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My Gift of Sobriety
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: My Gift of Sobriety 850 Views

My Gift of Sobriety 15 Jul 2012 21:06 #141605

Baruch Hashem today is number 5 of sobriety. For someone who's had 9 months at a time before it may not sound like much, but now that I realize that I am completely powerless over lust, it really is a big deal to me. I had to hit a real bottom before I realized how powerless I am over this disease and how this will really take everything from me. But thank G-d, despite hitting another bottom, I am sober another day with very little desire to act out. I'm just tired of the pain. Not interested in living that life anymore. And sober life has so much more to offer! I've got a beautiful wife that I can connect to, 3 perfect children, a job that is interesting, great chavrusas. Sure it's scary to actually LIVE. To put myself out there and be engaged in regular, non acting out life. To finally let go of my resentments and face my fear of rejection. After all, it's the fear of rejections, coupled with my resenements that do the most damage to my relationships. But I'm ready to feel the fear (at least most of the time) and start to live. I used to obsess about staying sober. I though that there was some magic number of sober days that I woujld get to and be cured. One month would pass, two months, 3 and 4, and still feeling misreble. Of course I was! I wasnt letting go of resentments! I wasnt addressing my fear of rejection. But now I feel better than I ever have and I'm only on day 5. Its not the number of days that matters, rather the quality of the days.

Re: My Gift of Sobriety 16 Jul 2012 15:08 #141715

Ekrah wrote on 15 Jul 2012 21:06:

...Its not the number of days that matters, rather the quality of the days.


As Sarah Schenirer use to emphasize:
(Tehillim 90:12) למנות ימינו כן הודע -
Teach us to make our days count.

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: My Gift of Sobriety 17 Jul 2012 17:12 #141830

  • AlexEliezer
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Ekrah,
Nice to meet you.
I relate completely to your post.
I learned in psych class that when a person takes a drink to solve a problem, he stops growing. I think the same can be said for any addictive substance, including ours. Once we've established a pattern of substance abuse to assuage our misery and become addicted, even if we abstain, we don't automatically start growing again. That's what the steps are for, to restart our growth and repair our selves and our relationships.

I wish you much success on this new stage of your journey.

Alex
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