Nitzchani bonai, nitzchani!!

hi pps today was just one of those days, everything has just gone "pitum aroup" as they say lost money, kids smashed my laptop lost my temper plus things at home are far from at best ah and add to that i woke of this morning with a slip. in the past this defo would have meant one outcome= get high on sum porn . Ok i wouldnt have looked for porn i would have looked for some clips to take my mind off my bleepy day and then progressed to the obvious as its the only thing that gives you that high.
But today that didnt happen!
hasjem gave me the strength to go away from the pc when i was right at the slipping part, thank you gue and all the guys here on the forum for teaching me all about this adiction. You see in the past i never would have made the connection between my day + mood = acting out, its the insight you have given me especially eyeballs in the way he  anylized his last fall that got me thinking.
guard thanking you on this world is alot but please will you let me into your gan eden to say thank i want to see the share of such a matzdik es harabim.

Sure, common right in. Have a seat. I love your style.  ;D

Hey levite. Happy to hear of your victory. Btw did you here about the kumzits we are planning?? Do you think you can join?

kumzitz is my thing lemme hear! tra la la la

You can even bring your harp along and sing us some of the levi'ims songs.

Glad to hear you stopped yourself from falling.

KUTGW!

--Eye.

Wow! Kol Hakavod!

That victory gives you a different kinda high, though - doesn't it?

thanx eye my partner in crime! 
and to silent...Hmmm well i dont what its given me, it feel good knowing that i didnt fall, more then giving me a high it gave me a different perspective= a different outcome = different behaviour pattern = new possibilities, iv reached a place in me that i never knew existed, so at the mo im quite overwhelmed with this unto itself!
HEY tRYING WHEN Is THE KUMZITZ ? i love the nutters that hang out here!

Check out the Kumzitz in the Holyland thread/ what works for me

That's what I mean...it's different, but a deeper sense of feeling good, of accomplishment, of winning...

And in this case, opening up new vistas to you (not like the OS, that's not a good thing  )

Dude youv gotta post more often. We barely ever hear from you. sing some shira for us , please?

hey pps, imsorry for missing out on the forum, i guess i have been quite busy laely and havent had the time to post, i think that like you trying25, i find im better in the spoken word then in the fingers, unless i put alot of effort in. I think im a bit dyslexic too.
Im ok boruch hashem im at day 24 at mo, boruch hashem he hshelpeme alot in this struggle, iv decided to take up a course in therapy a monh ago i beleive that, that is helping me too. the kuzitz was amazing, i found it very hard to go. I brought this qustion up at thekumzitz is sa connected to anti-social behaviours?
Im not anti-social in the wikipedia term of the words, but i do like to be incognito alot, i have many freinds, even close freinds, but i hate social do's with ppl i dont know well, i like hanging out on myown with my thoughts etc. i think i use sa to find the freinds in my mind the freinds i can model to be the ideal of my imagination.
thanx eye for making me write this!
Last night hashem tested me bagadol, i looked through my frind sd card and found p on it i managed to turn it off before i saw anything, but it kinda ggot me going, and started me off on sub-concious p search (the kind of search that you serch for kosher stuff in the hope...)  but i quit early in this stage without seeing anything bh, but had a hrd night tossing and turning... plus i have a fever so bh im kinda in a bad mood! but hey i didnt fall and thats what counts to me.
oh and by the way if i wanna be honest to myself even when opening my mates sd card i was hoping in the back of my mind for p.
just anylyzing aloud
ok . to y'all have a great week

Thanks levite for heading my call. I feel i have this need to be by myself alot as well. Just me and my thoughts. Nothing else and noone else. As long as it doesnt shter our realationships with our family and friends i think its perfectly fine. And more, i think its very healthy.
Anyways, im so happy to hear you got past the test. Im not as happy to hear that your not feeling well. Its weird ever since i met all you guys, i feel a much stronger connection to everyone. i feel like thers a real erson out there that im happy for. Etc etc. Anyways fel better and dont shter to call if need be.

imtrying25 wrote on 20 Dec 2009 12:33:


That's exactly why I went, to turn "virtual" friends to "real" friends!

Levite, kol hakavod for not falling after being tested. That earned you 1000 GYE points.  ;D