BH,
First of all, that was a powerful post, and inspiring.
In terms of all of us being allergic to lust and addiction levels,
maybe in this area there is such a natural taiveh, that chazal deemed it appropriate to make certain harchakos and therefore we may not stare at, walk behind, speak too much with, sit in between, or hear women sing. There are probably some more as well. Either way, some people may have this taiveh at different levels, but we can't really figure that out, so accepting chazal's rulings is the way to go. Especially when we see that we are being nichshal. Then, maybe we can take even more steps, but first let's be careful about all the prescribed medicine and see where that gets us.
Ok, enough of that banter.
I love the idea that you mention to connect emotionally with HKB"H. HUGE! ABSOLUTELY HUGE! AWESOME!!! I've been having a hard time with that as well, but I think of it a lot and when I don't, it's usually because I'm down about not feeling the connection.
Well, bhatzlacha raba!
And, you've been climbing uphill and are for sure still on track. Your 40 days have not left you with nothing. Don't let the y"h convince you of such narishkeit!