There's alot of bad stuff we need to keep out of our mind ie. feeling sorry for ourseleves also leads to the wrong way.

thanks any and keep up

Alex if only I would listen to you!
People have written to me before in my post (maybe it was you) that I have to surrender to Hashem. I can see how it would help but for some reason when the urge comes in full attack my mind forgets to surrender I just try keeping myself occupied instead of giving in and davening to Hashem.

OK I have to work on it!! (any idea or tips??)

bye for now JJ

http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=5400.15 Please see reply #16 if you want to see a bit more on self-pity.

Hatzlocha to us in our climb!

if it's this one, it's great read!

Yes Obermotel it is the same link that Dov sent and it was really a great read!

Dov, I feel honored with you having posting something on my post. Thanx!

JJ

Aw, shucks. But thanks for the chizzuk.

jewish wrote on 04 Jun 2012 17:54:


Yes, try to surrender BEFORE you have a full-blown attack.

Pay attention to how you're feeling and what you're doing. Are you on the way, though distant as it may be, to acting out? For me I try to notice if I'm feeling RID--Restlessness, Irritability, and Discontent. If I am, then I try to pull out the tools of recovery I have learned in order to deal with it--especially calling people, but also writing about it.

I'm actually here on the forum right now because I was feeling really disturbed throughout today. I know if I don't get heavily involved in recovery right now, I'm likely to keep getting worse and eventually fall. BTW, today I am 1 year sober.

I have been hanging out here for about a half hour now, and I think I'm in a better place now as a result.

Let me know if this was helpful at all.

--Elyah

What a week I am clean without working to hard just distracting myself B"H. Just last night I had an urge (my wife is going to the mikveh tonight after a long break and I was dreaming about the porn videos on how to have fun : ) but I did as Elya says I realized the problem and straight away davened and surrendered to Hashem (also a break through) and went to GYE to post and read and manged to overcome it!!

My THaPHsic shavua is amazing it is really helping. I am going to renew it today.
Have a look at the Medrash Parshas Behaloschah 15/12 what it says about making a shavua on lust. (if anyone can put up a picture of the Midrash it would be good I just tried but didn't manage)

Bye for now JJ

jewish wrote on 10 Jun 2012 12:04:


Glad you found this was helpful. My whole recovery, basically, is based on this idea.

Hatzlacha,

Elyah

Good to hear of your success.

The Y"H will be back with all sorts of new tricks. The keep repeating the process -- avoidance and tefilah.

I would often let my mind go when I knew my wife was tahor, figuring I would have an outlet. Always came back to bite me, though. Lust isn't something we can turn on and off at will. We can only slam the door shut on it and stay far away at all times.

This week is going to be really tough (I doubt I will manage to get through it clean )
I am going to be home alone now for a week!

Please daven for JJ just to overcome each and everyday of this week as if I was never into porn etc. Next week when I am back into my usual life cycle then resume the battle (I don't wan't it but I have to be realistic)

JJ

Hey, JJ,
a week is a loooooong time to plan to stay sober for. Most of us couldn't do it for a whole week.
But you can stay clean today, can't you? Just commit to protecting your sobriety for one day, and reserve the right to go the other way tomorrow.
Keep us posted. And of course, we're praying for you.
Please, G-d, keep JJ free of obsessions of lust today. Amein.
Mottel

No matter how hard I try to push, I cannot seem to go to the bathroom for tomorrow.

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - I can do today to get me to be sober tomorrow. The only insurance I can possibly take out for tomorrow is to sincerely live today as right as I can. And thinking about tomorrow ruins that completely.

See the Sfas Emess (in likutim) on "im lo achshav eimosai?" It's nice, about "achshov".

Each day is a seperate avodah, a separate Malchus. "v'ein Malchus achas noga'as b'chavertah, afilu k'molei neemah"!

Dear JJ,

The Gemara says (Pesachim 113a): There are three categories of people of whom Hashem is so proud that He issues a proclamation about them every day. One of them is the “single” guy who lives in a big city (with big nisyonos) and does not sin. Such as R’ Chanina and R’ Oshia who were shoemakers in Eretz Yisroel, and they would sit in the street of the prostitutes and make shoes for them. They would then go in and bring the shoes to them. The prostitutes would look at them, but they would not lift their eyes to look at the prostitutes.

Here is your opportunity to get on Hashem’s daily Honor Roll. Hashem is looking forward to issue a proclamation about you and your great Avodah. Think about that. We’re sure you would not want to disappoint Him.

And BTW, notice that He does this “every day”, because He also knows that this can only be done ‘a day at a time’.

Hatzlacha b’chol yom v’yom

MT

OK folks thanx a lot for your chizuk!! But....I am back to basics, starting all over again :'(

I have this old computer that barely works (and without K9) but last night I was really "sick" and managed to get it working just for the porn so I am back to base one.

Plans and thought for the coming week .1. I am throwing the old computer out today!! (no more temptation) .2. I usually after masturbating don't get urged for half a week or so, but when I am by myself for a week the urge will come quicker and harder. If I managed to get through the rest of the week without any other slip/fall then to myself it will be a major win .

Day 1 of 8 FALL (I had set plans for the week, I fell, but not giving up (yet))

Oh well! bye for now JJ