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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Hi everyone 947 Views

Hi everyone 12 Aug 2012 10:39 #143475

Player1
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Hi everyone. I'm not sure how to link this post to my chart. If it isn't done automatically then please let me know.

Background: Today is day 2 of my 90 day journey but I'll write about my first day because it is too early to say much. I'm not new to fighting my YH and I have been trying to overcome it for about 2 and a half years now. I started out making many obvious mistakes that would have given many observers painful headaches. I didn't even use a web filter for the first year (FACEPALM) of my struggle because I was too ashamed to tell anyone and I was ignorant of websites like GYE. I somehow managed to get a personal record (that I still have not beaten even with a web filter) of 37 days of abstinence despite my stupidity and the laptop being in my room. I did have some small slips where I watched material during that 37 day period but I did not act out. I began to cry and pray afterwards.

Journal: Day 1 was easy because I spent a lot of my day at church and I fell asleep for a few hours once I got home. I was using the filter gabai service until I found a way to easily remove my web filter with admin privileges (I won't mention it for fear of others using the method). I now have my brother holding the password to the admin account and my web filter as well. I only told him that I want to stop spending a lot of time on the internet but I think I should tell him my problem so he can help me out even more by performing daily checks of the websites that I visit (and also to check if I have somehow removed the program as well).

Re: Hi everyone 12 Aug 2012 11:24 #143478

rt Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 260 Karma: 0	HellO and Welcome. Just one question. What are you doing in the chruch? oO

Re: Hi everyone 12 Aug 2012 12:46 #143490

TehillimZugger
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RT:
Player1 wrote on 03 Nov 2011 05:29:

I was raised catholic....
...Eventually though, I came across a church

And Player: While this site doesn't discriminate against non-jews and is open to anyone serious about recovery from pornography addiction, there DO exist non-religious and christian sites, where you don't have to use jewish terminology like "YH" and where people speak english instead of Yeshivish...

?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: Hi everyone 12 Aug 2012 12:59 #143492

rt Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 260 Karma: 0	Oh, well, shkoach TZ, I was not aware of that. Was kinda stira to me. church and YH ? (I mean this two things are not stira to each other...you know what i mean.) anyhow, player, have success. r"t

Re: Hi everyone 12 Aug 2012 18:36 #143511

Player1 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE User	Ok. That makes sense. Could you please have my posts deleted and my account terminated? Thank you.

Re: Hi everyone 12 Aug 2012 18:57 #143515

soldierofhashem OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 58 Karma: 0	you don't have to delete everything, you are still welcome here, you seem to know what is going on, but what I think the suggestion was meant that there may be other sites that wont be as foreign to you. and if you feel comfortable here we are here for you too

Re: Hi everyone 13 Aug 2012 15:21 #143555

E-Tek Current streak: 25 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 317 Karma: 1	Yeah, s'all good. If you like the place, we're more than happy to help, or at least listen. Just the other place may be better, who knows? We have other non-Jews here, grace4me comes to mind... Best of luck (bad translation of Hatzlacha?)! Meir

Re: Hi everyone 13 Aug 2012 16:15 #143562

TehillimZugger
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Just found this from Reb Guard himself!:
guardureyes wrote on 25 Sep 2008 18:37:

I am always amazed when a non-Jew is seeking sexual purity. It is amazing. Maybe you have a Jewish soul :-) We have 1 or 2 non-Jews on our Chizuk list as well, and they even use Hebrew words like "Yetzer hara" when they write me. Check out this page of our FAQ. We also have a few recovery stories of non-Jew's like you, on our Recovery Story page (Scroll to the bottom). May G-d be with you and help you find true happiness and freedom.

Here's one non-Jew's e-mail to us:

I have to write to you to thank you so much for your website and especially for the daily chizuk. I have been trying to deal with pornography for literally decades. Your site has helped me to begin to actually deal with this problem successfully. I have to tell you something quickly. I am not Jewish (but I listen to rabbinic teaching constantly). I have learned over the past year how Jews actually live out their religion. My religion talks about love and grace but not about the true importance of law and deeds. As a result, all of the websites that are intended to help with battling the porn problem never get in and recognize the reality of the yetzer hara and doing battle there. The instruction of our websites is to pray about it as though God will take away the problem when the time is right. On top of that they teach not to really worry about it since grace will cover our mistakes.

Now I know better. Not that grace will not cover mistakes, but that we have more responsibility than that. You have helped me to understand that we have to work on ourselves and the specific deficiencies the Creator has allowed us to have. As a result I can understand the purpose of this world and the world to come much more clearly. And I need all the help I can get. So do the rest of the men of my religion. I hope I can somehow help some to wake up to the reality of our irresponsibility. I have to be careful who I share your jewel of a website with because many won't understand. I pray that someday they will wake up.

I couldn't go another day without sharing my gratitude with you.

As far as the site goes, I'm not trying to be diplomatic, but I have taken advantage of every part of it. I initially found the tips helpful. I tried not to go through them all at once so that I would still have some to look forward to. I like that you have tips that are from different perspectives. The email chizuk list is helpful because I have to face them each time I check my email, which is encouraging. I have checked into a lot of the filters because the one I was using was defeatable.

I have to say that I feel the whole site is appropriate for me and the aspects of lust and porn that I have to deal with. I am excited about the direction you are going. I pray that this site will be a beacon to those like me who love G-d yet battle with this generation's struggle with lust and easy access.