Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 10 Feb 2020 23:35:

Mazel Tov! 
  
Rabbi Elimelech of Lizensk wrote in Tzetyl Kattan, (or “A Small Note”)
 "overcome your bad habits by acting in the complete opposite for 40 consecutive days. If you are lazy, then act extremely vigilant, etc. In all of your actions act with diligence rather than laxity. When you wake up, or go to work, or when organizing yourself."

Seems that 40 days is what it takes to implement a new positive habit...

we areally looking forward to you reaching 90 ... and much more with Hashem's help. 

DavidT - Thank you! That means a lot. Thank you for enlightening me! A milestone then!

Hello there Fight (can I call you fight? )

I totally relate to your story. I started here 7 yrs ago, and was doing okay for quite of a while but until recently dived head in the shmutz.
B"H a week clean now and hope to maintain that.
I like it you said you've been reading your own advice from the past.
I did that too (my advice from 7 years ago) and found it funny as how it perfectly still related to me. I could've written that plan I wrote 7 years ago, today, and it would still be very effective.
Could you share some of your advice?

Thanks for sharing your story!

Hi snowflake! Thanks for the post. Glad to find a friend who relates to my story!
In terms of old advice, some has been helpful and some less so simply because of my current lifestyle compared to back then. But some of the helpful ones include:
• Doing your best never to touch yourself at all - even when relieving yourself etc. It helps.
• Staying busy - I know I find myself straying when I've got nothing else to do, so making sure I'm not in a situation where I'll be free to fall is a really helpful 'fence' for me.
• Talking to Hashem - He knows our struggle better than anyone, and the more you talk to him the easier I find it. This applies to my work, learning, relationships and so on too.

In other news, I've reached 50 days clean! So excited and thankful to Hashem. 

Today was almost the day I finally acted out. I had access, was alone and just in a scenario that I used to fall in constantly. I somehow managed to hold myself back and I thank Hashem for helping me! Over 60 days clean now and keeping the fight going.

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 05 Mar 2020 02:21:

It's great that Boruch Hashem you pulled through. What's your plan for next time you are very triggered? Also is there a geder you can make that at least for the meantime you won't be alone with an unsafe device?

Still struggling. I've had a really difficult week in terms of temptation. Started watching / slipping several times. I held back from acting out and in that way convinced my Yetzer Hora that watching was pointless and was able to stop. But the habits are hard to kick and it's not been an easy couple days.

In response to your question @HashemHelpMe, I do know what triggers me and recently have been in unavoidable territory a lot. You did make me think about what my 'plan' should be when triggered, and I'm still working on that. 

BH what I can say for the moment is I've stayed clean from acting out and thank Hashem for all His Nisyonos and all His help. Onwards and upwards.

A suggestion - A good chaver from here can be very helpful. The accountability aspect is powerful, plus you will iyh hear the words of chizuk and encouragement that can pull you through a tough matzav. Continued hatzlocha.

Fightingaddictionnow wrote on 13 Mar 2020 09:12:

Hi
If I may suggest, the SMART recovery program has a good tool for dealing with temptations.

I:t is called "HALT the BADS"
HALT: Hunger, Anger, Loneliness, Tiredness
BADS: Boredom, Anxiety, Depression, Stress

Ask yourself: "Have I noticed the feelings of HALT or BADS result in an urge? Do I have an example to share and how it affected me? What were my thoughts? What did it make me want to do? How did I deal with it?"

Recognizing and dealing with hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness can help you identify and change some less obvious conditions that can cause urges. Other conditions or emotions like boredom, anxiety, depression and stress can also be a source of cravings and urges. If you learn to recognize these states when they’re happening, it can give you the power to address them before they lead to urges.

Then Ask yourself: "How have I successfully dealt with these?"
Suggestions:
Eating, calming down, calling a friend and getting rest can help with HALT.
Doing something fun, something that occupies your mind, doing something simple for others and doing something relaxing can help with BADS.
When an urge surfaces and you’re not sure why, try to figure out if you’re feeling HALT OR BADS. If you are, you might go for a walk, drink a cup of tea, read a book, eat a healthy snack, take a nap, call a friend, paint the kitchen, etc. If you experience any of these, do what you can to deal with them. 

If you have trouble identifying your triggers, keeping an urge log can help a lot. An urge log is a table with the following columns:

• Date / time
• Strength of urge (1-10)
• Length of urge
• What triggered my urge
• Where/who was I with
• How I copied and my feelings about coping
• Alternative activities/substitute behaviors.

By keeping such a log for a few days, you can start identifying your triggers, and update your plan as needed.

Hey fighitngaddictionnow,

This thread gives me so much chizzuk! It seems like you have hit a tough patch, but that just means Hashem is giving you an opportunity to really strengthen yourself and commit to getting clean again!

Please keep posting often and also try to come up with a good geder to prevent being in situations with too much access. 

Hashem loves you!