Unfortunately I've been getting into a pattern of falling in particular bon Motzai shabbos 
I gotta get this monsta truck back on the rails 
starting with the basics I ba'h will check on here on this heiliger forum o  motzai shabbos and than on Sunday morning- a little accountability could go a far way..
from there on I gotta think about my next moves until than   shabbat shalom and gut shabbos love you all

I am writing this Motzei Shabbat here in the UK.

I think Motzei Shabbat is a dangerous time, because we restrain ourselves on Shabbat then have this night where it feels like usual obligations are nto present.

Teh main thing is that oy are awar eof this.

Then plut a plan in place.

I am careful now to either have a social arrangement for this time, or if alone, to make a plan i.e.

Some exercise
Some study
A film to watch 
A book to read

Gut vocht checking in here pretty boring unproductive night so I need extra shemira unfortunately theres a small loophole on my computers filtering that I'm having difficulty taking care of .

I think my main issue is that I dont have the proper coping mechanisms to deal with stress anxiety and boredom... maybe I should see a therapist- if I could adress this than I would be on a whole different playing field. 

feeling like giving in but I really dont want to deal with the crappy empty feeling that comes after masterbating myself ...

will check in in the Am

i-man wrote on 17 Feb 2019 04:30:

Highly recommend therapy. Paying people to listen to ur problems feels awesome:) 

i-man wrote on 17 Feb 2019 04:30:

I understand you.

My coping mechanisms are:

Phone a friend or family member
Visit a friend or family member
Study
Daven
Go for a walk - it really does brighten one's mood
Read
Watch a film
Perhaps learn to play an instrument?

Most of these dont really work for me
amongst many other things...

I'm missing something and I'm not sure what it is
I hope I'm not putting too much faith that a therapist would have the magic answer..
conversely for some reason I'm being very resistant to actually going to one I'm not sure why that is my wife amongst other close relatives thinks it's a good idea.

Almost forgot - still clean BH and not concerned about tonight,  weekdays are easier for me because I have to be up very early to learn daven work (A big factor in motzai shabbos being hard is not having that push, maybe it's time for a Sunday morning chavrusah...)

Sunday morning Chevrusa.....good idea!

I spoke to tag this morning knocked out the "loophole" B'H 
Time to get to work..

Oy waves of lust were coming in hard tonight
bh I managed to reach out as a way of stopping it 

i-man wrote on 28 Feb 2019 05:08:

Nice job! So far the score for this round is 5-0 you. KUTGW!

As I was dunking in the mikvah today I reflected on the fact that it was a really good week and how much menuchas hanefesh I felt because of that - good thing to keep in mind when the lust rears its ugly head.

i-man wrote on 08 Mar 2019 22:03:

I used to have a hard time with the french menus at restaurants, but a menu that has a nefesh is truly a catch. It might even fill me with minuchas hanefesh!

I have not posted on this thread in quite some time,  things are okay - not the best in terms of being clean , some new forms of the challenge have arisen , and I've taken steps to mitigate them. I think it would be beneficial for me to post some updates for the short term,  iy"H some big things coming down the pipeline...

Great day today.