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trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days!

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 6683 Views

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 26 Jul 2012 18:08 #142503

jewish jew
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I had a double fall today. I felt it was jiggling in my stomach that I "needed" to masturbate and... bang bang!

I have realised two things .1. After a nice period of being clean I always masturbate twice.

.2. (and this is the important one) When I have a decent streak of cleanness I start to act slack I don't log on to read posts that give me a lot of chizuk and I don't even open my email to read the chizuk emails etc.

So today I am starting again to read the handbook (I started once, just became lazy and stopped) so I am going to try making a commitment to read everyday that I am next to my computer a page of the handbook and if not I will give to tzedaka a certain amount of money (Bli Neder)

Have a good day holy brothers JJ (I am a bit upset today but hoping to get over it quickly)

The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 27 Jul 2012 01:10 #142531

2nd-chance Current streak: 20 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 249 Karma: 4	hey chaver Keep on Trucking
	The multitude of wounds on a soldier demonstrate his audacity.

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 27 Jul 2012 05:57 #142541

obormottel
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First, I was always amazed when I would do a double whammy right after a clean period, just to prove that when you fall, you go back to exactly where you left off. That is not to say that clean time doesn't count but falls reset your clean time for a reason.
Second, I like your attitude of getting up, shaking it off and moving on. Hatzlocho!
Third, you don't really have to read every day. Only on those days you wanna be clean.
M.

Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 30 Jul 2012 14:47 #142636

jewish jew
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OberMottel I liked that last line!!

Had a fall three times in two days. OK I have to have a break a bit of falling just to be able to see clearly where I am standing with my progress.
If I fall once in a while I know that I am moving forward whilst tripping here and there but when I crash so hard I start to question if I have progressed at all (or maybe the yetzer harah is trying extra hard to shake of this attempt and to give into the fact that I "love" sex and can't live without it)

Love you my helping and caring brothers JJ

The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 30 Jul 2012 14:53 #142639

AlexEliezer OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1933 Karma: 55	One day. Get through one day. That's how all sobriety starts. Happens to also be the way we do it every day.

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 31 Jul 2012 05:51 #142682

Dov
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jewish wrote on 30 Jul 2012 14:47:

(or maybe the yetzer harah is trying extra hard to shake of this attempt and to give into the fact that I "love" sex and can't live without it)

You may indeed love sex. The truth about the way you feel and what you really believe is just the truth. It may be a problem, but it's neither good nor evil - it's just the truth. The question now would be what to do with reality.

But that you can't live without it, is nonsense. Believing nonsense is strange and you do not need to do that.

"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 31 Jul 2012 10:01 #142686

think good
Current streak: 1 day
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Every clean day counts, but don't slack off you MUST read the emails dafka on the clean days.

When we are clean is the time to work on ourselfs to prepare for the lust attack which comes on sundenly without warning.

Almost anything can trigger us addicts.

It may start with a look in the wrong place or not turning one's eyes away or ???.

Try to change your thoughts to something completely different. It's very hard and needs constant effort only today. I suddenly realized my eyes were fixed on a lady for a few seconds until I got my act together and turned away. It's a constant battle.

Keep going

Re: trying to be a Jewish Jew for at least 90 days! 26 Aug 2012 12:27 #144175

jewish jew
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My life has been is (and still is) in a whirlwind for the past few weeks like a real tornado has struck and that is effecting me a lot. All the mental work I have put into the fact that even if I fall there is still a way up and it doesn't mean I have not progressed has been killed as I don't have time to focus on it anymore.
Right now I am in a state that I run away to porn and masturbation for relief (it helps for those few seconds and then hits back even harder) and then don't have time to focus on where am I standing, why I am lusting how to control and counter attack etc.

All right, that is my mixed up life right now bye to all my friends out here JJ

The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection