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Oh, this is from the Mishpacha! This isn't a personal story? (And I'm still lost).

This is the craziness going on in his real family that he cant fully explain in details to us....
Mayan, feel free to be in touch for direct support, i will give you my details via PM, you are in israel right.
Stay Strong!!! Don't let this bring you down!

thanks GS i think Shlomo was trying to lighten the mood thank you

Day 42
okaaaaaaaaaay
Hashem was listening boys disaster never happened as far as we are concerned nothing is happening 
thank you Hashem ​thank you Hashem ​thank you Hashem ​thank you Hashem ​thank you Hashem
and thank you to my family on gye for supporting me during this i may not seem to appreciate or respond properly but i truly appreciate everything

B'hatzlacha

Happy you pulled through BH. "my family on gye" has a nice ring to it. I feel the same way. There are so many people who stand by our sides when necessary. Keep us posted - you are bli ayin hora almost halfway to 90! 

Thanks and i notice that you are passed half way kein yirbu

B'hatzlacha

was thinking a little (chidush) and maybe this will help others understand how i work a little.

I'm the type to think what can be the worst outcome of a situation and take all precautions for that outcome like how to deal with it if it should come to be or how to prevent it hence i cause myself undo stress for no reason.
chow

B'hatzlacha

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 30 Jan 2017 23:00:

If thinking is indeed a chidush by you, why are you thinking so much about the worst outcomes?

Seriously speaking, it is very commendable of you that you realize that about yourself, for that is the first step towards reversal.

agreed trouble however this is an old problem that i struggle with and when in the moment i do not remember to stop over thinking things but now the family knows to watch out for me and that feels really good.
(trust me thinking aint no chidush just forgot to finish the joke...)  

B'hatzlacha

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 30 Jan 2017 04:24:

Capitalizing a letter or an occasional period might be beneficial.

Guess you made up for it at the end.

Day 43
had very triggering dreams last night not sure why they came need to think if i'm trying to hard to watch what i see and think.
anyways B"H it did not end up as a wet dream though was scared at first.
rest of the day went well though B"H.

B'hatzlacha

(was that good trouble  )

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 31 Jan 2017 21:02:

Sounds like bad trouble to me.

I don't see too many capitals though. Commas, forget about!

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 31 Jan 2017 21:02:

Don't worry about dreams. What goes on in the subconscious mind is very much secondary to our conscious actions. We see that even the Kohen gadol had to be kept up the night of yom kippur so that a nocturnal emission not invalidate him from the avoda. And Yaakov Avinu was a chidush that he never saw keri. Don't be tough on yourself. Be proud how great you are doing. You are giving a gift to the Ribono Shel Olam every minute! 

maybe i'm to straight or black and white but a few things are bothering me

why does my group not respond in the thread?why do people sign up if not to connect?

why does it have to be that every time i get to a calm moment of life and my learning shalom bais .... are doing great that is when Hashem throws a curve ball and sometimes a nasty one at me making me spiral out of control?

right now in a pretty good spot just wondering these things i know l'amul adam yoolad but why so hard fast and confusing?

B'hatzlacha