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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Starting again 6001 Views

Re: Starting again 04 Mar 2009 12:52 #3527

  • bs d
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well today is day 8
I thank you Hashem for giving me the strength to get so far! it gives me a big chizuk knowing that Guard said he will daven for us at his son's bris. i have never had anyone daven for my ruchniyos before!
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Re: Starting again 04 Mar 2009 14:55 #3533

  • battleworn
CHAZAK VE'EMATZ!!!
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Starting again 05 Mar 2009 12:56 #3553

  • bs d
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B"h today is day 9.
Davening to hashem for strength just to get through today. Thanking Him for the help he has given me until now, allowing me to get so far
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Starting again 07 Mar 2009 20:54 #3589

  • bs d
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B"h i've made it to day 11!
The y"h tried to get me this shabbos to fall- i had a confrontation with a friend and ended up feeling very angry with him and myself. But b"h i've calmed down and i will have to ask him mechila.
Looking forward to purim besimcha!
Last Edit: by Yael.

Re: Starting again 07 Mar 2009 21:40 #3590

  • the.guard
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Chart Updated!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by yidstruggling.

Starting again 09 Mar 2009 15:19 #3664

  • bs d
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B"h i'm at day 13.
Its tanis ester which is an eis rotzon and i wanna daven to Hashem that we should all be zoche to use purim to the utmost, and to truly be besimcha, and that we should be mekabel only the hashpoas tovos of this special day!
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Starting again 13 Mar 2009 00:36 #3742

  • bs d
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Today is b"h day 16!
I think i had a few negative experiences over purim, like talking to ladies when i was drunk, but b"h i didn't do anything wrong. Otherwise had a very uplifting purim, it felt good knowing i had been clean for 2 weeks!
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Re: Starting again 14 Mar 2009 18:03 #3754

  • the.guard
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You're on a roll bs"d!

I updated your chart.
Congrats on reaching Level 3!
12 more days to level 4!

Keep the light of Purim shining straight into the Seder night where we all leave Mitzrayim, and from there - onto Kabbalas Hatorah!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 14 Mar 2009 18:05 by .

Starting again 15 Mar 2009 00:02 #3771

  • bs d
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I just fell! I dunno what to do, I was having a great streak and now i have to start again!
It all started on thursday nite when i had a slip, i then slipped on friday and then now i just fell off the cliff! It feels devastating, i had such a great time being clean- felt so much more confident and now i feel terrible.
I know the y"h is making me feel down in order to make me fall again, but i just dont know how to get myself to the same level of confidence and satisfaction that i was feeling before.
Last Edit: by .

Re: Starting again 15 Mar 2009 11:53 #3777

  • the.guard
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You hit your previous record of 18 days! Now it's time to try and BEAT it. It's a process, Tzadik. All the times you said "no" to the Yetzer Hara for 18 days is not lost. He only won you ONCE and you won him 100's of times, you are winning this battle! Every "no" is yours forever, and they add up and ultimately will give you the strength to learn full control.

One of the most important yesodos in this struggle is NOT to get DOWN on yourself. This leads to a downward spiral. Feel regret, but not sadness. How can you tell the difference? Listen to this 5 minute audio clip from a Shiur by Rabbi Shafier.

Also, read Chizuk e-mail 296 and 297 on this page (scroll down).

Hashem makes us fall to show us we still have work to do. If we LEARN from the fall and make new fences and take new steps, then we uplift the fall to Kedushah! Isn't that amazing?

So what "breach" in the fence caused the fall? Do you have a strong filter? Can you do better with Shmiras Ainayim? Maybe make new kabbalos on yourself, for example to give yourself a pinch each time you look at something in the street that you know you shouldn't, or to give $50 to tzedaka each time you fall, etc... These things can help a LOT.

Let me know when you're 3 days clean so we can get you back up on the chart!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 15 Mar 2009 11:58 by .

Starting again 21 Mar 2009 23:24 #3938

  • bs d
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B"h today was day 2.
I think that with hashem's help i'm hopefully back on track. Looking forward to getting all the geshmak of staying clean. Wall of honor here we come!
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Starting again 23 Mar 2009 19:38 #3998

  • bs d
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Well b"h i'm at day 4.
I just will have to keep on staying strong in the face me the y"h. I tried making a vow for something and b"h that helped alot, i've got to renew it for this week- i only made  the vow for 1 week.
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Re: Starting again 23 Mar 2009 21:07 #3999

  • the.guard
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Very smart that you made the vow for a short time at first, but don't sit on your laurels. Even before the vow is up, if you see it is working for you then quickly make it for another week, maybe even two. Slowly you will learn which vows work for you best, and can be kept under all circumstances. You will write them down and make a list, slowly adding to the list new vows wherever you feel you need a fence... This is one of the most powerful tools to break free!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Starting again 24 Mar 2009 01:05 #4001

  • bs d
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Thanks guard for your reply!
I have bad news, i fell again. I'm finding it hard staying clean, being out of the Yeshiva framework- bein hazmanim. By the way even though i fell i still renewed my vow so i shouldn't fall in that area (my fall was caused by a different trigger which i also have to strengthen!)
I know its not right of me to blame the circumstances but it is much more difficult for me, since i'm used to the more sheltered life of Yeshiva. It just gives me more respect for the rest of u guys who are resisting the y"h in the unsheltered real world of tumah!
If any of u guys could give me tips i'd really appreciate it!
Last Edit: by .

Re: Starting again 24 Mar 2009 21:31 #4045

  • the.guard
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But you didn't break your vow, right? That's important.

Now here's a suggestion. Make a vow for a week to take a ten minute walk before each time you fall. See how that works for you.

If you are in Bein Hazmanim mode, you have to indeed be much more careful. Make a list of fences that you think you should make. Maybe make a neder for a week not to use the computer unless someone else is home, or in the room.

You need a PLAN. A Battle plan. You are up against a sly menuval. Make yourself a schedule for each day, with learning and things to keep you busy.

We are here for you. Keep posting (or better yet, stay away from the computer as much as you can :-)

Daven to Hashem for help. he really listens.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 24 Mar 2009 21:37 by .
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