going into shabbos B"H feeling great and strong!!!

Keep going!!!!  CHAZAK VEEMATZ!!!

B"H on all fronts things are really quite good.I find that my desires are not as strong as they were a few days ago.I am just waiting for the y'h to kick up his heels and try to rarp me.I  now have some new ways to avopid his traps,thanks to GUE.For instance today I had a really late start and started to get upset and anxious over it.A perfect way to escape into the internet.B'H  I pusged myself and was able to get into a much better frame of mind.It was harder than I thought,but the minute I made up my mind not to give in ,the positive energy I created within my neshema multiplied.

Ashrecha!

P.S. What does 'rarp me" mean? And what does "pusged myself" mean? Do you have some secret techniques that require code words?  ;D

The words should be trap and pushed.My typing needs help also!!

After a very difficult day I amde it.Much of it was my own doing.I tried and pushed,not even myself,but someone else trying to recover.The guilt I feel is so heavy.But I will not let the y'h get me to fall or get depressed.He played a lot of tricks on me today.B'H by the end of the day,I can honestly say I learned a great deal.

I am glad you made it.  Im yirtze H", we will all make it.

Thank you,those words mean a lot to me.

It is so funny how even when we pretend to try and something"innocent" we can have a perverted mind set behind it. This adiction totally screws up they way we think.I really can't wait for the 90 days to be here so I can atleasrt start to have a diffirent mind set .I want to be able to have a normal conversation with a women without the lewd thought sin my mind.Sometimes I believe if we take the way r device we use for the lewd and use them for the opposite  it gives us positive energy.For instance using the interent to come to this site instead of porn is a huge move.

Made thru to today,DAY 20!!!! It's been easy at times,but sometimes so hard I was almost jumping out of my skin.The overwhelming  desire to go online and check out of reality when the regular everyday pressures if being a husband, dad,businessman,friend,a regular guy build.So many little things trigger me,it a miracle I have made it to day 20.I know that thru my entire adult life I have chosen porn over everything near and dear to me.I have past up so many great opportunities and missed so many special times with my wife and kids.All because of his illness.G-d knows what I could have been or made of myself if I did check of life to world of porn and sex.This is a life that only I was given,by hashem.He knows what is best for me and had provided me with the means to be who he creatd me to be.The problem is that I have been blinded so long by my addiction,that I have failed so amny times to see the help he has sent to me.sometimes it was clear as day but I chose to ignore it because I like d getting lost in porn much better than using the help.Now B"H I have made a choice to use the help,and it is working!!!Getting over the apin and frustration of what I have done to myself and others,even though they are not aware of it,is quite hard.I know that deep down my wifes neshama has kmnown all along.Now that I have been clean for almost 3 wks I can feel us growing closer.This is what keeps me going.The closer we get,my kids included .the closer I get to Hashem.This is a heigher rush than any porn can give me!!!I just need to remember all of this.

Gettinghelp, you are such an inspiration! As a matter of fact, two whole paragraphs in today's Chizuk e-mail are YOURS. And your post today will probably find itself in another Chizuk e-mail as well. Keep inspiring us! You are a perfect example of the mess that the addiction wrought on our lives, and how, when we finally focus on GETTING HELP, we begin to see miracles and start to truly LIVE!

Feeling pretty good now that I have finished 3 wks!!!

Staring Day21!!!!!
I feel that over the past few wks. I have grown so much.I definately have a new closeness with myself and with Hashem.My relationship with my wife is so much closer(not that is was bad).I am at the stage learning how to deal with life rather than checking out of life and running to esacpae on the internet.I have seen a few nissim hat have kept me from falling...B"H!!!!!If it wasn't for me posting now,I probably would be looking for a way to fall.The desire is still strong,but my desire to keep at it is even stronger.Without going into details,my wife has come up with anew way for us to be closer.She has no idea that she is even doing something. So you see Hashem works his ways when we are on the right path.For me the anme of the game is to see how much closer I can get to me wife.Because if one truly loves his wife,repsects her,listens to her,thatn the same is true with his relatiosship with Hashem.

Your posts are so inspiring - you give us all strength. I updated your chart. KUTGW!

Thank you,buy what does the kutgw mean?