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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: im starting NOW 2745 Views

im starting NOW 01 Jan 2012 01:07 #129651

  • emunah19
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guys i fell this Shabbos and im pickin' myself up illkeep em posts comin' and keep everyone updated on my progress this is my first real commitment to gye and i intend to do myself justice A GUTE VUCH to all us truckers
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Re: im starting NOW 01 Jan 2012 03:06 #129656

  • shteeble
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Real commitment is a start
A gameplan is what it takes.
What's on the agenda?
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Re: im starting NOW 01 Jan 2012 07:19 #129668

  • obormottel
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Hit the ground running!
are you on the 90-day chart yet?
Do you have fences in place for when the next "lust attack" hits you?
Hatzlocho and a gute voch!
Mottel
Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.
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Re: im starting NOW 05 Jan 2012 18:04 #130148

  • AlexEliezer
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Emunah how's it going?
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Re: im starting NOW 15 Jan 2012 04:22 #130824

  • emunah19
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Thanx for asking alex im doing amazing im soaring i am clean for 2 weeks B"H I just ran in to a slight problem i get so scared of falling again that i drive myself crazy i dont want to have to start over again arent all the guys clean for any stretch of time scared anyone have tips for me?
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Re: im starting NOW 15 Jan 2012 05:16 #130833

  • 613mevakesh
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emunah18 wrote on 15 Jan 2012 04:22:

I just ran in to a slight problem i get so scared of falling again that i drive myself crazy i dont want to have to start over again arent all the guys clean for any stretch of time scared anyone have tips for me?

Hey there I'm with you on the scarediness,
You're ahead of me so I really shouldn't be talking (I'm clean for eleven days)!
Anyway, they keep stressing all over this site and in the handbooks:

"Take the 90 days “one day at a time”. We can’t eat or sleep today for tomorrow, and we can’t stay
sober for tomorrow either. One addict who is already sober for 20 years was wont to say, “Just
for today I won’t act-out, even if my backside falls off!” (and it never did :-)"

So let's hope our backsides don't fall off ;D !!!
Good luck to both of us!!
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Re: im starting NOW 15 Jan 2012 15:16 #130842

  • shteeble
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Just let go of the fear.

Acting out is not in your control.

You're an addict.

You are powerless over lust.

If you try to be in control, you will fail.

Admit that you are powerless, and let the RBS"O take control.

If you give Him control of the wheel, it is no longer your job to worry, and you don't need to fall apart.

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Re: im starting NOW 17 Jan 2012 23:40 #131039

  • emunah19
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Thanx shteeble normally i find it very helpful to just give up so to speak and just daven that i shouldnt fall it is a very liberating feeling. I just started the12 steps and am on the 1 i will try not to feel in control thanx
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Re: im starting NOW 19 Jan 2012 17:25 #131151

  • chaimyakov
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The only time i face fear or feel afraid is when i look at the future.  i must focus on today and today only, or this hour or this minute or this second only because it is only "now" that i can deal with anyway.  i have found relief in not only turning my lust over to Hashem but also anger and fear.  Though i am not an anger addict or fear addict just a lust addict it works just the same.
BTW, CONGRATULATIONS ON TWO WEEKS CLEAN!!!!  AWESOME!  FANTASTIC!
Remember how you got here, one second then one minute then one hour then one day then one week at a time.  Live the present because that is all you have.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: im starting NOW 20 Jan 2012 17:37 #131277

  • emunah19
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thanks im still clean but i was scared about shabbos it is the hardest day for me and after i read all this i felt relieved cuz im just dealing with the now and today  shabbat shalom to all
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Re: im starting NOW 22 Jan 2012 02:20 #131321

  • emunah19
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I am still so scared i am probably going to fall again and i just dont know when thats how i feel
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Re: im starting NOW 22 Jan 2012 15:24 #131354

  • chaimyakov
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Do you have anyone to talk to?  SA meetings in your area?
pm me if you need someone to talk to on East coast USA
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: im starting NOW 03 Feb 2012 20:57 #132377

  • emunah19
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I fell again after 23 days clean at first i felt terrible but now a week later im in the clouds How was i able to do it Im clean for 8 days boruch Hashem i guess im starting again now shalom everyone and have a good Shabbos
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Re: im starting NOW 05 Feb 2012 18:24 #132407

  • chaimyakov
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recovery is a process.  as long as you are progressing you have what to be happy about.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov
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Re: im starting NOW 15 Feb 2012 15:47 #133042

  • emunah19
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I fell again on monday I wanted to do it so badly that I couldnt stop myself and mastu.... twice I couldnt control myself and I couldnt admit that that was the problem i just said to myself i didnt do it in so long big deal if I do it now and than i fell
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