After some advice from one of the tayere hidden on this forum I've decided to move my 'online diary' here. After keeping 8 days clean I had a fall and am back to where I started at 0. It's a crazy roller coaster with at the moment no real success. Although 8 days is quite good for me at the moment. Anyways I'm gonna repost all the stuff that was on my old thing here so I don't lose it. Just scroll down...

Good Shabbos!



fighting my porn addiction

Reasons why I want to fight porn ( why not just give in and enjoy )

1. I believe the Torah and G-d are true and the Torah prohibits viewing porn and masturbating.

2. It's undisciplined. I feel tied down and am forced to listen to this desire inside me.

3. I feel like I'm betraying my family and my community because this is a big taboo here. I'm betraying that trust that I'm a chassid.

4. It'll cause big problems by marriage as i'll be distracted by what I'm seeing on the computer.

5. the rebbe and hashem are watching me betray them.

6. I get depressed when I watch porn.

7. Each time I masturbate that could have been one of my kids.

8. It's basically my only one real problem and of I conquer this I'm gonna be really successful.

How I'm gonna fight it.

1. Learning the prohibitions and compiling my own personal handbook like a Torah guide to porn and masturbation.

2. Keeping myself busy with other things.

3. Learning psychology tips on how to deal with this.

4. Strong filters on all devices.

5. Setting aside ample time for krias shema.

6. Getting together a few Torah things I like and starting to work on it.


I wrote this list as my mission statement probably will be adding a few things in the near future
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Re: Chabad guys struggle 24 May 2013 22:58 #207717
Chabadguy

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A start for my sources in the Torah regarding this. Ones that mainly haven't been picked up by anyone else

Hilchos isurei biah rambam last Perek last halachah.

וכן ינהוג להתרחק מן השחוק ומן השכרות ומדברי עגבים שאלו גורמין גדולים והם מעלות של עריות. ולא ישב בלא אשה שמנהג זה גורם לטהרה יתירה. גדולה מכל זאת אמרו יפנה עצמו ומחשבתו לדברי תורה וירחיב דעתו בחכמה שאין מחשבת עריות מתגברת אלא בלב פנוי מן החכמה. ובחכמה הוא אומר אילת אהבים ויעלת חן דדיה ירווך בכל עת באהבתה תשגה תמיד

Hilchos teshuvah Perek daled halachah daled

ד ומהן חמשה דברים העושה אותן אין חזקתו לשוב מהן. לפי שהם דברים קלים בעיני רוב האדם ונמצא חוטא והוא ידמה שאין זה חטא. ואלו הן: ..... ג) המסתכל בעריות מעלה על דעתו שאין בכך כלום שהוא אומר וכי בעלתי או קרבתי אצלה. והוא אינו יודע שראיית העינים עון גדול שהיא גורמת לגופן של עריות שנאמר {ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם
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Re: Chabad guys struggle 24 May 2013 23:31 #207720
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the picture is shimshon hagibor. not st. mary....
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It looks like you're off to a great start with a clear commitment, analysis of the problem, and some solutions.

Hatzlacha on your journey
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THANK YOU
Re: Chabad guys struggle 26 May 2013 02:47 #207726
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Amazing hayom yom today really nogeah for our struggle. For those that don't know what hayom yom is its a book compiled by the Lubavitcher rebbe with a daily inspiration you can find it on chabad.org under daily study.

Here's today's:

The early sages, who were like angels1 (may their merit protect us) have already determined that the healing of the soul is like the healing of the body:

The crucial first step is to identify the location of the illness, whether it is caused by the crassness, grossness and corruption of his physical body or by a failing in his soul-powers, the person being inclined to undersirable traits like arrogance or falsehood and the like. Or, the source of the malady may be habit - inadequate rearing or unwholesome environment having brought on bad habits.

Without ascertaining the specific site of the illness and the cause of infection, it is impossible to embark on a cure. One can only prescribe an orderly proper conduct in all matters, what to do and what to avoid. To "do good"2 in terms of observing mitzvot, designating times for Torah-study and acquiring good character traits - and also to "turn away from evil."3

Most urgent of all, however, is that the patient make himself aware of two things: a) to know that he is ill, and desire most fervently to be cured of his malady; b) to know that he can be cured, with hope and absolute trust that, with G-d's help, he will indeed be cured of his sickness.

Now me: when one figures it the source of all these problems he knows who he's fighting against I'm so happy that the rebbe actually had the time to put in a hayom yom for not well people and this proves that there is such a concept as addiction in Torah
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Re: Chabad guys struggle 27 May 2013 03:28 #207750
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Wow it's crazy how quickly you can slip back into all the old stuff you were doing. You could have like a week of solid structure and then a day later you're back to square one. What a roller coaster seems like its gonna take quite some time before we actually stay put for a significant amount of time.

I mean Tanya always says that it's a constant struggle but it also says that the struggle goes up a level over here it's like all the way up and then rock bottom. As if I never did any avidah. You can try and make me feel better by saying that the days where you were good will never be lost but let's face it, it's not very fulfilling.

I know what the reason is. Because even when you were getting spiritual it wasn't real it was just a chitzoniyusdiker level. I'm gonna start davvening to hashem that my avodah be done with a pnimiyus and I hope my prayers will be answered because I'm not the most real of guys.
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I believe that it's not really necessary to have Internet at home ever there are so many public places one can go to to catch wifi do what you've got to do and head home. Unfortunately I know the password to my wifi and once I tried to disconnect but when the taavah came I knew the password so I was messed over by my own annoying memory - it's a pretty hard password like a code or something.

I'm thinking of calling my network provider to ask him to change the code. Any other ideas because I'm out of luck. It seems like if I get rid of Internet at my place my problem will be ten times easier.

It's not like I have a job where I need Internet.

I heard a good vort. Why does it say asher atem zonim achareihem - do not stray after your eyes that you are straying after. A person doesn't need to be straying! Eloh Mai a person is naturally straying after his eyes and we need to fight that one can't say, oh all I need to do is be a tzaddik. No every Jew will have this struggle for the rest of their lives.

the best thing to do if you don't need the internet is probably to get rid of it, ashrecha if you do.

If you can't then you can change the password to a long string of random digits and letters, write it down somewhere and use a taphsic to keep yourself from looking at it unless it's absolutely necessary (you can decide if it's necessary by posting it here or asking someone you know if they agree that it is).

Also do you have a filter?

I have gye filter on my laptop but my iPad doesn't have a filter concept the only thing you can do is restrict safari and stuff but there are always ways round it.

It's not my Internet to change the password to and I know the password so it's not gonna help I can't force myself to forget it.

There are ways to protect an ipad decently well, look here:

venishmartem.com/


But filters are not the answer anyway.What we have to do is change ourselves to not need p***.Only by doing that will we really be able to help ourselves in this struggle.

Did you read the handbook? It's really useful, you can go to the tab at the top of the page labelled gye program for most of it.It will give you a sense of where you're holding and what to do.

Hatzlacha and don't worry this is a struggle that can be fought

Good luck! You're off to a good start.

If we stay underwater too long, we won't be able to hold our breath any longer. Try discovering possible voids lust fills up.

Also, as far as motivation for stopping goes:

-Forget the taboo in the community. You're doing it for yourself, not for anyone else.
-Focus on positive motivations, like "I will become closer to Hashem" or "I won't have to sweep certain issues under the rug any more"

Good luck!

Thats a great idea ecause at themoment that isnt something thats helping me stop unfortunately although the truth is none of that is helping me stop. I need a new strategy.

Maybe ill try the taphsic method again that worked for some time until i ran out of cash and was 'mevatel' the neder. Daily tanya over the last few days really discusses this problem its crazy that the chachomim said that that one cant repent from this sin but after the alter rebbes explanation everything makes sense and i think its linked up with thius website. the alter rebbe explaoins that one cant do teshuva on the 'lower level of teshuva' but one may do teshuva on the higher level. Now i might go so mfar to say that the higher level besides for meaning a higher love of G-d it also means to do everything you can to fix this problem including but not limited to the 12 steps.

www.chabad.org/dailystudy/tanya.asp?tdate=6/20/2013