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just some haros on my process
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: just some haros on my process 1599 Views

just some haros on my process 29 Oct 2019 16:17 #344653

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this is the first time i am writing about my quest for 90
i am at 41
it is hard for me to share my expiriances but i know that even just writing them down will give me chizuk
at about day 20 i realized that i could look at women including my wife and my first thought wasn't i wanted to lie with them.
this also strengthens my marriage as i can spend time with my wife and be focused on her and not on me.
the urges have been up and down although they are mostly much more down than up.
on day 39 i had what i thought was an amazing thought that which i wouldn't think possible when still immersed in porn and masturbation never experience. i was walking in the street and a porn scene popped into my head and my first reaction was that is disgusting.
this natural human reaction is still in us even if we cover it up with dirt.
still every day i have the potential to fall and many days are a real struggle.

Re: just some haros on my process 30 Oct 2019 03:19 #344680

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Great post! 

Keep it up! 

Re: just some haros on my process 31 Oct 2019 23:17 #344809

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i am emotionally down
i usually either get most areas in my life going good or bad
i messed up on my diet yesterday and now the last thing left is my 43
i had a couple times today the desire to masturbate i used the "surfing process" and i realized that most of the time i didnt even have a desire for something sexual i was just trying to escape.

Re: just some haros on my process 05 Nov 2019 20:36 #344923

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yeah i messed up

start over although i think i will have an easier time this time around

i tried sharing my emotions with my wife and got the opposite of support.

i wasn't even doing it bc i was overwhelmed by desire . i just needed to do something to take my mind of off the emotional turmoil i was going thru.

well here we go staring now.....beh hope to keep updating and get to 90 this time

Re: just some haros on my process 06 Nov 2019 20:39 #344946

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i was more aware of my wife's sexuality than usuall when just talking to her.
not as much as when i started but more so than last week

Re: just some haros on my process 14 Nov 2019 20:11 #345149

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thank you all for viewing my posts
i think i decided to first focus on porn with a side focus on masterbation not sure if this is the best option but it seems that i should focus on the one that has the potential to destroy my marriage first. besides that is the one that i feel is less frequent and therefor easier to get to 90.
i realize now that 90 isn't a magic # and you are safe.
not that i am not trying for the masturbation but i have one counter for now and will start with viewing porn.
i feel that i need to come back to this site for more frequent chizuk i have signed up for the daily emails i hope that will help
if you have any comments please post
thank you

Re: just some haros on my process 14 Nov 2019 20:20 #345150

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90 days is just an incentive.

For the rest of your life, you have to take it day by day, and sometimes hour by hour or ten minute block by ten minute block.

Do not be hard on yourself...be nice to yourself.

Acknowledge your emotions, but you do not have to act on them.

Re: just some haros on my process 15 Nov 2019 18:21 #345166

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thank you
day 3
its definitely an easier day 3 than my last so that's good

Re: just some haros on my process 18 Nov 2019 00:40 #345195

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I had a long time in bed today thinking about others
i came on this site to find some options I foun

In addition to this method, if I felt that I couldn't mentally shake myself away from illicit thoughts, I would imagine one of three things: either the illicit image in my mind suddenly became digusting (in my case I chose the mental image of maggots erupting from the body), or I would imagine the same thing done to my own body, or an image of what they would do to me in Gehinnom if I continued to waste seed. If for some reason I couldn't shake the illicit thoughts, then I forced myself to get up from my bed and start to walk around/go to the bathroom/release my pent up energy. I only returned to bed after making sure I was no longer aroused
i hope to try it
still going strong at 6 days
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