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This is going to be the time I get to 90!

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 49954 Views

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 26 May 2020 00:00 #350370

hakolhevel
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 25 May 2020 11:41:

REM, beautiful and intelligent post. Mazel tov on your accomplishment. May Hashem help you continue.

I found there is actually an empty feeling that crops up as we progress past certain milestones. Firstly, the loss of that high adrenalin/dopamine pumping experience - which we went from 0 mph to 100 mph in seconds - is simply not replaced. Exercise, while replacing it to some extent, takes time and effort - it does not have that immediate bang. For those of us who are married, real sex, although a very satisfying and incredible experience (a much better one than a computer can ever portray), also does not move at that speed. We also "lose out" on the ability to be hyper-focused on something. There is enjoyment in being completely, with every part of the body literally, living an out of body fantasy experience. It is a lifelong job to attain that hyper-focused "searing onto the brain" experience in Torah or Tefillah, so for most of us, except at rare occasions, like Neila, we cant find a kosher replacement for that "fantasy" (for lack of a better word) experience.

Regarding urges, our Chazal in all generations have made it clear we will have them for life. Do not feel bad about urges. It is in our natural makeup. There are many halachos specifically targeting these urges, be it yichud, or tznius in dress. I agree that one should do his best to avoid fantasizing because besides being assur, it is just a tease. At some point you will have to stop or else....However, don't beat yourself up about urges! Many of us equated urges with actions and deduced incorrectly "If I am any way a lowlife for still having urges after working so hard at this, I may as well just act out..." Without realizing this fact that urges are here to stay, it is easy on day 91, or 366 to be so frustrated - "Now what?! When will this ever end?!" - that it will create problems.

Hatzlocha buddy. Keep inspiring.

That first point is very insightful. Thanks

My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 27 May 2020 03:39 #350457

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	Thank you! That is some really deep stuff! I am going to have to chew that over a bit, but it definitely makes a lot of sense.
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 27 May 2020 11:30 #350466

justanotherguylikeyou OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 8 Karma: 1	Realestatemogul, Kudos on your 9th day! You absolutely can get to 90! One day at a time and challenges are really just opportunities of growth in disguise Keep us updated holy brother! Hatzlacha!

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 04 Jun 2020 03:15 #350739

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	BH on day 182! Since we have been focusing on 30 day increments, next goal (from 180) is 210...
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 04 Jun 2020 04:00 #350741

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	183!!! How's the clarity of thought? Must feel so good <3
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 05 Jun 2020 03:56 #350812

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	B''h decent, but only as clear as it could be down on planet earth...
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 02 Jul 2020 00:05 #352106

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	210. Shooting for 240 now. Just keep trucking, just keep trucking, just keep trucking... I am always looking for new ideas to help me along, so if anyone has anything feel free to drop a line.
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 02 Jul 2020 00:36 #352107

Captain
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Check out The Battle of the Generation (guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation). It's a very uplifting book that covers many aspects of the battle, all in a wise, sensitive, and positive way. Try reading two pages a day! It works for lots of people.

In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 02 Jul 2020 22:54 #352133

Shnitzel and kugel
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Realestatemogul wrote on 02 Jul 2020 00:05:

210. Shooting for 240 now.

Reaching 210 is so awesome!! That's 7 months!! What a lion, especially because you have no outlet!!

Joined as a single bochur, Bh broke free (but still on watch) by using the tools on this website, therapy but mainly through getting married.

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)

ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 03 Jul 2020 13:05 #352176

Snowflake Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 272 Karma: 26	Mazal Tov REM!! Please keep inspiring us!!
	אם יהיו חטאיכם כשנים, כשלג ילבינו

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 21 Jul 2020 03:47 #352799

realestatemogul
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229. This is tough stuff - but BH we are still staying strong.

I want to remind myself for a second why I spend so much effort on this whole thing...

1) We are here for just a short while and after that we go somewhere else....
2) I want my time in the next world to be super special
3) Any unallowable "pleasure" I get in this world will take away from my place in the next world.
4) Lust takes away my ability to get closer to Hashem
5) Addiction is destructive
6) Lust inhibits my ability to have healthy relationships with others

Thats enough for now. I think I am convinced!

Thanks for listening

Check out my thread

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 22 Jul 2020 04:35 #352862

Ihavestrength
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Realestatemogul wrote on 21 Jul 2020 03:47:

REM!!! Keep up the great work and keep inspiring us! My two cents (what came up for me when I read this) is that this is all good stuff, but I think we need to do our part to channel this part of ourselves in the way Hashem intended. So for a married person this will mean one thing, and for a single person it may be pursuing shidduchim. Anyways, keep on rocking! Hope the above had some relevance.

If you are really bored, you can check out my original thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/305558-Journey-of-one-day-at-a-time

"Think good and it will be good!"

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 23 Jul 2020 02:53 #352916

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	Totally agree with your statements above! If I sounded super radical in avoiding "pleasure" in this world, I was really just trying to focus on bigger picture purpose of the world. I still eat tons of ice cream, lol
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 04 Aug 2020 03:41 #353320

realestatemogul Current streak: 1290 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 398 Karma: 29	You may wonder why at 243 days I am still posting on my getting to 90 thread...? The answer is that I am still working on "getting to 90." This is my thread of breaking free and since it is a life's work, I am still continuing to work on "getting to 90." I daven that Hashem continues to help me and everyone on GYE succeed on "getting to 90!"
	Check out my thread guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/334915-This-is-going-to-be-the-time-I-get-to-90%21

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 07 Aug 2020 07:03 #353473

doitformyself OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 35 Karma: 2	I’m a few days into my journey now and really want this! I’m giving it all I got! Thanks everyone for all that you write, it gives me a lot of chizuk.