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Not even a week
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: Not even a week 1531 Views

Not even a week 08 Apr 2016 21:16 #284072

I was so confident with myself jumping into the 90 day chart and not even a full week went by and I already fell. This is very disheartening as I now have to start over and I now have doubts of whether or not il ever make it.

Re: Not even a week 08 Apr 2016 21:28 #284074

  • mr.clean
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Hi, welcome! 
I mean this in the sincerest and kindest of ways, chill:) this is a process. It takes time to heal, you know how hard it can be to abstain I'm sure, and you can't expect to just get 90 clean days just like that. If ppl could do that I doubt there would be a GyE. 
A week is great though, that's one fall out of 168 hours! It's a process, it's a healing, it takes time and patience and its a lifelong commitment. 
Ppl will be here to guide you, help you and be strength for u when u feel down. So welcome! Lets rock this!
A mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it.

Re: Not even a week 08 Apr 2016 21:30 #284075

  • thanks613
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Thanks for sharing your struggle.  That's what the forum's all about. I'm not sure I'm the one to advise you about what you might want to change for next time, but have you ever heard the phrase
KEEP ON TRUCKING (KOT)

It's a favorite one here, and not because falling is uncommon for those of us in this struggle. The mindset is not to get disheartened, but to pick yourself up (which you are already doing by coming here) and to move forward. If it was so easy that you could have stopped your first time, you never would have needed to come to GYE for help.  So again, don't get disheartened, but KEEP ON TRUCKING - maybe get some new tricks, talk to new people, but KEEP ON TRUCKING.

Hatzlacha, and have a good Shabbos!

I only saw Mr. Clean's post after I wrote this. But it made me want to add that in the journey that I'm now on, my 1st clean week was a huge thing. Maybe it's different for you (and I hope it is), but I could not remember the last time before that when I had gone from Shabbos to Shabbos without acting out. Sorry if you don't relate.
Last Edit: 08 Apr 2016 21:34 by thanks613.

Re: Not even a week 08 Apr 2016 22:04 #284080

  • Dov
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Poshuteryid wrote on 08 Apr 2016 21:16:
I was so confident with myself jumping into the 90 day chart and not even a full week went by and I already fell. This is very disheartening as I now have to start over and I now have doubts of whether or not il ever make it.

You'll surely never make it forever...but you can make it tday w G-d's help.
But you'll surely never make it through many 'today's by focusing on 'not falling'...that is a surefire way to just obsess even more than before about your sexual desires and lackings and fantasies. 
And 'one day at a time' does not mean 'if you can hold your breath for just one minute, then you can hold your breath for another minute'...if you are holding your breath, it is guaranteed to fail. 

I think the most simple and important question to ask may be: "Have I another option than these ones yet?
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: Not even a week 10 Apr 2016 19:21 #284196

  • TalmidChaim
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Know that you're very much not alone, and in very, very, very, very good company here.  A lot of the "sober" guys here, who have year-long clean streaks (and more) behind them, fell every day, multiple times a day, in the beginning. 

One of the things addicts have to learn is nonlinear thinking -- being okay with ups and downs, and not expecting PEREFECTION ;-)  It's not easy, and is still one of my biggest issues.  The most important thing in the beginning is to stay tied to the community and program.  You're learning (we all are, but the curve is steeper in the beginning), and mistakes must be expected (though not greeted intentionally, if you know what I mean). 

Keep posting, reading and working on yourself.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.

Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 10 Apr 2016 19:25 by TalmidChaim.

Re: Not even a week 11 Apr 2016 20:50 #284322

This is the technique of the yetzer hara, boy he is smart. The same way if I am chas veshalom mechalel Shabbos completely my yetzer tov will tell me "hey what's going on a minute ago I kept Shaboss fully, and now Im breaking it fully!" so I stop right away because it's unusual. So too when we try to do good and say "from now on I'm going to be clean forever!" that will be a disaster because then my yetzer hara  will tell me "hey what's going on a minute ago I was different" and that's when we fall! Remember too take it slow and prepare for failures so you know how to recover. Daven to Hashem to help you not to be down after falling.

We find this in haftarah 3 weeks ago shaul hamelech did an averiah, what did he say right after when shaul said I sinned? Shaul knew that if he's down then the yetzer hara has him, so he told shmuel the following, "honor me and respect me so I don't look bad in front of my nation" the pshat is that I did an averah, so nu nu Ill do Teshuvah, but If I get depressed because of it than the satan won. That is the actual fight!
Last Edit: 11 Apr 2016 20:52 by תיקון הברית.
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