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Exclusive Guide for the 90 Days Challenge
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Exclusive Guide for the 90 Days Challenge 975 Views

Exclusive Guide for the 90 Days Challenge 17 May 2019 03:42 #341248

  • YeshivaBoy555
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With Hashem's help, here I bring a series of Chizukim suitable for everyone who tries to make this 90 day Challenge.

I would like to do it with a Daily basis of Shiurim, made by me or extracts from other books, so that you can help yourself and not fall for the temptations of the Yetzer Hara.

Here you can find Shiurim, Chizukim, nice explanations, and survival techniques in this world full of immodest sights.

Without further ado, let's start:

Day 1 

Do you feel that the Yetzer is taking over your life? That you can no longer control what you do, even if you try not to last long and fall back?

Maybe you feel Depressed by this situation, maybe you think you can not beat the Yetzer Hara, but it's not like that.

Hashem is the one who sends us these tests, to see if we are really willing to fight for Him,
It is written that Hashem only sends Nisiyonot that we can pass, since obviously he would not send us something that we could not pass.

And believe me that He loves us, and wants to see how willing you are to improve yourself as a person, to start being a Soldier of Hashem.

And the worst thing that can happen to you is after sinning, thinking that you are a sinner, and that Hashem does not love you, and what you have done is useless ...
The Yetzer comes to make you dizzy so you do not continue what you do, because he knows you're winning, and he tries to do the impossible to keep you in the position you are.
But with the help of Hashem, everything can be done.

If you want to stop thinking that, keep in mind each moment of those:

Maybe your Yetzer Winned you. Maybe you loosed  the battle, but no the War.Your Yetzer will bother you saying: "You are the worst, Hashem hates you". But isn't true. Hashem loves you more than all of us. Hashem knows that the Yetzer Hara wins you, but, if you pray, He will save you. If you win only one battle, if you give up your lust, Hashem will reward you Millions and billion times more than a Tzaddik, Because "In the place where a Baal Teshuva stands, a Tzaddik cannot stand". It does not compare a tzaddik that didn't taste the sin, that a person that has already tasted the sin, and beats the Yetzer Hara.So, keep fighting and, don't forget: Keep praying. Show to Hashem that you Want to change, and Hashem will help you.

Day 2

Do you want the Rambam´s definition of a Baal Teshuva?For example: A person that is struggling with "some images", or with prohibited women (Arayot) and decided to not fall and make the sin, is in the path, but is not considered a real Baal Teshuva.So, how I can be a real Baal teshuva?, you will ask.The answer is: When a person is in the same situation of before, with the same Nisayon, with the same desire to sin, and do not sin because he wants to be a Baal Teshuva, because he has fear of heaven (Yirat Shamayim), then it is called a Baal Teshuva Gmur (Complete Baal Teshuva). The Rambam says that if the person was in the exact situation, and he didn't sin., now is called a Real Baal Teshuva.
And remember that a Replica of an earthquake is worst than the earthquake itself.
So the yetzer will test you in the exact situation of before,  And he´ll try to make you sin, since it is what defines whether you are Baal Teshuva or not.
You have the power not to sin.

Hatzlacha Raba,
Shabbat Shalom

Day 3

The Rambam Says in Halachot Teshuvah:
There are 5 things that are almost impossible to stop doing, therefore the person should get away as much as possible from them, so as not to get stuck.
One of them is: "Hamistakel BaArayot" (The one who watches women). Since, when the person does this, it becomes a habit.
So we Must stop now, before we can't go back.
Therefore, Chazal says: "Kol Hatchalot Kashot" (All the beginnings are difficult), I mean that at first it gets very difficult, but afterwards it is quite simple.

But I heard an explanation from a friend quite the opposite: The beginning is always simple. Its not hard to start not seeing women, to put tefillin, to pray, etc. The difficult it is to follow that beginning. Starting is very easy. The Yetzer will let you start, and then he will constantly bother you. After that, what is difficult is to keep what you have planned, and try not to do it again.

If you pitifully fall, nothing happens, just ask Hashem for forgiveness and reinforce yourself with More Yirat Shamayim and Mussar.
Therefore, do not look at everything now as: Now I cannot see women, I cannot do anything anymore, the Torah forbids everything ... No! Look at it as a new way of life:
Hashem does not want me to do this, He is the one who sends me health, life, money, family, etc.
Every second, I must fulfill what he asks us.

It is compared to a king who gives an order to one of his closest slaves.
Whether it could be something very necessary or not, if he does not comply, the king will send him to the gallows at once.
Lehavdil, The same Hashem.
Really, what is it for me to take care of my sight, to put on Tefillin, to eat Kasher, etc? 
He ordered it,  And we, his closest and dearest slaves, must fulfill their Will.

Shavua Tov.

Day 4

Hashem knows that we are humans, that we make mistakes. The fact that we sinned or we listened to the Yetzer Hara, does not mean that now Hashem does not love you anymore, or hates you. Thats the difference between a Tzadik and a Rasha. The Rasha  becomes depressed and stops praying, thinks it is the worst and that it will never be like before. But, the Tzadik takes advantage of that situation,and use it to get higher.
You can think that Hashem hates you and does not want your tefilot and your Torah, or you can see it like this:
Unfortunately, my Yetzer won; He wants me to get depressed now and stop doing mitzvot, since that is the second step. I must be more intelligent than him and I will reinforce myself with Mussar, Chizuk, and I will take care of being prepared for the next battle.

Normally, when we feel guilty about something, our reaction is to feel bad, like to "Fix" the act. Since, if someone did something bad and feel good about it, it would be weird.

Okay. But, what do I do After feeling guilty?

The Torah says that feeling bad after a feeling of guilt is the person's main enemy. Obviously, there is a good guilt, since, if you were not conscious of what you do, you would never change.
The most important thing is that you do after: Collapse, or use it as a "trampoline" to climb higher.

I also remember, when I was also struggling, at the beginning, when I fell I collapsed completely.
I imagined that Hashem thought about me, that it was the worst, how I can pray in front of Hashem as I am. But, BH, after Shiurim and Mussar, I used that situation to go higher.

I remember as I asked Hashem in the Amidah: "Hashem, today I sinned again, but help me so that after this I do not collapse and I can climb higher". Of course it was not very easy, but only that way I was able to leave and BH came out of the addiction.

But, returning to you, what the Torah wants from you is that you behave at least as you did before sin, and so you repair it. If you think: "I no longer deserve to study Torah, I do not deserve to pray to Hashem", if you "punish" yourself, you will never succeed.
Also I personally asked the Gaon Rabbi Yoseph Peretz Shlita: What do I have to do to repair what I did, since I heard that I had to fast and decrease in pleasures, etc.
Do you know what he told me? "Nowadays, only increase in Torah study and thats all. "If you studied half an hour, study one hour".
We have it easy now. Before, you had to fast, now only study Torah.
That is the power of the Torah.

 We know that everything comes from Hashem. The person can say: "Hashem, Why you sent me this?" But the  person does not see that Hashem only sends good things. If Hashem had not sent you that, you would never have discovered "Tools" that until now were hidden inside you. Use that Tools to increase your efforts battling the Yetzer. Use it as a Trampoline to go Higher, and not to go deeper.
And remember: Hashem loves you. Maybe you sinned, maybe you didn't do what Hashem wants, but that doesnt mean that Hashem stopped loving you.

So, I hope that Beezrat Hashem this will help you. And do not forget: King Solomon wrote in Mishle: "The Tzaddik falls 7 times, and Gets Up". Take this opportunity that Hashem gave you to rise in your Spiritual Level!!

Day 5

My friend, you should know that when the person decides to do something good, for example, beginning to be Shommer Shabbat, put on Teffilin, or in your case, beginning to take care not to see women, etc. The Yetzer goes crazy.
He knows that one of his soldiers from his army is leaving. He will try to bombard you by telling you: Look, you have bad thoughts. You are useless, all your Torah and your Mitzvot are useless. but in truth, you are winning, and he does everything possible to depress you.

One of the things that helps is to study Mussar. That helps the person to become stronger.

Another thing is to be surrounded by Tzaddikim, Kosher people. The person is influenced by their surroundings. If you are surrounded by bad people who put bad ideas in your head, it is like putting alcohol in front of an alcoholic, expecting to him to not drink it.

The most productive thing is to pray to Hashem to clean your mind, that do not bring you bad thoughts. We are not angels, we cannot be perfect, we cannot control our thoughts. But, we are obligated to make our best.

If Hashem sees that we want to do the best we can, we will have extra help. We must be very careful with thoughts, especially with those of this type, as the Gemara says: Hirure Avera Kashin meAvera (The thoughts of "that Sin" are worse than Sin himself).

also on the subject of dreams, if you dream bad things, it can be: Since you are rising in spirituality, and the Yetzer envies you and tries to make you fall in wherever, or: Because as you see women all day, you even dream in they.
And in the bathroom, on the contrary! the Yetzer tries to make you think Torah, which is forbidden! The Yetzer in the bathroom is a Big Rabbi.

So, in summary, the best thing you can do is study Mussar, especially on this subject of Shemirat Enaim. Personally I recommend Shaar Hateshuva of Orchot Tzaddikim, both in Hebrew and English.. also study it with Chavruta or aloud, so that it reaches your heart.

But above all, make Tefilah to Hashem. Ask him to take away the bad thoughts, to purify your mind. If you can, cry. But show him you want to change. Believe me, it will not be an easy fight, but great efforts lead to great things. And remember: The Mishna in Avot says: "Lefum Tzaara Hagra" (According to the effort, the reward is greater). So, go and prove to Hashem and the Yetzer: I have changed; I am not the same as before, Im more Kadosh.

כי נפלתי קמתי כי אשב בחושך השם אור לי
"When I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, Hashem will be a light to me".
Last Edit: 21 May 2019 03:50 by YeshivaBoy555.
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