Levite, thanks so much for sharing the above. I have always felt your posts to be from the heart. Hatzlocha.
And now another long rant.
Two points you make made a big impression on me and must have a response. No argument, just a share, really.
Before that, may Hashem to help me never jump on anyone or attack them for their experience or opinion. The day I do that, I will have crossed the line from being a sick person getting well with Hashem's help and th help of (His) people, to being an expert on anyone else's recovery, chas vesholom. Being an expert on my own recovery and sharing that, must always be enough for me, or I'm toast.
Point 1: You bring out what some great people on this site have tried to do, which is essentially create a recovery fellowship and program that shows where the ideas grow out of chazals at every turn. That seems to be a fair request. In many posts, I have thrown in the p'sukim, etc., that do this for me. I use them in my davening and berachos on food, my relationships (mitzvos bein odom l'chaveiro) and in my understanding of Torah, as much as Hashem helps me do so. I feel as you do, that ultimately, knowing a recovery idea from a Torah source makes it more powerful and helps me identify with it more fully.
Here is my k'neitch:
I say "ultimately" - because whether I like it or not, the truth is the truth. If I'm killing myself with this stupid acting out and see that I need to do these things to stop and stay stopped, then I'd better get to it, chazal, or no.
For me - me, now - it was a matter of just growing up, sanity, derech eretz. Not a madreiga. Not what I had seem before that as avodas Hashem, per se. I saw that the solution to my problem lay in the inglorious underpinnings that "akeivo shel odom dosh bo" (oops, there I go again with chazal!). The simple basics like honesty, acceptance ot the truth, and willingness to change and using Hashem instead of just worshipping Him. Dodi li (oops!)...but I never heard it taught that way!
What you do when you go out and talk to Hashem, is the crux of the entire program as I see it. It's having a true, relevant, and personal relationship with your own G-d. AA says that that is the single desired result of the steps - just read the 12th step, there it is.
It's obviously what RaShBI zt"l is saying when he says that the 613 mitzvos are 613 eitzos (ittin), etc.
There really is no other game in town, period.
It's just that an addict, screwed up as he is, has no other option but to get that relationship if he wants to stay stopped.
Anyone can quit! I quit 250 times, at least. How about you? Now, "normal" folks - even though they do unhealthy behavior and even cheit sometimes - can get along without it....unfortunately. Now this is counter-intuitive: It's davka the one who is deep in either what we'd call unhealthy behavior (like gambling, drinking, drugs), or what we'd call cheit (lust, sex, violence) that needs (and can reach) the shoresh itself, though "normal" decent folks can hardly seem to reach at all! Do you get me here?
You apparently know what it's like to be compulsively using this schmutz, right? Is there anyone as unfortunate?
And yet - if we recover - is there anyone as fortunate as we? To really have Hashem and to really be for Him - imperfectly - but for Him!!
Which brings me right into point #2:
How did I, not being on any decent madreiga, reach this? The answer is not pretty.
I never succeded at stopping acting out for k'vod Shomayim or to keep the Torah. Sure, I'd love to frame it that way, especially cuz it'd make me look like a real tzaddik on a site like this! But I can't afford the lie.
Instead, I tell the truth - and some folks don't like it (and tell me so):
What got me to stop was that I saw that this was going to kill me. It was selfish, "enlightened" self-interest. It was a gift from Hashem,almost like a ruach - it rather suddenly became clear to me (while I was acting out the last time) that if I take one more step in the progression, I'd never make it back. It'd be over and I'd give up Hashem, me, my family, everything, just to keep acting out. I'd have done it - given all that up, for a while. I had sacrificed each of those things piecemeal on the altar of lust already, for years.
But something told me then, that I'd never get it back if I went a step further. And I knew that after that I would have nothing else to do but to just keep going on w/o a life until lust killed me.
But even though I wanted it (lust!!!) more than almost anything, I just didn't want to die.
So I got help.
So, you may wonder how point #1 brings me into point #2. Because that was the only motivation that actually worked to get me into action instead of watching my life slowly go down the drain. I had to see that I was going to lose myself. That's when really reaching for Him finally became OK. Reaching for Hashem was suddenly no longer a religious matter at all, no longer "being good". It was staying alive. Like my own personal "Kofoh aleihem hahar k'gigis" (Oops!)
Even though I was and would remain imperfect, might never amount to anything worthwhile, and would never be able torub out my record - I could reach for Him and just live - even without what I had been totally reliant upon till then: lust.
We differ there, as you and many others here are doing things for Hashem, and I wasn't. As such, you may still have the luxury of building your recovery the way you want to - for Hashem's (and the Truth's) sake. Because it is the right thing to do.
I didn't have that luxury.
Nu. Unfortunately, I gave it up.
I'm an addict. And there's only One pleasant way out of that.
Hope that helps clarify some stuff. We can be different, but still be friends and help eachother, right?
) 
:o ???