GEVALDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

KEEP IT UP MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

KEEP ON TRUCKING

NO
MATTER
WHAT!!

May I say that I can clearly see your improvement day to day.
It's obvious from your posts that your doing well.
Take a look at what they used to look like a month ago.

Thanks guys.

Today was a day of LOTS of learning. The yeshiva I'm working in gives plenty of opportunity to go to shiurim, so today I spent the first half of the day on here and more or less the second half at the shiurim. I'm in pain, dunno why, but it seems that my pain in general is improving...  One shiur tonight was about shovavim and the dangers in college... very appropriate...

Ok... sleep time ( albeit a bit late...  good thing Friday in Israel is the day off...)

שבת קודש!

BecomeHoly wrote on 28 Jan 2010 23:47:
Have a great shabbos!! Your here in the holyland?? did you know aboutour get togethers from time to time?? ( pm me for more detalis )

Sorry about the pain. Hope it gets better. :-\  Shabbos hi milizok v'refuah krovah lavo!

Pain went away. I hope for good :-)

and yup, I have finally returned... it so good to be back :-) This time I have been clean since before arriving, hopefully I wont have a case of being spit out because of my sins. God will help me stay :-)

ye... heard about the get togethers... nto sure what to do. As I've mentioned I'm unsure about me being an addict. I have made changes in my life which dealt with my underlying problem and I hope that will keep everythign else in check. To "out" myself by visiting one of these get togethers maybe a little premature, as I'm not quite in a stage where the benefit ouitweighs the non-benefit. IN any case it may be a bad move to go, considering I've been on gue only a month or so and I have yet to determine the nature of this issue and to what extent to deal with it. Anonymity may be a better idea considering I am still in shidduchim and I am also a madrich in a yeshiva where this may be a problem....

So although I'd LOVE to go, I think it would be jumping the gun so to speak. ;-/

But its all for the best :-) שבת שלום!

Whatever makes you comfy fits with us!! Well miss you though. Its not as bad as many think. And as everyone else has said; they think theyve gained tremendously from it. But im all with you. If you dont feel you need thats fine!!!

Have a great shabbos!!

P.S. im n ot sure someone needs to be an addict to gain from such a thing.

Theres no doubt that I would benefit from it. However, I don't think it would be a good risk to take right now...


Shabbos was great! I spent it for the most part at a yeshiva, and there was great ruach, and davening was rocking, and we had a 5 hour long tu beshvat seder. I'm somehow managing to find a kumzitz in any case :-D  (but more is only better..)

Anyway, saturday night... shabbos has left and I have an empty feeling in me. I'm looking for fun. But theres none to be had. The fun is bad for me. I will not watch a movie. Or a tv show. Or worse. I will not waste my time "hanging out" with random people. I will type more hebrew for GYE. I will listen to a shiur. I will take a shower. I will go to sleep. Tommorow will be a productive day! And it starts tonight!

wish me luck...

Gut voch!!
May your inspiring shabbos overflow to affect your whole week!
For me, the emptiness feeling, that, btw,
i am so familiar with, means that that i have a deep desire to remain connected,
to hold on to that kedusha, and that is a powerful desire,
so let's feel it and bring kedusha into the week.

Ok so im wishing you luck!!! Good luck!!!

Yes MS was and is always the hardest time of the week for me. we need to find something kosher and fun to do. Its hard but its important. Ok have a great week and keep on rollin!

So nu...
Tell us how it went?

Thank God I made it. I ended up chilling w/ some guys discussing the big bang.  I realize that when I'm tired, but its too early in the night to go 2 sleep or I'll mess up my schedule.... then I get into these moods. Especially so on motzash. I need to be extremely careful w/ my schedule so this doesn't happen. I need to go to sleep on time, and get enough sleep, because if I'm at least not tired, I can go somwhere, do something... and stay out of trouble.

Anyway, today my stomach really bothering me, pretty tired, and my phone died so I had to get it fixed. Spent the first half of the day on that... but gam zu ltova - now my phone is working better than it was :-)

Ok... kutgw everyone :-)

Last night I failed. I gave in, and watched a tv show. It wasn't worth it at all. I will now describe all the negative aspects of it so I can try to ignore it better in the future. Please feel free to add your 2 cents (more like gold nuggets :-) )

1) It was a waste of time. I went to sleep nearly an hour and half later because of it because I had to wait for it to download. Twice. It failed half way through the first time. I need my sleep dearly, and this was only making it worse. When I'm tired I tend to drift towards bad activities. It is VERY dangerous for me.

2) It was inappropriate. Inappropriate topics that are triggering, and seductive women. EMPHASIZED! This is not innocuous or "good fun"  it is a big risk. TV does not mean it is "clean." In fact, TV these days is as dirty as it can get away with. STAY AWAY!

3) It did not make me feel any better or fill any void inside me. It only whet my appetite. Yes it was funny. But it shouldn't be. Those topics should not be up for discussion. Whetting my appetite means I could end up spending the next 8 hours watching movies. Its NOT worth it.

Ok guys, please add to the pile.

Anyone here?

Ok today was a tough day. Quite a few annoyances today - especially w my computer. Annoyances like my computer crashing within 3 minutes of turning on.  God is reminding me that it JUST AINT WORTH IT. All I did was watch a TV show and look what happened. S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G, I hope to not take it to the next level. I've been very much working on making lust "below my bechira point." As soon as a thought enters my mind, I instantly say to my Y"H - What do you think you're doing? This is not up for discussion. I'm not going to debate it or anything. Just get out.

I'm at 20 days. Tough times are coming. But again, as in the story w/ the Rebbe, in my house, I have the right to ignore knocking - I don't even have to open the door.

BTW I want to clarify for everyone, that I'm not "be holy"  - that was someone else ( I just found an old thread..).