I just started my 90 days yet again and I don't want to EVER stop fighting or give up. I need your help, I need Hashem's help cause on my own I am burned toast already!

Hatzlochoh, keep on trying!

burnt toast??? its actually very healthy
the fact that you started all new again, and even posted it, shows that you are far from being burnt
you might be a bit lost for directions, thats all!
your neshomo is burning with desire to be close to hashem, to be clean
wants to run away from the grip of the yetzer hora
my dear, dont fear, just do it for one day, hashem is with you all the way!

For real, Shmeichel is right on point, you came out here, honestly. That's a great virtue, you show strength and courage and love. There are always ups and downs, but your honesty is what remains. And you can always return to honesty.

Hi KT!
Welcome to the forum!
Looking forward to celebrating success with you.
Could you maybe share a little of your story and what you're doing to recover?