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Almost at 90. Almost a fall!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 1686 Views

Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 07 Nov 2017 04:58 #322079

  • torahvelt613
  • Current streak: 598 days
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I was at 87 days and I had SUCH a strong urge just for a few small peeks. With Hashems help I was able to hold on (somehow). 
Whats next though? Is this fight never ending? Every time I failed, the next day I'd feel terrible but say "next time I fail.. whenever that is, I'll catch up on such and such " 
this time there's no "next time"
but I feel this will be a huge painful struggle forever! It's a huge load to bear! 
Any advice? 

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 07 Nov 2017 11:55 #322088

  • RobFloyd
  • Current streak: 818 days
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What did you do to get this far?

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 07 Nov 2017 14:45 #322098

  • Ftndrug
  • Current streak: 471 days
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Man you're awesome! 89 days, that's a lot!
im just a newbie here, but from what people say it should get easier but the fight goes on, and some day youll get to the next level of bchira, when it won't be to look or not to look at porn but something more delicate. Its like youre starting to be shomer shabbat. At the beginning you want to turn on the light for reading or have a smoke. Then its tiltul muktze or something like that. And so on. Plus im sure that there are times youre weaker than usual for different reasons so you have to keep your guards up.. 
stay strong and have tons of hatzlacha:]
"Esh tamid tukad al hamizbeah lo tichbe"
אם אין אני לי-מי לי? וכשאני לעצמי-מה אני.. ואם לא עכשיו.. אימתי??
nobody can save me now. Its do-or die.

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 08 Nov 2017 05:15 #322143

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 921 days
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Welcome. Do you speak with anyone from GYE or a therapist who deals with this? Personally that was very helpful for me.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 29 Nov 2017 05:19 #323072

  • Mynameis
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I am with torahvelt613. I was 30+ days in and couldn't handle it, then I thought will this ever end. Now that a eighty-niner is saying the same thing I don't know what to say. 

I would want to talk to somebody but I would like to keep it anonymous. 

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 30 Nov 2017 02:01 #323108

  • serenity
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I stopped fighting on October 19, 2014 and stayed sober for 5 months. On March 18, 2015 I decided to fight with lust again and I acted out. I stopped fighting again and have been sober since I surrendered on March 19, 2015 one day at a time. I can't fight with lust anymore than I can fight with Mike Tyson. I will lose every time. 

Wishing you all the blessings life has to offer. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 30 Nov 2017 02:05 #323109

  • serenity
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Mynameis wrote on 29 Nov 2017 05:19:
I would want to talk to somebody but I would like to keep it anonymous. 

You mean you would like to keep it secret, no? Secrecy is the one thing we fear most about giving up because it means we might have to give up our secret life of porn and masturbation. 

Hatzlacha
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Almost at 90. Almost a fall! 07 Jan 2019 03:53 #338250

  • torahvelt613
  • Current streak: 598 days
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Bh I’m over 500 days now. The struggle is still there but I take it day by day. The streak is one thing that is definitely helping 
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