Ah Lord G-D! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee: /Jeremiah 32:17

I will force myself to update here every day. Today is day 2. I am sober. Once I reach 30 days I will qualify to join an accountability group without having an internet filter. I wrote an introduction on who I am and my struggle in the introduce yourself forum.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/217145-Time-to-say-hi---I-need-to-get-free%21%21

Thanks, GYE for existing. I must break free. It's impossible for me, but with haShem everything is possible. As you know, the above passage says "lo yipale mimcha kol davar" (I am Israeli I write my Hebrew as I say it, not the ashkenazi way, sorry). Which could also be "there is no miracle to great for thee". There is no pele that he cant do.

I really need that Pele in my life. I need a miracle. Help me.

Hi, sounds like your on your way and i wish you the best!!!
Just one comment id like to make. Alot of people on here will agree with me that if you only focus on the 90 day count without any concrete methods of keeping clean, you will sort of be "Holding your breath" (as Dov would say... sheesh, im quoting him a lot) and not really healing the inside. I know because it happened to me.
So what are your plans?

Well, if I have understood it right, the goal of 90 is not to "hold your breath", but to make it easier to stay away altogether. I think I will keep going with 180 and 270 and so on. But right now I need to focus on one day at a time.

My plan, or the list of things that I do now that I didn't do in the past:

1) I am writing here and reporting my progress. Today is day 2. I feel like Im no longer alone in my struggle.
2) I have printed out the 90-day challenge (the discreet version) and put up on my office wall.
3) I have downloaded the handbook and will start reading it today.
4) I have committed myself to go to GYE and read stories and testimonies, or write things every time I feel like acting out or go to p*.
5) I will force myself to actually READ the emails every day
6) I am - now - publicly asking if there is any volunteer out there who would like my personal email. I want that person to email me and ask whats going on if I disappear from the forums, or if I am inactive for too long. Just knowing that someone will notice and ask me how its going is hopefully going to help me stay on track.

It's been one day since the last post and Im still sober.

gevaldig good for u im with u all the way . im on day 1 after a big fall but started today better then ever be"h with tefillos and learning(and gye)we will win with pride and joy!!

Another day has gone by and I am clean. Marked off another mark on my 90-chart on the office wall and reached level 1. I will keep documenting my progress here even if all I have to say is "one more day and I'm still clean". Just to keep it up.

Still clean!

Still clean. Getting ready for my first Shabbat since I joined this forum.
I wish I could say "my first clean shabbat" but Ive had many "clean" streaks that ended in falls. But Ive done great progress this time.

keep strong your doing gevaldig and giving me (i'm sure others too) lots of chizuk with hashems help you will make it and start the new year with a new begining

Just passed shabbat without incidents! Shavua tov everyone. I've got one sober week behind me, and a lifetime of sober weeks ahead of me!

Still clean, still clean, still clean!
*jumping and dancing around for joy*

Still clean! 8 days! Reached another level. Life is good. Except for my family being sick, me having to stay home from work while my to-do pile at work is accumulating... :-\
Ok, life is not very good in general right now. But THIS part of it is!! I am starving my addictive self.

Day 10!

I still cant believe I am doing this.

Still, cant let my guard down. It's still there. Ready to make me fall any minute.

KUTGW and KOMT ad meah v'esrim.


K'siva v'chasima tova and ah gut gebensht yuhr, you're doing great.