching P, I was becoming an addict again to this stuff, and work and life was suffering again.

On Friday i got a phone call from a client whose work is now 2 months late, and they started telling me how I've ruined my reputation and now have a name as someone who does great work but takes forever to deliver. It's like hitting rock bottom for me.

BH I decided to be brave and honest with myself, an influence from Sci1977 among many others of you, and Motsoi Shabbos I went into my office and deleted all the movies I had downloaded, and as soon as I figure out how to uninstall a program on my Mac, I'm deleting the program there too. i am determined to rebuild my rep, and I'm starting by treating Movies and videos the same way I treated lust - no second looks. And starting today I'm gonna stay away from anything that distracts me from learning and working and family time, bli neder.

MAy HAshem give me the strength and ability to put this all into practive.

3. I love you all, I'm still clean and now even MORE sober, and intend to stay that way until Purim. Then I'm drinkin with the best of them!

Until Moetsoi Shushan Purim, I wish you all a Freilechen Purim!! Be B'Simcha!!

Kol Tuv,

Steve (the man getting out of a big pickle)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!

Thats about all i can say to that post. Enjoy your week off from the forum, and we cant wait to get our pickle back, can we guys??

wow.  amazing post.  It takes courage to do what you want to do.  Have a great week and your work is I am sure great!

Wow. What a post. I am also a TV and media addict, so I understand what you're saying. Also, I fall behind in my work due to my surfing.

Anyway, good luck. Doven, and have a wonderful Purim.

Steve you are a role pickle I mean a role model

A freilichen Purim
If you pickle your way thru my slce of the east coast please make a lchaim chapp a rikkud!!
B

Wow - as always, I'm amazed, impressed, and inspired.

I would point out that as far s feeling the kedusha on shabbos, that can be very difficult - but focusing on all the wonderful things we havem, our family, and enjoying what we have (family time, shabbos meals, singing, divrei torah, etc), that can help.

Hope you have a great week, and a fantastic purim!