there are some busy times for me at work and sometimes they cause stress. Yesterday at some point I had a lot of stress, because a deadline is approaching fast and I felt like there was so much to do still.
In the past in such moments, masturbation would work well, soothing my stress (for a while). The urge to do so came up yesterday and when I went to the toilet I touched myself. But, Thanks be to hashem, I quickly realised that this was not the way and would only leed to guilt and more stress. I said to myself: 'you don't want to do this. You don't want to fall and feel terrible about it. You don't want to create avenging angels. There is another way. So I stopped in time even before having reached the point of no return and got back to my desk, where I told myself to just take it easy and just do what I can. I also put on music devoted to hashem on my head phones (which is the first point on my taphsic list). From there on it went well and the stress slowly decreased.
I am very glad that I was able to stop myself in time, however praise be to hashem because without Him I couldn't have been that strong. This is another lesson for me that in any situation we need to call Adonai and put our trust in Him.
