This is where I'm going to be posting updates of my 90 day challenge. This is the first time I have attempted this challenge. The reason it's so important for me to accomplish this is because I need to prove to myself that I have self-control, I need to stop wasting hours and hours each day doing nothing, I need to do a full reboot because my p**** is out of wack, I have so much i want to do and waste all my time on garbage. I'm not sure if I continue the program after 90 days, but I need to have the limit on 90 days, so there's an end in sight, and i'll beable to push through. I'm approaching this from secular reasons because religious guilt doesn't work for me. i had stumbled across this site last year, but only after i stumbled across r/nofap on reddit did I decide to do this challenge, and i came back here. so I'm not sure why the jewish guilt doesn't result in action, but the reasons I wrote up above do and that's why I need to complete this challenge.

I have Since I understand how the site works only now, I'm starting from day 3. (day 1 is under introducing myself, and day 2 is called "compulsion")

So it's the end of day 3 right now, and I haven't had any real urges. I've been keeping my hands away, and my eyes guarded. The hardest part right now is fomo. there are so many photos that I will never beable to see from instagram, because all the status's get deleted after 24 hours. And I used to spend (like last week lol) hours each day just screenshotting the perfect pictures cause. And also im scared for when i get a real urge cause I know how hard controlling urges are 

End of day 4

Not that bad yet. There were multiple times where I felt the need to put my hands in my pants, out of habit (my hands resting place is in my pants, which is insane, I mention more about this is a previous post "compulsion"), but since it wasn't sexual, it wasn't so hard to stop myself. 

I was very bored today, and thinking back, all i did on sundays is go on social media, moslty instagram, binge watch shows, maybe do some college work, but for a majority of the time I would pleasure myself. So with social media deleted and my 90 day challenge underway, I have had lots of free time. I need to find something to fill up the time. I know how bad it is to have free time because i can fall into my old habits. Maybe I'm gonna start exercising, since ive wanted to do that for a while. But i was very bored today. It's crazy how ingrained this stuff is in my day to day activities, so I need to make it to 90 days so I "reboot".

For many years, the default location of my hands was in my pants, and especially if I was feeling even slight sensations of stress. When learning, if I couldn't figure out pshat quickly enough, there my hands went. All the tension in my body went there.... and the rest was history... Similarly, when bored, my hands just found their way down there. Even now, from time to time I catch myself subconsciously heading in that direction. Habits are difficult to shake. However after joining GYE, I learned tools how to get past it b'ezras Hashem. Iyh you will too. Hatzlocha.

Hatzlocha.

Today is also a good time to "reboot", you know.

When I say "reboot" I am referring to the fact that it takes 90 days to rearrange the brain's neurons, so of course I am in the process of rebooting right now, but only once I make it to 90 days have I actually "rebooted"

End of Day 5

Going a little crazy. I haven't had any major urges since I began the challenge, but I am desperate to have the urge. Like I can't focus because I need the pleasure. And I can't relax because my relax position is with my hands in my pants. I'm also scared for when I do get big urges, because I know that it's gonna take so much self-control to stop it and so much effort. I know ill be able to control myself, but also that it will take a lot of energy. I'm so addicted, I MUST make it to 90 days!

Hey role model Congratulations on taking the challenge. May you achieve that and more in peace of mind. Does it help you to count day by day or would it be better if you just leave it and check in every now and the. Different strokes for different folks.. 

rolemodel wrote on 02 Apr 2019 01:40:

Instead of going crazy, accept the reality that it will be tough to break an ingrained habit, and that in the beginning there will be a special challenge of withdrawal. If you come to terms with that and are at peace with the fact that there will be urges, but those urges do not define who you are, you will iyh be able to pull through. Who are you really? A tzaddik who is putting shame and embarrassment on the side and reaching out for help with an issue that unfortunately many people are struggling with. Posting here defines you, not an urge....

End of day 6

So during the day, my motivation to do this goes down slightly, but when I come back to this site, it comes back strong. I need to make it to 90 days! I need to break my addiction to instagram (I know i havent broken it yet until i hit 90 days) and to youtube.

I have had so much more time to do what I need. Also, since I have stopped masturbating (not even for a second), I haven't had any urges. I know that I was never able to make more than a couple days without a huge urge to ejaculate, but maybe that was because I was always masturbating.

I feel like I am a new person, and things I couldn't control before and I had lost the battle before I started, I now feel that I have won the battle before I started.

Its great that you have had a great and determined start. Be aware that most people get hit by some withdrawal symptoms as time goes on and their subconscious mind wants "the fix". It is normal and to be expected. Having an urge does not make someone bad. Don't make the mistake because the urge comes that it means you have slipped. Similarly don't get shaken up by anything that happens while you are asleep; that is also the work of the subconscious, and it eventually dies down too.

Your understanding to remove yourself from instagram shows how serious you are. It is something a lot of people try to avoid doing, and unfortunately for many it is the cause of falls. By posting, you are inspiring others to inconvenience themselves a bit in order to really b'ezras Hashem get better. May Hashem give you continued hatzlocha.

What's crazy is that i never wouldve imagined that I would be able to not use instagram for over a day, but I just deleted it and committed and here I am now at one week

End of day 7

I had an exam and I felt while I was studying for it, and even when I was taking it that Hashem would help me do well because of my 90 day challenge. It's a relieving feeling that I haven't felt for a while. So when i got stuck on the exam I was able to keep calm because I knew I had a guardian. I didn't do as well as I would've liked but I couldve done much worse. 

I still have a perfect streak of not breaking any of my rules (I haven't viewed anything stimulating, masturbated, and a bunch of other rules). I'm gonna get to 90 days so I do a full "reboot" and break my addiction

Great work an inspiration.
From my own personal experience, me wanting to reach 90 days clean led to a fall on day 91.
​I have reached 90 many times and I still struggle on a much lower level.
My goal now days, is to be and stay sober. for 10, 20, 50 or how much it may be.
It takes 90 days to break a habit, but that doesn't mean that on day 91 you are cured.

Keep it up

rolemodel wrote on 04 Apr 2019 00:04:

Hey dude. It's inspiring that you are so devoted. I just wanted to let you know my day 90 the first time I ever did that I think, was probably the absoulte worst day of my life. I can't go into details but it was the worst this that ever happened to me. IN anycase I stuck it through and still can not understand why Hashem made that happen to me on a day I was working so hard toward. _ BUt that is up to Him. For me, I held on to sobriety for a good few months aferward I think.. but ultimately fell right back into my old habits. Over the years I gradually grew back and more in sobriety But to be honest the point is more about living sober and clean than about the day  count. Are you enjoying being clean? If not why not? I f yes.. great.. keep enjoying it more adn more.. we do the things we enjoy most often.