Hello,

I though it would do some good to myself as well as others to chart my progress and feelings. Thank G-D I am 52 days clean. Second longest stretch in 20 years and I'm still in my 30's. I read a few posts yesterday about guys reaching up to 60 and 70 days and then falling and was not encouraged at all.

When will my brain realize that I don't want my urges to be controlling me, I want to be controlling them.

Its so hard to walk down the street and not stare at women. It feels as if my urges have been choked and are gasping for air, for anything they can get my eyes on.

Please G-D give me the strength to carry on another day, one-day-at-a-time.

Good night my brothers-in-arms.

Joe

I know the feeling, 'cause it takes one to know one.
Let's keep on going, with Hashem's help we'll make it through.
All the best.

Hey MB, thanks for the suppport. Yes B"H we will make it.

Day 53 status report: Today was a decent day. Eyes didn't wander to much, although did find it difficult to concentrate during my meeting with clients. Note to self: Need to learn how to master control of my eyes especially during meetings, perhaps a short prayer before my meetings will help.

Looking forward to winning tomorrow's battle. Good night everyone.

Joe

"Tommorow's battle?" What about todays?

All the best, today and tommorow.

MB

Hey MB, B"H both of those battles are behind us and I am officially starting day 55.

Lets see, to summarize my week, well it was pretty good, I guess. It was one of those long overtime exausting week's that make you so tired that when you get home that you have not strength to do anything other than sleep. Even now as I write this, I am super exausted and cant wait to just lay down and close my eyes.

Note to self: Perhaps sometimes staying late at the office (as a temporary thing) and keeping busy with productive work can help cure the need to act out when we are home and bored with lots of energy.

All the best to you too buddy and and to all of our other brothers out there!

Good night and May G-D continue to watch over us and protect us.

Joe

hey, congratulations on the 55 and wellcome. ;D

Hey Yehoshua, thankks for the congrats.

B"H I'm at day 58. Shabbat went well but and I'm starting to think that things are a little to well, as in too quite like the quite before the storm. I have a shaky feeling that the YH knows that I got my battle armour on and he's planning with his generals some new strategy to break my resolve. I trully hope and pray to Hashem that I'm wrong but I guess only time will tell.

May Hashem continue to watch over us and may we be strong in our batles.

Joe

Dont be afraid! Trust in G-D. Take it one day at a time.

R' Joe,

I know the feeling, been there many times.

Maybe it can be helpfull in those times to reflect a bit on how I remain still very weak and may fall again one day, habits and especially addiction of many years aren't at all erased in a short few months. Iv'e found this to be helpfull for me, not to let the Y"H think think that I feel free from him, if so CH"V he can slip in the back door - the one with the sign on it that says "The Complacents".

Wishing you the best of siyata dishmaya,

MB