i cant believe that i stumbled on this site!! This may be the greatest thing ever to happen to me!! Im really new to this site and i am somewhat confused it seems there is so much going on here. Is there someone i can talk ( email,chat etc.) to that can give me a basic rundown about this site?? Im what you call a "kollel yungerman" and imm suffering from a porn addiction for so many years. To say ive given up is an understatement!! Every time ive tried something else coame along and...BOOM! im sure you all can understand me. Im hoping that after all these years this might just be my salvation. Ive already signed up to 90 day chart but it seems there is so much more this site has to offer.

Dear imtrying25,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

The 90 day chart is a great start. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors.

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. A new cycle of Duvid Chaim's phone group is starting this coming Monday (see this page). See also this page for all four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Thanx for getting back at me. I would really love to get involved in the phone conference but i have 2 major problems 1- my wife knows nothing about my addiction and 2- im in israel and the timing doesnt really work out . Is there an eitza?? Also when im in need of chizuck to pull me through a tough day where and how can i get that?

1) That's one of the great benefits of being part of this wonderful community. Keep sharing and posting on this forum!

2) That's why the daily chizuk e-mails are DAILY! 

3) When feeling weak, read some of the handbooks.. (and of course, go through the stories on the site, the tips, the previous chizuk e-mails, etc... There's enough inspiring reading material on GYE to keep you on your toes for 100 hundred years!)

hellooooo!!!!!! 

welcome to this beatiful oasis of purity in a world that strives for the EXACT OPPOSITE!

I was having such a difficult day today myself. and i was depressed and i was thinking, you know what? forget this...theres no way i can hold out...let me just give in.

but instead...i came here..and typed out my problems thinking that NO ONE could answer them in a manner that would make it easier.
lo and behold...i was wrong..and baruch hashem for that.
im not saying im not struggling today anymore. i am. this minute infact.
but i feel strong and secure knowing that i can turn to people here who can give me chizuk...and remind me when i just need to chill and take it one moment at a time and not freak out 

check out the pdf's that guardureyes metioned to you....theyre amazing.

be'ezras hashem may you discover your weapons to fight the yetzer hara here so that your life is filled with more kedusha and less shame and guilt!!!!!!!!!!

i love you...and i think i can say this for everyone here...we all love u and are here if u need it.

keep rockin....keep growin!

Welcome,Imtrying

We could try to hook you up with a live partner/sponsor to be mechazek one another.

Fill in some basic stuff so we can match you up with someone from a smiliar background.
rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=101.0

Hatzlacha!

Imtrying,

WELCOME!

imtrying25 wrote on 14 Oct 2009 23:04:


Like has already been said, post!!
We are here for each other!

Sturggle

In case of emergency you can post in the first thread on this page, "I am about to fall".

Oh, sorry I nearly forgot:
A BIG WELCOME TO OUR WARRIORS CLUB

imtrying25 wrote on 14 Oct 2009 22:44:


that is exactly how I feel, it really is the help we need

imtrying25 wrote on 14 Oct 2009 22:44:


you will have to just spend some time going through different tabs on the site, there is so much to learn from. I personally love the links to inspiring shiurim.

Thanx to all you guys for getting back at me and welcomeing me so warmly. It brings tears to my eyes knowing that there are so many people out there that want to help me and care for me and we dont even know who eachother are. MI KE'AMCHA YISRAEL!!! Hey g38 can you just explain to me what is a "thread"?

imtrying25 wrote on 15 Oct 2009 23:03:


You are on one. any topic that you post on is called a thread.

Welcome. This is a whole new chapter in my life also. wishing you much success. We are all waiting to hear great things.

I cant say that im about to fall but i could say that im going through hell!!!!! ( can i write that?) I really need help and suggestions  to help me. I feel my insides screaming, probaly the addiction and want to look at ... and i want to do what i shouldnt but i keep telling myself thats only the addiction talking not my real self but its hell. I feel like my whole insides are just turning over and over. I really need eitzas what to do when im in this matziv. I couldnt do anything with any sort of concentration. Am i just crazy??? I feel like  i need an outlet but i dont know what to do. Is there anyone out there that can understand my feelings and give me some suggestions. Please get back. Thanks.

Dearest fellow warrior,
My heart goes out to you. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to call out and ask for help even anonymously. 

So we salute your gvurah!!!!!

Drumrolls please bam bam bam!!!!

One and all together chevra let's salute a special yid imtrying25!

(That snaps you hear is the ebnire battilion saluting )

Seriously, what is bothering you specifically? Do you want to share how u came to this situation that your insided are turning?

If you want to pm me feel free! Or talk it out right here!

I'm here 4 u tzadik

Love n prayers with tremendous respect

Noorah

We can all relate to you very well. That is the power of addiction - and withdrawal!

Maybe this page can help: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ39.asp

But my dear yid... If the first 12 tools of the GYE handbook prove to not be sufficient in the long-term, we ultimately need to change our way of thinking altogether (instead of "white-knuckling" it). This can only happen with a good addiction therapist and/or with joining a 12-Step group. You can join Duvid Chaim's 12-Step hone group, 4 times a week. See this page for more info.

Noorah BAmram wrote on 25 Oct 2009 23:39:


To be perfectly honest im not sure myself what exactly it is that im expierencing. I guess you can say its like having an ice cream cone in front of your face on a really hot day with your hands tied behind your back. I just recently installed a filter on my computer and i have it on the highest setting so i think this might have to do with it. Until now everytime i tried i knew back in my head that ill probaly fall and if i really want to "check the web out" i could. But now i cant and i know i cant so its really making me crazy. Thats why im saying that its the addiction thats causing it but i dont really know what it is. Like i said i feel like i need an outlet but i dont have what i used to have for example looking at pornagraphy. You know its really weird but everytime ive tried to stop i in a way always looked foward to my fall. Like i just cant wait for the fall to happen so i can just do what i always do and this kills me too. This is why like i said before i think ( and hope) its the addiction in me but i really dont know. And most importantly i need a way to deal with it because if not there is no way ill ever make it through any kind of clean time span without going crazy.
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