I am replying here to your message from LEARNING's thread, I hope that makes sense to you.
TryTryAgain wrote:
On a different note, part of what is keeping me going is the fact that I challenged Learning to a race of getting to 90 days first, which is why I post updates in his thread (I wouldn't post to "steal his thunder" Cv"S).
Right now, I'm closing in on my 7th straight clean! This is my longest streak in over a year! I don't know exactly what happened, but today, when I had thoughts or feelings (3 times) that usually caused me to fall, I either closed my computer or watched sports instead of looking at inappropriate sites or pictures.
I think the reason is really split into 3.
1) The previously mentioned challenge that I sent to Learning. I'm very competitive and I want to "win". Obviously I don't want the "win" at the hands of Learning falling, I want him to "win" with me!
2) Sometimes when I want to stop a bad habit, something in my brain "clicks" and I stop. It isn't necessarily voluntary because otherwise I would've stopped a while ago, but I know that for years I tried to stop biting my nails (which isn't on the same level, but it is a very difficult habit to stop), but to no avail. Finally, sometime this past year, I just decided to stop and surprisingly I haven't bitten my nails in almost 9 months! Hopefully this is the same!
3) Most of you probably won't like this reason, but I feel like it is a factor. Their is a girl who I am very close with and can honestly see myself marrying. I know marriage is right around the corner and whenever I talk to her I see it looming over my head. In light of this, I don't want to go into marriage with this addiction because I read a lot on these forums about how this addiction hurts their spouses, and I definitely don't want to hurt this girl in any way!
I like your post. You are a step ahead I think because you are not afraid to face your true motivations. Both the motivation of winning and patting yourself on the back, or maybe feeling the excitement of competition, and the motivation of planning for a happy marriage are very believable motivations (it's not for me to say whether they are worthwhile or not, I leave that up to you.)
So you found one good reason to stop. What about reasons for not stopping? Some people use porn and masturbation as a way of coping with life. Is that your case? What about how good it feels? It's okay to write that porn feels good, it's true. I would be interested to see what pros and cons of your addiction you would write down.
You asked people for their opinions, and I gave you mine. Let me know if this approach is not your cup of tea though.
