Day 52: The beautiful spring came; and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also. -Harriet Ann Jacobs 

Ihavenostrength wrote on 03 Apr 2017 22:10:

I heard a vort that we read the parshios of Yetzias Mitzrayim in the winter because perhaps the spark of change occurs at the very darkest

Day 53: Worrying about a younger sibling of mine. I don't​ know if I could/should help him. 

why not?

Ihavenostrength wrote on 04 Apr 2017 13:17:

Wouldn't it depend on whose fault it is/was?

Trouble wrote on 04 Apr 2017 13:37:

Ask Trouble.

Ihavenostrength wrote on 04 Apr 2017 13:17:

What are the details?

Day 54: Something is weighing heavily on my mind. It's so easy to fall in the trap of worrying myself crazy. Important to remember that thinking is voluntary and it won't be productive to think ad nauseum. I wish it could be resolved already. Unfortunately it's taking some time. 

Day 55: One thing I'm learning is that most people don't want to hear the nitty gritty. They want the bare bones. Sometimes silence is just as companionable​.

Ihavenostrength wrote on 06 Apr 2017 20:36:

Most people are selfish and self centered.
Good thing we are not most people (apart from when we are selfish and self-centered-which is a lot of the time)

Thanks Growstrong, in truth I wasn't even talking about talking about GYE matters. I was just making a general observation of people's interest/attention span in my silly stories. Sometimes, I think people want to hear them, but in truth they don't and I'm trying to become sensitive to this. 

Ihavenostrength wrote on 07 Apr 2017 00:15:

Me too
As an obsessive thinker I identify with a lot of your deep thoughts and 'revelations'

Interesting thoughts written here. I'm not 100% sure if this is what you guys are talking about, but validation is a human need and people seek it and crave it whether they realize it or not. I utilize validation a lot for my jobs (I work with special needs children/teenagers) and I find it to be immensely helpful. My supervisor was the one who really showed me the beauty of it. So much so, that I use it all the time and with everybody, not just at work. People think that women are the only ones that crave it, but men need it also. I was just talking about this with my supervisor (who's a woman). I know for myself that when I feel accepted and understood (ie: validated) I feel very good. Even if I'm struggling, I know that someone else understands me and I'm not alone. With one of the autistic boys that I work with, I literally tell him how he's feeling because he has a very hard time expressing emotion. It works wonders with him. I use it with my father also, before I respond to him or disagree with him about something I validate him. It has helped me a lot in that area also. I'm realizing more and more that validation is a beautiful human experience. I picked my Sponsor because I felt incredibly validated when I spoke with him this past summer. I used to be terrible at this. I would jump into problem-solving mode right away or I would argue right away. It leaves the other party feeling bad about themselves. I forgot which thread exactly, it was in the SSA forum, in which I did a terrible job of validation. (It was strugglingtomakeit's thread). I could have gotten my point over in a much softer and understandable way if I first validated his concerns and how he felt. 

Thank you shlomo24. I find your posts thoughtful. Sometimes I don't need validation. Sometimes I'll tell someone a story (something that happened to me during the day) because I erroneously think they care. However, I'm perfectly fine not sharing it. I started realizing I'm actually happier talking less. Sometimes being connected with people, engaging, doesn't require much talking. It's much more about having a demeanor of openness and friendliness. To make it clear to the other person you care. 

Ihavenostrength wrote on 07 Apr 2017 14:06:

Definitely. When I met my sponsor he just had this look in his eye that said "I understand you" and he would gently bob his head up and down intermittently through the conversation. Those actions spoke very loud to me.