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This is going to be the time I get to 90!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 11637 Views

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 22 Mar 2019 19:57 #339893

Hey! Realestatemogul you still alive??
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, part of a bi weekly 12 step phone call BH and I meet my gye accountability partner face to face once a week. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 24 Mar 2019 04:15 #339910

  • Realestatemogul
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#223

Wow its been way too long since I visited...

BH I still can say I am clean even though my yetzer hara wants me to say that it can't be true. 

Today was a tough day, so I came on to reconnect a little. It is only through this amazing platform that I was able to overcome the addiction I had. It's crazy thinking back now how only #223 days ago I would just thirst on anything immoral I could think or see. That's not to say that I  don't want or think about it anymore, but I can safely say it doesn't control my life the way it used to. With Hashems help I hope to continue to stay strong, clean and kadosh.

Thank you Schnitzel for thinking of me. I hope your doing well!

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 31 Mar 2019 05:46 #340211

  • Realestatemogul
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#230

It's been tough, BH. It's amazing how it is still just as much as a struggle after being clean for so long. The only thing that makes it easier is the solid foundation that helps and knowing that you are keeping something amazing going.

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 31 Mar 2019 22:35 #340219

  • privatep
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Welcome back as you know the GYE family is here to support you and help you reach this goal i have only been apart of this for a week and staying true to the life long challenge using gye has made me feel like a different person already. Stick with we will be here along the journey with you. 

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 24 Apr 2019 20:30 #340729

Can you show off your still clean?
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, part of a bi weekly 12 step phone call BH and I meet my gye accountability partner face to face once a week. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 28 Apr 2019 22:00 #340758

  • Realestatemogul
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Hey S&K, thanks for keeping tabs on me

Wow today has been a rough day. 

One of those no structure days when no one else is around. Also, when the one thing I have planned to do today is really boring.

While I had some close calls, I can still report that I am clean, BH!

I came on just to try and get some chizuk, but I guess the best chizzuk is to write why I am on here in the first place....

258 days ago, I was still a slave to this urge and desire for anything shmutz. It took over my life and even when I was clean for a period of time it crept up to throw me back. I would get depressed from not being able to control myself and just feel disgusting that I paraded around as a very frum jew but I was doing something fundamentally assur. It was something for years I tried to rid myself of but could never seem to. Finally, I committed myself to using GYE as a tool to help break free and BH with the chizzuk from everyone on here and really reporting my progress I BH broke free. 

Now 258 days later, I still am having a rough day and I almost slipped twice .

BH I have a place to come to and reorient myself and what my real goals are about. That being said, I am going to go jog now and try and let off some negative energy. BE''H I will continue to stay clean and be the person I VERY much want to remain. Someone who stays true to torah values even in matters of kedushah. 

TYH

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 29 Apr 2019 03:24 #340760

  • higher
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were all rootin for ya, mate.
as youve proven 257 times, uve got what it takes.
thanks for being an inspiration to us all in general, and myself b'frat.
keep it up! 
if you need support relating to ur wife having sexual aversion and you are NOT an addict, feel free to pm me. ive picked up some advice along my own journey as well.
my thread:https:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/340817-I-AM-HIGHER-THAN-ALL-THIS!!!#340817
Last Edit: 29 Apr 2019 03:25 by higher.

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 05 May 2019 06:21 #340928

  • Realestatemogul
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#265 BH TYH

BH I can look back and see that even though I struggled on day 258, I see that it was all just an urge and no need. I will take that as a tool going forward that I can stay strong! (With Hashems help OBVS)

#Trucking

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 05 May 2019 19:39 #340936

איזהו גיבור זה realestatemogul

Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, part of a bi weekly 12 step phone call BH and I meet my gye accountability partner face to face once a week. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 14 May 2019 04:13 #341124

  • Realestatemogul
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Storytime!!!!

Mike lived in a far away country. He grew up in a small town in northern Sweden, where most of the year the ground was full of snow and the sun didn't shine. Every year the kids would be busy playing in the snow or trekking along on a pair of skis. Mike, however, was different. 

See, ever since he watched the summer Olympics as a young 6 year old and watched a couple of races and marathon he had a burning passion to run. Now you can imagine what it is like to become a runner in a country that prides itself in bobsledding and cross country skiing. Needless to say, Mike wasn't exactly in the best position to follow his dreams. 

The thing was that no matter how many people tried telling him he was crazy and he would never be an Olympic runner, he just kept on going. It wasn't always easy. In matter of fact, for most of his young life he just kept failing. He would try to enter local races and he would not even qualify as a participant due to his poor race times. He would often wonder why he thought he could do it, maybe everyone was right, maybe a Swedish man would never be the world's greatest runner. But year after year he kept pursuing his dream of being an Olympic runner....

Then, through his perseverance and dedication, he started to see real meaningful results. Mike started qualifying for races and actually making a name for himself among the running community. People would see him around races and smile at him, something that hadn't happened in years. Then as the months and years went by, he actually found himself placing in the top 3 race after race. Mike started to get a renewed strength and passion from all his success. He starting really believing he would realize his dreams of being the best in the world....

Then the day came. Many years had passed and he was finally on the stage he had dreamed about since being a little kid, the Olympic games. At that point he was actually the favorite to win a medal and many people thought he would take the Gold. The first two qualifying rounds were against people he had already beaten several times and he easily walked away in first place. 

He was now down to the last round before the championship race. As long as he finished in one of the top four places he would go on to the final championship race, the moment he had spent his whole life to be at. He wanted that Gold medal more than anything else in the world.

The race got off to a pretty good start and he took an early position in fourth. This would keep him enough ahead of the pack but still save energy for the last couple of laps. He knew his opponents well and had seen them take early leads only to lose energy and be outrun towards the end of the race. That's exactly what happened and as they were about halfway through the race Mike started to pull ahead. First he took the third position, then he inched over to second and maintained his strong lead. With about three laps to go he finally gave it all he got. Mike pulled away from the pack of runners and into first place. He had been down this road so many times and settled into a significant lead. Mike was about to go on to the final race and compete for a chance at a gold medal...

Then....against everything he had worked on these past few years, his legs gave way and he fell....One second he was on his way to a final and next second he is on the ground. Mike wasn't injured at all, but in his rush to make it to the finish line he let go of his training and lost focus. At those speeds and after such a long run, a very slight misstep can knock you off balance and send you to the ground. That's where Mike found himself...on the ground and not in the position he expected. Not after all the years of work and fighting to be where he was....

Mike wasn't about to give up. He quickly picked himself up and tried to get back in the race. So far only two other racers had pulled ahead and he still had a shot at the final, and ultimately the gold medal. He was a bit shaken from his fall but he tried with every bit of strength to maintain his speed and focus on that finish line. In his peripheral vision he could see the rest of the pack of runners closing in on him. As they neared the finish line, he gave it all he had. One other runner came ahead of him but he managed to finish in fourth place. Enough to qualify for the Gold medal. He still had his chance to fulfil his dreams....if his fall doesn't get in his way...

Mike had become one of the world's best runners. He was on a stage most people never even bother dreaming about, let alone actually reach. But, the thought of failure of not getting first place on this second to final race was hard to swallow. It was hard to watch the media coverage of his fall. Most importantly his coach was worried that this might overtake him and prevent him from performing his best in the gold medal race...

This is Mikes story.

This is also many people on GYE story as well. Tonight it is my story....

All my life I wanted to reach the level of getting past these issues. I so badly wanted overcome my addiction or strong lust if you prefer. To stop watching things that made me depressed or to act out and not feel nay better from it.

B"H! I made it to 272 whopping and amazing days!!! Days filled with kedusha and growth!!!

Then last night I fell. Not nearly as bad as what my old falls where, but a fall nonetheless. I lost my streak. I would have to come onto my forum page and tell everyone that I failed. I couldn't maintain this forever. Quite embarrassing no?

I think though everyone who read Mike's story would be thinking something different. Mike's story is merely to illustrate how the minor fall is just a trap to hold us back from getting the Gold medal. Mike may have fallen and finished fourth but he is very much still the favorite to win the Gold. 

This is what I will do. Pick myself back up and go for the Gold! I was also born in a far away country. I was born in a generation that shmiras aynayim isn't the favorite sport of the day. People laugh at us when they see us hiding from things that "seem" so normal to them. But when we pick ourselves up and work on ourselves, after all our hard work we will find a Gold medal around our neck and have a special place up in shamayim. Because although we may have fallen a few times, in the final race that matters most we came in first!

#Day 272 + Day 1


Thank you everyone for your support! You are the coach in the story and you are crucial in running this race!

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 14 May 2019 11:27 #341130

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GYE should post this masterpiece on the front page of the website!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 14 May 2019 15:30 #341141

  • Dave M
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That was a beautiful post.  Moved me to tears.  Thanks for the inspiration! 

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 15 May 2019 02:57 #341166

  • Realestatemogul
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Thank you HHM and Dave M! It really is credit to people like you that I am were I am today!

#Day 272 + Day 2

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 16 May 2019 03:07 #341197

  • Realestatemogul
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#Day 272 + Day 3

B"H another day in the books. 

Anyone have any tips for staying strong after falling post a very long streak?

Thanks GYE!

Re: This is going to be the time I get to 90! 16 May 2019 03:46 #341199

  • higher
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dont think i ever had such a streak (in times of struggle)

any tips for becoming like you??? 
if you need support relating to ur wife having sexual aversion and you are NOT an addict, feel free to pm me. ive picked up some advice along my own journey as well.
my thread:https:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/340817-I-AM-HIGHER-THAN-ALL-THIS!!!#340817
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