Welcome to Tuesday.
Got a lot of catching up to do with work. Hard to function when there's a tiny feather tickling my nose on the inside, making my head run with water like Niagara. Caused a rough nite's sleep.
Never had allergies before, but i have a funny feeling this is what it's like.
Anyway, made a decision recently, not sure if it was right, but it felt right for me then. A friend, not so close, but a good man & major askan in our community, made a l'chaim for his daughter's engagement. Normally, I would have gone to give him a mazal tov. But I realized, even tho his family are bnei aliya b'ruchniyos, his wife and daughter dress very attractively, plus the kallah herself is, well, gorgeous, according to her pic on Facebooks which my wife showed me. I haven't seen her in years, but she was good-looking as a teen & made friends with the crowd that dressed less sniyusly. I decided NOT to go, thinking "why should I put myself into that nisayon" of avoiding looking at all the pretty young women, who most likely will be dressed in ways that make one WANT to look. As Habib and Trying taught me, I'm not talking against them, I hope they are working on themselves despite the influences of fashion. I'm just recognizing it's MY problem, and question if am I stronger than the nisayon or not? And rather than "test" myself, i decided it's best not even to "engage" the enemy.
I don't think of this as a failure, but as a win - 3 months ago I would have gladly gone, even looking forward inside to the feast for my eyes. If I could have worn sunglasses, I would have, to be able to stare with impunity. So I think of this as progress, BH, as a strategy to avoid slips. And by calling them afterwards, and wishing the parents mazal tov via phone, I get to give them my beracha without danger to myself.
Life can be VERY funny sometimes.
